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Fertility Network UK
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Very new to all this. Any advice would help.

Hello every one. I love reading all the posts. I am 27, I had 2 ectopic pregnancy's when I was 20 & 21, had my fallopian tubes removed. Me and my partner are now ready to start a family. We live in Kent in England. My partner has children from a previous relationship. We are going to try and go through NHS but will go private if we not intituled to NHS. I'm a bit worried about the consent forms and being approved. My partner has a bit of a past with being in trouble with the police, will this go against us, what sort of questions do they ask and do they do a criminal record check. Since his past he has got with me and sorted him self out and I don't want the past to affect us from being happy and having a family. Any information would be really helpfull, thankyou

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As long as he does not have a conviction for anything to do with harming children then you will be fine honey my partner was also a bit of a bad lad when he was younger but we never had a problem its only if you have been convicted of child abuse or any other crime to do with children we were asked this on a consultation but none of us have any violence what so ever on record i think you will be fine stop worrying you have enough stress at moment!!!!!!!! lots of luck to you both on your journey...also if your partner already has a child the nhs wont fund you honey it would have to be private but good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Thankyou Liz that has put my mind at ease a bit. No nothing to do with children but a few volente charges from being a lad and fighting. Do they do a criminal record check on you then. That's a bummer that because he has children I will not be entitled to NHS, better get saving. Is there things that go against you even getting approved with going private, like living in a council property, I have heard so many people say its going to be hard because I live in council, he's criminal record, he don't have nothing to do with he's family and you need family signatures to say that if anything happens to us that the child will be looked after and supported. Its all very scary at the minute.

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Hi billie. My partner also had criminal record for fighting when he was younger amongst other things. It didn't go against us. I think they recognise that these things happen and people change. My partners convicitions were many years ago and he now has his own successful business. As far as I am aware they didn't do any checks on us. We also didn't need any signatures from family.

Keep calm, these things happen and people grow up! I wouldn't worry too much about it and would concentrate on what's important at the moment.

I do not think you will get funding on the nhs as your partner already has a child from another relationship. But there are lots of options and clinics like monthly payments etc.

Good luck with it all xx

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no i live in a council 1 bedroom flat and i am nhs funded ..i honestly believe you are worrying over nothing honey but understand as i too had many worries but believe me none of what you mentioned will make the slightest difference they will definitely not hold any of that against you love trust me you will be fine get saving for your little miracle and good luck! Stop worrying sweetie the fact that you live in a council house and your partner has made a few mistakes in the past simply makes you a normal couple! lol xxxx

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Thank you, reading that has really helped me. Feeling a lot more positive about it all now x

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good honey like i said there are many things to worry about without anything unnecessarily lol have you considered egg donation for a reduced cost for your ivf?

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Hi billie88. Usually, the NHS will do a background check on both of you with prior consent from yourselves to do so. As far as I know they only want to know if there is a history of violence to children, or history of violence, so it may depend on what the criminal record was for, I would check with your GP as he/she may have to fill out forms too. If there has been a past problem of violence, then you would both have to see a counsellor before you continued with any treatment, as they are obliged to check about the welfare of any child born through fertility treatment. Please don’t worry about living in council property; it is your home, so that’s all that matters. As others have said, it is unlikely that you will get NHS funding as your partner has children. However, a few areas do permit it. If you have a look at fertilityfairness.co.uk you will be able to find your NHS area and see what their criteria are. It takes a couple of minutes to download, and is like an Excel spreadsheet, easy to follow. If funding is definitely not permitted, then there is an option of offering yourself as an egg donor or into an egg sharing scheme for free or much reduced costs. Some homework for you to do, but I do wish you both all the best. Diane

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That is all good to know, know I can stop stressing. Iv got a scan next month to have a look how womb and everything is and bloods being done. Now I can concentrate on eating healthy, going gym, loosing a bit more weight and just trying to get as healthy as I can to start the ivf. Thankyou both for your positive comments xx

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as DianeArnold writes some homework for you to do- I mean a ton of research on doctors, clinics and options. If you pay by yourself, consider ivf abroad, more affordable prices, but same success rates. Even plus accommodation, flights and food it ends up remarkably cheaper. You will find tons of info on this forum, fertilityfriends (the international boards, eg Poland or Czech) or babycentre co uk. Good luck with yr treatment xx

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