Treatment is about to start with Donor Eggs and Sperm

After waiting over 1.5 years and having 3 failed IUI attempts, I'm soon to be starting my treatment with Donor Eggs and Sperm. It took me a little while to get my head around this. Because it will be just me bringing my baby up (as I have no partner at the moment), I do worry financially about bringing a child up. I don't have anyone to look after my baby for me to enable me to go to work, so it's going to be really tough but I feel it's something that I need to give a try. Does anyone know of any support out there, would I be entitled to any benefits - not that I like that idea much. As it is I won't be able to have my own home and will have to share with my mum as I have no other choice. It's such a hard journey to go through but even more so when your doing it on your own, I'm going to be an older mum which I think makes the situation even harder!

13 Replies

  • Hey

    We been doing it on our own forever so you will be fine. I can't see why you won't be entitled to the normal entitlements. Only you know how ur baby got there no one else needs to....

    Good luck on this journey here if you need a chat xx

  • Do you know what the normal entitlements are?

    It's just balancing working with care for my baby and paying for it.

    Good luck to you too - I'm going to need as much support as I can get x

  • Hi distinction, pleased to hear you are trying again, no regrets eh? Am trying last attempt ivf then decided to try donor eggs as my old eggs don't seem so good 😞 I'm at the point where I won't mind how they got there, as tamtam says it's only you that needs to know. Just out of interest are you staying in the uk or Europe? Good luck with your journey. Please keep us posted how you get on xxx

  • I don't have any regrets about trying this way but I am worried financially about it.

    My treatment is in the UK - the counsellor seemed to think it was better as any child that is born can trace their donor parents that way - which is important for them to piece everything together.

    God luck to you too x

  • I wish you all the best and hope you get your longed for baby. We used DE for our 3rd and final attempt, sadly another BFN.

    Have you tried googling benefits? I think they depend on your income. You could try the CAB for advice.

  • So sorry to hear your final attempt didn't work. What are you going to do now? I think on this journey we have to realise that sometimes things don't always work out the way we would of liked - it's sad I know but I like to think that us women who try so very hard to have a child this way, deserve more than most to be mummy's. All the time, the procedures and cost stand for something. This is kind of my last attempt too at £7000 and previous it was £5000! At least you have your partner, I don't really have any other form of support.

    Anyway, I hope you find happiness in something else but always remember the hard work and effort you put into trying to have a longed for baby.

    Best wishes x

  • I don't know what we'll do next as you say things don't work out how you'd always want them to. I know we did everything we could do in our quest to be parents and whilst we have each other we won't ever get to be parents.

    My next step is counselling to try to help deal with the grief and try to move on.

    Hopefully you will meet a partner some day and have your baby.

    Good luck.

  • If you need to talk you can always send a PM to me.

    Try not to beat yourself up over what you did, you tried what you could.

    Adoption seems quite hard as you need to have an extra room and at the moment I don't even have my own place!

    I would perhaps go away to somewhere exotic to get away from things for a while and talk about new things you can take up together.

    It's so hard for all of us - Good luck with whatever you choose to do x

  • Thanks, that's very kind of you. I would like to know how you get on. DE has worked for others and hopefully it'll work for you.

    We have talked about adoption but don't think it's for us. But never say never.

  • Thank you x

  • Your a very similar age to me - at least you have a partner to share things with, I find it hard having to make all my decisions on my own. It's hard meeting trustworthy, reliable partners so if you have one of them, then they are worth their weight in gold!

    Look after yourself x

  • Tbh they have made so many changes I am unsure but the best website to go would the gov website and Google from there xx

  • Thanks for your reply x

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