Husband wants us to put off round 2 of IVF

I'm feeling so frustrated at the moment. We had a BFN a couple of weeks ago but were lucky enough to get 3 frozen embryos. Our clinic have said we only need to wait a month before we go ahead with FET. My husband wants us to wait. He says that the impact it has had on me both physically and emotionally has been massive and we need to have a few good times together as a couple before we do it again. To be honest, he's probably right but there's a big part of me that just wants to crack on, especially after the wait we had to even start treatment. It's causing some pretty hefty arguments. Any advice? Xx

7 Replies

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  • I understand your desire to want to keep going but a break would probably be there wiser option.  You are so blessed to have such a great relationship with your hubby.  He needs and wants you to regain some ground together ..that is so special.  Have a prebaby moon and enjoy each other 😊

  • It's tough going after a bfn when ours failed part of me was glad to have a break and step of the roller coaster.I have just started my 2nd cycle on my 3rd period and feel 100% ready and weirdly much calmer this time, think I am trying not to invest my emotions into this time incase it all comes crashing down again xx

  • I totally relate to this although slightly different circumstances I have had 5 early miscarriages no reasons found and my way of coping is to keep trying but my partner is reluctant saying it's causing too much stress. I found making some time to openly talk to each other very calmly and making sure we listen to each other respectfully has helped. He now understands how I feel about it all and I also respect how he feels. Make some time to talk , without arguing , and remember you're in this together don't let barriers be created between you to add to an already stressful situation. I understand I really do everyone around me says have a break from it all, relax but it's hard when you feel you have a chance to go for something and for me it's this month (egg) could be the one good one lol . I wish you all the best xx 

  • We are currently having a break after getting a BFN at the beginning of April. At the time I really wanted to crack on like you but now a few weeks later I am really pleased we are having a break. It is doing our marriage wonders as we remember why we love each other, it is doing my body wonders as it is taking things a while to get back to normal and most importantly my mental health is improving a bit. Don't get me wrong K still want to crack on but a few months off will do no harm of anything it might set you up for a better chance on your next cycle

    Xxx

  • Thank you ladies for replying to me and making me feel better. I really do want a happy marriage to bring a child into so I think you (and hubby) are right - a few months off is probably what is needed for us to remind ourselves why we fell in love in the first place! Xx

  • Sounds like a lovely plan. Be good to each other. Relax, do what every you both fancy doing. In a couple of weeks you'll be glad :)

  • Hello Sarahmanc I totally get you! Our first fail was December & of course we were like F*CK we need to get back in there times-a-tickin'! Then I hit a wall. Remember I told you I responded really badly to the hormones in FET and I repeatedly told myself it wasn't going to work : cue INSANITY! 

    I guess my point is this will have taken a huge toll on your husband - how helpless must they feel? I'm sure it was awful for him to watch you go through it all then the grief that comes when it's not worked out. I think if you can try to see this as his hurt and fear rather than him trying to block you. Maybe a short break or another month might help you both reflect and get to a more confident point. 

    Just incase it doesn't work you need to be as strong as you can - the hospital are not taking into account your emotions xxxx

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