Fertility Network UK
13,182 members21,312 posts

Surrogacy is stressful

Hello everyone? How are you all doing? I sincerely hope this find you all well. I wanted to share something with you all... As I mentioned earlier I have started surrogacy. Now since it is illegal to do it here on my home country me DH and I have to travel to another country nearly every week. This is tiring us a lot. I think it is all worth it as this is the only option I got. I just need some motivation and someone to talk to. Sorry for the long post and rambling... I just feel a little weird. I am soo happy yet I don't know what will I do till the very end. Wish you all had a great week. God bless you all good people. Also please Take good care of yourselves xoxo

31 Replies
oldestnewest

Hello Alessia I’m doing well the best I’ve felt in a long time. I cannot begin to imagine what you are both going through. It’s understandable to feel weird. And it will be worth it when you have a baby that you have desperately wanted for so long. And we are always here for you if you ever want to chat. And please take care of yourself.

Terri x

1 like
Reply

Really glad to hear that you are doing well. I hope this continues for as long as you may live! It indeed is a harsh time to go through. The thought of the baby however has kept me going. It is hard and it will continue to be this way. We don't have a guarantee that it will work. It might happen that the surrogate doesn't conceive... Or even worse a miscarriage. I am really scared but I keep going on. Thank you for being here. You all have been a great help. Thanks for eveyrhting else too.

PS: You and your man are looking fine :)! Much love for you dear. God bless you both!

Reply

And I agree it will be hard every step of the way until you hold your baby and it’s understandable to be scared. You’re welcome. We have just found out that our first try on ivf was a success. And thank you very much and much love xx

1 like
Reply

OMG, that is amazing news. I am super happy for you! May everything go just as you want it to go. I will be waiting for your big announcement after 9 months. Who knows maybe we will be mothers at the same time. That would be awesome! Wouldn't it?

You have to be patient and strong too dear. Try your best to live healhty and to take care of your baby! Things will be just fine. Honestly I am really happy for you... I also do not know much about you! However I have a feeling that you have been through enough on your life. Now, I am sure, what comes will be only beautiful things. God bless you love. Take care xx

Reply

Thank you. It would be awesome if we were mothers at the same time. I will do before I got pregnant I was doing Slimming World and I will continue to do so throughout the pregnancy. Me and my fiancé have been trying for a baby for 2 years without much success. So in January I decided to change my life style and ate healthily on slimming world and exercise and I went to the gp in January and they referred me to the fertility clinic. So I had my first appointment in April and when they did my scan they noticed that my follicles were low for my age of 30 (I turned 31 last month) so I had an AMH blood test and turns out that my egg count is 6.1 whereas for my age it should be around 19.7. Whilst I was losing weight they tried me on clomid where they discovered that I wasn’t ovulating so ivf it was. Which I started on the 21st of October and now I’m 5 weeks pregnant xxx

Reply

Hi my lovely

Naturally your going to find it stressful travelling and going into this things are moving so quick for you I bet you've barely got time to think, also be taking it's toll on hubby driving. Just, remember like you said it will all, be worth it. The things we want so bad don't come easy Tugsgirl reminded me of this not so long ago.

You keep resting when you can and keep us updated I'm excited to hear about your journey. You know where I am hun. Take care lots of love 💗🤗😘

1 like
Reply

Hey there again dear. You cannot believe how stressful it is. We always travel by car and not by plane. That adds pressure to my DH... I am afriad he will fall asleep while on the wheel. Which is jsut me being paranoid. I guess that would never happen to him. He is way to nervous to fall asleep at any place other than his bed. A great reminder by Tugsgirl. ALways keep that in your mind. I will keep it inmy mind too from now on. Thanks for sharing that with me.

I need to thank you especially love. You have been here every step of the way for me. May god bless you with his chosen blessings.

1 like
Reply

You need not thank me hun for anything ever again please.

I can totally imagine hun i actually like travelling but it is tiring especially now iv got older.

Good on your hubby for not falling asleep anywhere but his bed 😅 my hubby and me will fall asleep wherever we feel comfortable.

Yes that reminder from tugsgirl is a reminder to carry and keep positive.

Keep strong you know where here if you need us.💗💗🤗😘

1 like
Reply

I am glad I have you here dear. Sincerely mean it... Traveling is the best part of this... On our way to Ukraine we past cross many beautiful conutires like Austria and Poland. However it get's a little tiring. There are plenty things to see though. I can fall asleep just like that too... It's just him who has this weird issue, I guess. I do keep that reminder myself too. Again thanks for sharing it with me. God bless you love. Thanks for your huge support. I hope that everything will be fine with you too. Take good care of yourself. I hope that when we write again things will have taken a turn for the good... Bye and have a little fun, at least try to.

1 like
Reply

Bless you hun. Your really sweet. I'm glad you are enjoying your sight seeing and traveling.

