I feel so low and depression keeps ma... - Fertility Network UK

Fertility Network UK

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I feel so low and depression keeps making an apprearance


I've just had my 3rd lot of treatment and I'm currently on my 2ww which has never been easy anyway. I was rather ill this 3rd time round, I ached from the procedure and then I had a bad head cold at the same time where I couldn't drive or even walk properly without feeling dizzy.

I think for the past 1.5 years I've been on this journey either waiting for tests or treatment and haven't been able to work because of it, so there's no money coming in. It's really affected me not having my own home at my age but I wouldn't of been able to of even tried if I had to continue to pay rent. I just don't know where I am going really, nothing is settled.

It's probably pretty slim chance that this time has worked, so what am I to do then? Do I give up the fact that I wanted to be a mum, I can't imagine it anyway and try to push the thought to the side or do I have a go at donor eggs and pay £7000. I don't want any more regrets but dealing with everything on my own is so hard.

My mum is just about to go in to have a new knee replacement operation, so I guess time is going to be given to her for her recovery x

4 Replies

Sorry to hear you're feeling so low. It's is a tough journey will a real rollercoaster of emotions. Try to take things one day at a time and not think too far ahead.

If you do decide to opt for donor eggs than I know a lot of ladies on this sore have done IVF abroad. It can be much cheaper and I'm sure they will be happy to give you advice.

Take care x

Hidden in reply to Hopeful1982

Yes I realise it's cheaper abroad but I wouldn't do that on my own - I don't have a partner for support so everything becomes that much harder when you are on your own.

Thank you for your message x


Thank you for you message - I wish you luck too x


I'm sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. I'm sorry about your mum too, hope she feels better soon. I see some of the ladies have given some good advice here which is great 😊

Going through fertility treatment or suffering with infertility can definitely provoke some strong (and painful) feelings. You are not alone with those feelings. It's ok to have bad days, we all have some days that are tougher than others. Counselling can really help, something to maybe think about.I think it takes a real braveness to do this alone, I'm not sure I could cope so well without my husband. I think you're doing amazingly. You are a lot stronger than you think you are.💯

Even in a marriage you can still feel loneliness by trying to protect each other. I know my husband feels if he speaks of our infertility, worries that it dose it'll make me feel under pressure more. And I don't want him to treating me with kid gloves, I want him to be no different with me. Just to say it's definitely not a bed of roses for any couple to be in. Not only do you have to deal with your own feelings but also take on the other persons feelings too. Puts a massive strain on the strongest of relationships.Grass isn't always so green the other side. Im lucky my marriage is going strong. It's either make or break 💔

It is hard for those close to you to know what to say. I have taught my mum to say "I don't fully know what you are going through, but I'm here whenever you need to talk" that helps. Unless you're going/been through it you can't fully understand it.

There are so many difficult decisions to make and so much waiting around too much waiting! Adds to stress even more so. Regarding those kind of big decisions to make like egg donor I would recommend talking to a counsellor before making an decision. You must do what is right for you.

I've had to put trying on hold as Im having gynae issues (making me at higher risk of miscarriage) and have been treated by GP (who has been a great support) which was not successful, so I was referred in January to a general gynae, appointment isn't till April. It really sucks waiting doesn't it?

I am going to college twice a week, and trying to keep as busy as I can. By going to college has really helped me take my head out of babies a bit, yes I want a baby very much, but I can't let my whole life be on hold till that happens. The only good thing that came out not being able to try was realising my life mattered too.😜

Is there anyway you could go to college or maybe do a hobby like painting? Sometimes it's good to have something you can focus on non baby related. Doing something for you is important you matter too. On this journey that's too easy to forget!😘

I can understand why you aren't able to work, I think sometimes you must put your needs first. There are so many appointments the last thing you need is stress from an employee about absences.

Good luck with the whole journey and remember you are alone. Come on here anytime you need a chat/rant shout it out (I do a lot of ranting😂) it's good to get things off your chest with those who understand this . Baby will be worth it that's all we can tell ourselves we have to have hope the only thing that keeps any of us going 💞 x x x

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