Looking for a buddy- severe Oligaspermia

[bigmac1984]

Hi, I'm new to this forum, I am 31, wife 34, ttc since March 2015, my wife's checks all came back clear, I have a very low sperm count, less than 1 million/ml. We are currently in the care of Dr Jayasena at the Ramsey clinic in West London, he has put me on tamoxifen and I am going back for more SA tests in April and May to see if there are any sperm usable for ICSI.

I am hoping to find other men in a similar situation to message and have a bit of rapport with, part of the difficulty for me at the moment is feeling isolated and that no-one else knows what it's like, my wife has been amazing and really supportive but it's a very different situation for both of us and it would be good to have a bit of contact with guys that are in the same situation as me. Fertility isn't a subject that people talk about openly, I'm sure there are loads of people out there in the same situation as me it's just challenging finding them!

Anyway give me a reply or message if you are in a similar situation. I've noticed that most of the posts are from women so if you are a women and know a guy that might be interested then put him in touch!

Chris

[Kateamelia]

Hi Chris, my husband and I are in a similar situation, his first SA came back with zero and from then on the most we have seen in any sample is 25! Diagnosis was primary testicular failure following a spell with an overactive thyroid. I will talk to him and see if he will come on here but he's not one for sharing.

I know he has found it really difficult, even though the results were just over a year a go now. He has struggled with feeling inadequate and as a partner it's been really heartbreaking to hear.

Please know that you are much more than the sample you provide; much more than just your sperm.

We had our first round of ICSI in October and there was no problem with his sample, even with very low numbers. After all, they only need as many sperm as eggs that are collected so you will sail through I'm sure.

I will try my best to get my husband on here x

[bigmac1984 in reply to Kateamelia]

Thanks for your reply, it's good to hear that they found enough to do ICSI for you guys, I know they don't need many sperm for it now. I think many men don't want to talk about health issues, particularly about this kind of thing as male sub fertility is so Unknown and I think the whole male fertility thing is sub consciously linked to being a man, a sign of strength etc. I had absolutely no idea that I could be totally healthy (I'm actually super fit at the moment as I do a lot of long distance running and 3 days after my first test results ran a half marathon in a really good time) but yet have such a low sperm count, I had never heard of that being possible, I thought it would be linked to general health or having a particular health issue that causes it but never as a stand alone condition caused apparently just by bad luck! I also feel inadequate as I feel it's my fault and I'm letting the side down, we have been planning kids for years and I feel like I'm causing an issue, even though I know it's not my fault I can't help but think that. Anyway, hope u and ur husband are ok and if he wants to message about anything then just give me a shout, even if he just wants to let off some steam and have a moan about something, it can really help sometimes. I'm sure u are doing lots to help as is my wife but it is a different experience for both of us and our feelings are different at times.

[Kat9lives]

Hi Chris

I recommend reading Zita West's guide to fertility which had a section on male fertility. My hub had a low sperm count on the first 2 tests (4million then 2 million) but cut out protein powder (which can affect sperm count apparently even though it was just a standard plain powder), he ate a homemade granola I made out of nuts everyday for breakfast (zita west recipe online specifically for fertility in both) and started wearing looser boxers. We also researched that he needed to make sure he had ejaculated once a day in the lead up to providing a sample. This was all started in the 3 months prior to our first consultation. He also mostly gave up caffeine, limited decaf drinks and alcohol and ate a healthy diet. When the clinic tested him he had 24 million sperm per ml and the fourth test showed 35 million per ml. We couldn't believe it. Apparently men can have different amounts naturally but the consultant said these fluctuations would probably be due to the changes he had made (in particular the protein powder). Might be worth giving it a go if you haven't already. Good luck xx

[bigmac1984 in reply to Kat9lives]

Wow that's an amazing increase thanks for the tip re Zita West, I have tried to be a bit healthier, cut right back on alcohol and caffein but maybe I should get a bit stricter with diet. The consultant did say that it's very unlikely to ever raise enough to conceive natirally so I'm not getting my hopes up too much but deffo worth trying everything going! Thanks again.

[Kat9lives in reply to bigmac1984]

Theres no harm in trying and if nothing else it may improve quality (as it is all about quality and not quantity after all 😊... even if there is nothing "wrong" with your quality...it can't harm to make them as good as poss). Also then you can say with complete conviction that you did everything you could. We both changed our diets (google fertility diets) and took really good quality vitamin supplements and omega 3 for 3 months prior. Best of luck xx

[fertmag]

Hi BigMac1984 - As kateamelia says, you are more than your sample. I have heard it said many times by Doctors that it can easily be the rugby-type guy who has sperm issues, and the weedy nerdy guy has supersperm! As with women very often, it is a total surprise that there is an issue (I know we have many more things to have tested!) as we are fit and healthy.

You may want to get in contact with Russell Davies from Fertile Mind - he does post on here sometimes. He wont mind me telling you, as he is open, that he had sperm issues but went on to have a child without any medical intervention. I would really suggest you read his story on his website - he is now a hypnotherapist and he vastly improved his sperm count through his mindset. I know some people are sceptical about this but it is worth exploring different avenues and it doesnt hurt (like ops and injections!!).

And as Kat9lives said, get a good quality supplement, may be more expensive but worth it. There are loads available and Zita's are well known and good quality, also look at Pillar Healthcare's pre-Conceive. Definitely look at your diet - you may think it is healthy but it may not be healthy for fertility.

Regarding another man's support, a blogger who had sperm issues has a good blog site: wannabedad - he's not posted for nearly as year as they did IVF and it was successful, but I'm sure there would be so good stuff to read. Also Fertility Friends has a mans room so I'm sure you'll find support on there. If you're inclined to read, I've heard that a good book is by Dr Liberty Walther Barnes, 'Conceiving Masculinity: male infertility, medicine and identity'. Quote: " She explains why men resist a stigmatising label like "infertile," and how men with poor fertility redefine for themselves what it means to be manly and masculine in a society that prizes male virility".

It's a challenging road for sure but good for you that you are trying to do something about it - sadly a number of men stick their heads in the sand and hope it will go away. All the best to you both - your wife sounds lovely