I'm sure your dreams will come true after all this effort. Keep that thought with you. I'm going to try have fun soon my bday is soon and we'll be getting a little a puppy for our princess too so that will be exciting.

Nice speaking to you thanks for your message hun and your support lots of love 💗💗🤗😘😘

Reply

Hey sweet heart I am doing well. How do you do? I am so glad that you don’t lose your heart and initiate towards taking a step forward. Travelling is stressful anyway. You must not forget the outcome of this. Have you tried IVF before this? What was the problem which lead you to surrogacy? Surrogacy is not allowed in my country as well so my cousin went to Ukraine for surrogacy. It was superb successful. You can always share your stories here. I myself love listening the stories of strong ladies like you. You will have a cute healthy baby in your lap soon. Take good care of your diet and health. Keep calm and stay positive. Good luck.

1 like
Reply

Hello there paulinadave ! Really glad that you are talking to me love. It has been a rough week. I just got back from Ukraine. It was one hell of a journey this time. Well you see I was originally planning on going for IVF. It seemed that something was wrong with my egg cells. The health of them was very bad. It seemed that they cannot live long enough. Then surprise, surpise cancer hits my uterus. This combined with an infection leads to doctors removing my uterus completely! So I have no other options but to go for surrogacy. After this I am thinking about adoption. God bless you love. I will take care of myself, thanks you for suggesting that. You do the same!

Reply

Hey Alessia, first of all congratulations dear, for taking a step forward. I hope it will bring better outcome for you both in the future. I know how stressful it can be. It can be tiring at the same time. Travelling every week is not easy dear. However I am glad that your husband is very supportive. Which country and Clinic have you opted for? I also had a surrogacy experience few years back. Few of my friends had a very pleasant experience in Ukraine. Therefore I also opted for Ukraine Kiev. Trust me my whole journey was amazing. I was provided with every facility. Either it’s accommodation, travelling and food. Plus I was also provided with unlimited attempts without any extra charges. Anyone who is looking forward to surrogacy, they must have a look at this biotexcom.com/services/

1 like
Reply

Hello to you too dear friend. Thank you for you regards and your beautiful words. Sincerely they mean a lot to me. I am glad that I have him in my life too. I am going in Ukraine. The same clinic that you are suggesting. Please tell me that you are going there too! I would love to have friend there. The staff treats us super well but... You know I feel kind of lonely from time to time. It would be super amazing to have somebody there. I would be glad even if I cannot meet you there. That would mean that you made it. I hope that you are a proud mother as we speak. God bless you for your comment. Wish you all the best.

Reply

Hi Alessia. Don't worry dear. You're not alone. Infertility isn't easy. Taking about it helps. I hope you manage to find the right solution. Good luck! Keep us updated.

1 like
Reply

Hello there dear Emily. How are you doing today love? Hope that everything is fine! Thank you for your support. It really means a lot... It is at stages like this that people lose hope. Itnis hard to keep walking forward. I know how it feels because that just what I am going through. The support from kindhearted people like you helps a lot though. I think I have found a great solution. It feels good to dee hope in the horizon. No matter that it is hard now... This seemingly light at the end of the tunnel is the second thing to the support from you guys that keeps me going. Will try to update as much as I can. Would be honored to hsve you on my journey. God bless you love.

Reply

Hey Alessia! Well you ought to sacrifice something if you want to have something. You can at least do this if you want to have a baby. You just have to travel 2 to 3 times to the clinic normally. That is not too much for anyone. You will not even have to carry your child. The surrogate mother will carry your child. You will just have to pay for the process. It is as easy and promising it can be. Much better in results as compared to other process. So just be patient and relax.

1 like
Reply

Hi! Sorry for all that you've been through. I've looked through your previous posts and can imagine how tought this could be when you have no hope for being like others, to become a mom simplty when you plan it. basically I understand why you opted for surrogacy..we want to have own children but unfortunately it wasn't meant to happen to all. We also thought of surrogacy not so long ago and we tought it was the only option for us..maybe it's still so (beta is tomorrow, if it's negative I'll move to surrogacy). I just want to advise you not to make hasty decisions. I read about infertility in men and women and there are still chnces even if your husband has poor semen. Surrogacy with ICSI must be more efficient. Maybe it's possible to do TESA/TESE to collect better sperm...please, don't burn all down if you are not sure it won't work in any case becasue adoption is extremely difficult process.

Hold on girl! Take care

Reply

Aw, you poor soul. Well, it will all work out in the end.You will have a baby of your own for sure.Kind of confused are you yourself a surrogate mother? Also, I know of this clinic maybe you can contact them and stay with them .Especially if you do not have an issue flying overseas.Settle down with them.Take care of yourself love.It will be worth it in the end.

Reply

Hey she's getting a surrogate she lives over seas and has got a good clinic to help her xx

Reply

Hey! Great to hear that you started your journey,

I can imagine. Surrogacy is itself a tiring process. And traveling places for a single procedure made itself more tiring.

