OTD…. Negative I feel so hopeless

[Ree_Laine]

I really thought with this 2nd round I’d be able to share good news. I threw everything in to it, lifestyle change, supplements, acupuncture but no..still not good enough it’s negative. I feel like such a failure! 😣 I’m starting to believe that being a mum isn’t in my destiny. I’m finding it hard to look forward I feel so defeated.. I honestly don’t know where I go from here. There’s clearly an issue with implantation, does anyone know what tests could further investigate this? The tears are rolling now.

[Daughterofaking]

Hi, I know how you feel as I was there before. Just want to encourage you that it will end in praise someday. Just keep pushing and hoping. You. An also test for NK cells too. I’m sure a lot of people here will share their experience. I wish you all the best. You can always get back to me if you need anything. xx

[Ree_Laine in reply to Daughterofaking]

Thank you for your message ❤️I think after I grieve this process I’ll try and some how regain my strength to try again. I usually have a strong faith and will always look ahead and be positive but at this moment in time all has been lost. At some point I’ll ask for further tests on my womb to check if anything is preventing implantation. I really do appreciate your encouraging words and thank you again x

[Daughterofaking in reply to Ree_Laine]

You are welcome. This video can also give you more encouragement. facebook.com/share/v/tyyrjk... lots of hugs to you. It will end in testimony xx

facebook.com/share/v/tyyrjk...

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi Ree. So sorry to hear that this chance was not to be, and hope you have plenty of support around you just now. Have you had your Fallopian tubes checked, as any blockage could cause a leak of toxic fluid to drip into your womb, preventing implantation. Also a hysteroscopy would check your womb out, amd take a biopsy of the lining to check.. just my thoughts and apologies if already done. Hope all eventually works out. Diane

[Ree_Laine in reply to DianeArnold]

Hi Diane,

Thank you for your reply, I’ve had 1 Fallopian tube removed due to endometriosis but the other seems to be fine. I wasn’t aware that there was a procedure that can further look in to my womb. Thank you for suggesting a hysteroscopy - I think that would be beneficial in my case having 2 failed cycles. With 1 cycle left I’d like to investigate this prior to going in for another one.

[Nikkyoo in reply to Ree_Laine]

Sorry for how you feel, after 2 failed IVF procedure, Hysteroscopy was carried out on me and behold i had polyps,i am currently 12 weeks gone, lots of hugs for you dear.

[Ree_Laine in reply to Nikkyoo]

Aww congratulations 💕it does give me hope. I’ve gotten over the initial shock it hasn’t worked and will just need to move forward now. May I ask what benefits having a hysteroscopy if there’s anything they can prescribe or do that may assist having a successful round. Or is it just an investigation for a diagnosis. Thank you for your reply xx

[Nikkyoo in reply to Ree_Laine]

Hysteroscopy will help check if there is no issue with the womb,it could be scare tissues or polyps, and with all that, implantation can't take place, it's better for the womb to be free from any obstacle,i wish you all the best.❤️❤️❤️

[Bella000]

Just wanted to say I am so sorry. Sending you hugs. I unfortunately don't have any advice to give, but I've been in a similar situation as I also just got a disappointing result from my 2nd cycle. We were told that it was likely to be my egg quality and there were not a lot that they could change in terms of protocols. But I've been doing supplements, exercise, changing makeups etc., so finding this situation very challenging and don't know what else or more I could change. After getting the result, and also after the review session, I'm either completely flat in emotion or crying my eyes out. It's a bit like I'm losing a bit of myself. If you think talking to someone helps, please do feel free to send me a message. I hope you have support that you need and get an answer you're after.

