Ive not been good lately im currently waiting for donor eggs NHS 2nd cycle. (had 1 failed cycle with my egg)
Ive been soooo emotional lately I cant explain it. All through this process I have had bad days and good days but lately its been worse. Im crying a lot, I did before now and then but its got worse. I'm so up and down I think im finding im worse towards the last bit of my cycle? So am I getting pre menopause hormone symptoms or am i just the 'normal' IVF depressed?! im waking up in the night with night sweats again, more so towards end of cycle. My periods have gone from bang on 28 day cycle to all over the place anything from 19 to 30 day. terrible sore boobs (never had before) cramping bloating.. blah blah..
I think whats made me bad today is I woke up this morning having come on in the night... you will get my drift when i said i needed a shower... I had no pre warn of period coming (like i always used to) it just comes and heavy. I went into the kitchen to make a cup of tea and my other half came in and i just burst into tears. I feel its just reminding me that im infertile!! its reminding me that im waiting and waiting for this donor egg on the NHS that MIGHT help me have a child. im 39 in September I feel past it with nothing to look forward too apart from a wait for something that might not happen. Work is depressing im bored stiff and not enjoying it. im full time admin im only staying here as the maternity pay is so good???!!!!! - oh the irony!!! in my group of 9 school friends there were 3 of us left with no children and are the only ones that work full time (no meeting up for the kiddie lunches) one of them got pregnant at christmas the other has had 3 failed IVF and has given up. Then there's me. the only one in pre menopause, hormonal as hell.
Sorry once ive started typing i cant seem to stop... What I want to know is, is it worth calling my GP to see if there is anything I can take for this? I dont care if its the pill to regulate my cycle?! with my Sh*t eggs and my other half's Sh*t sperm theres no way we can conceive naturally anyway. Even if we did it probably wouldn't survive or have something wrong with it. But would it muck up IVF in a few months when we start next ICSI with DE? I say months could be this month could be September!! Could the GP sign me off work for a bit??
For the record I have booked in for counselling at my clinic and I have called them asking for an update on the waiting list.. still waiting for the reply.
sorry for the rant guys xx
My god i just read this back to myself... I am normally a very happy normal person honest!!!!