But trust me if everything will be fine until the end you would cheer this time you are living.

Keep yourself calm and just head straight towards your goal.

Everything would be fine soon,

Hope to get some great news from you.

I would suggest you that you must share details here.so it could help people out.

Wishing you good luck and success.

Reply

Hello Alessia, most importantly, congrats dear, to take a stage forward. I trust it will bring a superior result for you both later on. I can understand how hurt it is. It can be so disappointing sometimes. Voyaging each week isn't simple dear. In any case, I am happy that your better half is exceptionally steady. I additionally had a surrogacy encounter a couple of years back. Maybe a couple of my companions had an extremely wonderful involvement in Europe side. Believe me, my entire voyage was astounding. I was furnished with each office. Either it's convenience, voyaging and sustenance. In addition, I was additionally furnished with boundless endeavours with no additional charges.

Reply

Hi Alessia, and congratulations for starting the procedure! I think it's great that you took this decision. Why are you low? You should be excited! It's your baby in 9 months! I remember when I had surrogacy. Yes, the beginning months were depressing for some reason. Frightened is a small word. I was way too scared that what if something goes wrong. I can honestly say I understand your situation. It is very emotional. Just stay strong. Focus on the good parts. Focus on the baby announcement you will be making soon! Chin up, and good luck with all the steps that will follow.

Reply

Hi honey, I know it is tiring. Going back and forth from country to country. Gah, it must be stressful. We had surrogacy abroad too. After years and years of TTC, this was our ray of hope. You know, we felt the same sometimes. It was hectic, indeed. But in the end, it all paid off. Holding my baby for the first time? Best feeling EVER. Well, our clinic gave us free food and accommodation. That was a point worth noting. It made it convenient. But yet, I know it isn't easy travelling so often. Don't worry, it'll get better.

Reply

hello dear. how are you? you can always talk to me. I'm with you. you are such a strong woman. the way you are struggling for a baby. I really hope it gets successful. may you have the cutest baby. sending you baby dust, I'm sure your hard work will pay off. keep it up. ill pray for you. take care hun. will be waiting for the updates. bye.

Reply

Hey. I am sorry for what you are going through. But think about it that you are going to have a baby. When you will think about a good side of surrogacy then I think you are going to love it. I can understand this. It is so tiring to travel from one place to another every week. But dont you have the option of stay in that country. I hope this would help you. I went to a clinic in Europe. The clinic provided us accommodation. They also provided us all the services. During all the process we stayed there. They were also professional. I am so happy that I went there. I have a baby now. I am a blessed mother. I hope this is enough to make your mind.

Reply

Hey. I feel really Sorry for your loss. It's great news that you are taking the right decision. I am also a mother of a daughter who was given birth by a surrogate. I had Cervix Incompetence disease. So I couldn't give birth. I was not ready for IVF or adoption. Surrogacy was my last hope. I always wanted a biological baby. So through surrogacy, I could make it true. I made my mind and without wasting anytime I went for it. I faced no complications for this. I am so happy to be a mother of a daughter. My husband is happy too. We are blessed with a baby now and we are thankful to the people who supported us. I hope things go right in your way. Wish you best of luck.

Reply

hey there. I hope it's all going well. I am really sorry to hear about your problems. I know it must be hard. But look at the brighter picture. Youll gets what you want. I wish you good luck. Take care.

Reply

Hey Alessia, I hope you are well. I can understand that it must be tiring. However, hopefully everything in the end will be worth it. Just be more positive. It is important to be well researched when you opt for surrogacy. As you have already mentioned that the process is illegal in many countries. You have to be careful. In countries where it is even legal there are certain laws that the clinic follow. Make sure to go through them in order to avoid any error. I have also been searching for clinics for my IVF. Things that are really important include making sure the clinic has a high success rate. Apart from that it is also important to see that clinic is communicating at a better level. I hope you are soon able to find a good clinic. Surrogacy process is a lengthy one and it requires a lot of patience. Best of luck and do keep us updated.

Reply

Hello Alessia! I hope you are fine. I agree with you. Surrogacy is painful and stresses full thing. I'm glad to hear you start surrogacy journey. I know that surrogacy is the great blessing couples. Biotexcomclinic is a good treatment of surrogacy. They have experienced doctors. They encourage the patients. They provide good tips for surrogacy and ivf. Hope you must visit that clinic for better treatment. You will be soon a mother. Best wishes for your future.

Reply

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I'm happy for you and your family! This is so great you found a solution for your problem. It's nice to see your husband is fully on board! This is so important to support each other when one of you faces problems with fertility. I'm so lucky to have my husband. He supports me during all this long years of our struggle with infertility. Back in 2012 I had termination of the pregnancy because of my health condition. I can't be more grateful to my husband because he gave me support I needed so much. I knew that situation was really hard for him. Despite this he did his best for me to recover from our loss.

Reply

You may also like...