[Ree_Laine in reply to Bella000]

Thank you for your message, it’s so disheartening it really is. Sometimes I’m fine getting on with everything but then every now and again I’ll just start crying out of the blue. I feel so frustrated as I don’t know what else I can do and the doctors don’t seem to know either 😔 I’ve been looking in to a hysteroscopy procedure and have asked my GP to refer me. Again I think I’m just trying to cover every avenue as to what maybe the reason for implantation failure, it’s so hard. Happy to DM as I can really relate to what you’re going through and you’re not alone xx

[Bella000 in reply to Ree_Laine]

Thank you for your message and kind words. I'm the same, almost two weeks from the test day but I still have a breakdown whilst I do work every day and finish things as usual. I feel like I'm living two lives. I understand how hard it must be for you to not know. For me it's the worst part of this journey, not knowing what is going to happen and why we're having to go through this all. Yes please do feel free to message me if you feel like it might help. You're not alone either xxx

[Twiglet2]

I’m so sorry 😢 in my experience it’s good to take a few days to feel what you need to feel it’s basically like grieving in my experience but there is always hope and (unfortunately) 2 tries is still quite early for it to work for a lot of people so there is defo an abundance of hope and more things to check and tests to be done 🤗 sometimes though we just need to keep trying to find that perfect wee embryo that will be the one xx

[Ree_Laine in reply to Twiglet2]

Hi, thank you for your message, it feels like we’re playing the lottery at this point. Just waiting for our numbers to be called that we’ve won. I’ve tried so many different things that could potentially help me and it still hasn’t worked. I don’t know how everyone does it to keep going. I feel so defeated, it’s made me question if it’s even possible or if there’s something wrong with me. I’m going to take these next few months to do what makes me happy, my life has been on hold and this process has really consumed all areas in my life. Social, emotional, physical - I’ll be getting back to ME before I go again! I will try and not lose hope xx

[Twiglet2 in reply to Ree_Laine]

That’s exactly where I am at, life my life while trying as it doesn’t make any difference anyways and I’ve had it work before and it can still be disheartening! It is defo a lottery you are right, even with all the knowledge and science there are still so many unknowns and the embryo needing to be just right there is only so much we can do before it is literally fate! Xx

[Saskia9]

We have MFI and had to have 5 egg retreivals and 6 transfers to get a BFP. Sometimes it's just a numbers game unfortunatelly.

[Ree_Laine in reply to Saskia9]

It’s a sad, torturous game 😔but we will fight to keep trying for as long as we can. Any advice on how you kept you kept hope alive? Did you do all of your rounds privately or have any additional tests that could aid a different tweak to your protocol?

[Saskia9 in reply to Ree_Laine]

In my country you get 6 rounds for free for the 1st child. I didn't have any hope left just wanted to use all the rounds so I wouldn't wonder what if. I was planing to go for 1 private round abroad to see if it made any difference. The last 3 rounds they didn't change my protocol but my husband did take vitamin C and E for the last round because I read it helps with sperm fragmentation. Public healthcare only offers basic SA so I told him to take it just in case. I don't know if this helped or we just got lucky. We usually only got 1 morula or embryo per round, except for round 3 where we got 2 embryos that ended as biochemicals and now with the last round we also got 2.

[CarlottaD27]

I’m sorry it’s a negative, it really is such a rollercoaster!

Have you looked into PGT-A testing embyos? Embryos are more likely to fail in women over 35 due to chromosomal abnormalities than implantation issues, so transferring tested embryos is one way to work out where the issue lies before paying for quiet extensive immune testing - unless of course your dr has recommended this for your case.

There are some stats in the HFEA website about when to initiate testing for RIF (and the tests recommended) that I found helpful for setting expectations for my age bracket. If you’ve had two transfers of untested, sadly to not have had a positive yet is quite normal. Hang in there, it’s great you’re thinking ahead and making a plan a that always gives me something proactive and positive to focus on.

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[Ree_Laine in reply to CarlottaD27]

Thank you for your reply. This is super helpful I’m going to look further and research what I might be able to do or ask of from my doctors. We’ve been on the nhs for our last 2 rounds but I can’t help but think that the nhs generic protocols without investigations might be putting us at a disadvantage. I feel as though they’re using a one strategy fits all approach. I dont know if we can even have PG TA testing?? With savings we may need to look in to going private to figure out the cause if there is any. Thank you again for the links you provided xx

[CarlottaD27 in reply to Ree_Laine]

That sounds really sensible, I found after a set back that having a plan of actions or doing anything different really helped. My clinic allows some adding (like testing) to be purchased on top of NHS cycles. They are expensive though so it’s a difficult chat and decision with the Dr u suppose! Good luck x