Go private or risk staying with NHS?

[Infertilemyrtle]

Hi All, I'm having a bit of a dilemma - I'm with Homerton Hospital and I have some frozen eggs there. I was doing an NHS FET when it was cancelled due to COVID. The hospital page has updated and it doesn't sound too promising when it comes to reopening- staff are currently being used elsewhere to treat coronavirus patients, so it says it is unlikely to reopen immediately after 11th May. We are lucky enough to be on a free cycle - but the thing is we've been in the NHS system for 4.5 years, initially they missed a very large fibroid and only tested my partner, causing delays when I had to have that out. We had to wait five months between starting my FET and the previous FET which was a BFN. In six years of being infertile, we've only had one egg transfer. I know this isn't the case but my crazy head just keeps thinking 'we're never going to be able to get another cycle.' So the question is this - do I try and go private and get in a clinic that is starting treatment again, recognising they will have a backlog of people to treat, and that, moving our eggs from Hommerton would take time + of course we have to pay. Or, shall I grin and bear it and stick with the NHS, knowing that they could take much more time, and that there's no guarantee they will be doing second cycles once all of this is over. I would be happy to pay private with Homerton but I think staffing is going to continue to be an issue, and as someone else said, if they start private they would have to start normal services too, as they can't be seen to be favouring one over the other. I'm just really stuck and desperate to know what to do. I don't want to make a mistake and end up that causing us another 6-10 months just to get a FET. What would you all do? Apologies if I sound too much if I am complaining, I know I am lucky to have frozen eggs, it's just been such a long long journey for us already. Thanks!

[Hidden]

Its a tough one. Did they give you an indication of timeline. Once clinics reopen and they tell you that it could take months for them to reopen then I would look to move. But as you said moving to a new clinic may take just as long if they decide they need to do their own testing etc. I would wait it out to see what they do in the next few weeks and take it from there. Wishing u well.

[Infertilemyrtle in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! Yes I think you're right, there's just no way to know which option is best and everyone's in the same boat really x

[Solly-44]

Oh love, it’s such a tough decision.

I was with Homerton too and much as I’m grateful for everything they’ve done for me, the delays were real, and that was without Covid to contend with! We were with them for over 2 years by the time we got to our first transfer for various reasons and several times I was determined that I’d had enough and would move our embryos.

I’d be inclined to hold tight for a couple of weeks though and see what their next update is. Like you say it will take time to move embryos etc and the situation is changing all the time. And you don’t sound as if you’re complaining, this is such a shitty situation and how you feel is completely justified. I hope you can get going soon xx

[Infertilemyrtle in reply to Solly-44]

Thank you for taking the time to respond - really appreciate it! Yes agreed we are going to wait a couple more weeks and then take stock but also do our research!

[Sorax]

Bless you it’s so hard at the moment as I bet every clinic has a backlog. I would deffo try and do as much research as possible ring clinics or email and see what there timeline would be if you did pay private. I have a feeling you might be best to stick with your own clinic I no you have waited so long but it will all be worth it and your so lucky to have frozen eggs too that might actually speed it up for you wishing you all the best xxx

[Infertilemyrtle in reply to Sorax]

Thank you for your response ! Definitely worth giving them a little try for a little while longer!

[Millbanks]

I’m with the Homerton too. Almost in exactly the same situation! It’s such a difficult decision xxx

[Hidden]

Me and my husband have just been talking about if this were to happen to us...

we have decided to go private else where for a fresh collection worst case scenario...

We have 4 top quality blastocysts in the freezer and we are private also..but if we find out it will take ages like months then we got no choice I'm not getting any younger (I'm 37) just gonna do what we got to do. Bonus will be we will have banked more embryo's. Yes it's gonna cost more money but if we have to wait month's then I'm not waiting it will be worth it in the end and more chances as we all know IVF has no guarantees..

[Infertilemyrtle in reply to Hidden]

Yes I know the feeling of the ticking clock - I'm about to turn 36 (still calling myself 35 haha) and this six years of waiting has really taken it out of me. Good luck to you in whichever route you go! X p

[Hidden]

We were talking about this just today on this forum. To be honest my preference changes with every minute. One minute i panic and think we should not wait for our nhs frostie and go with a private clinic but then we waited so long for our nhs turn and im not sure how to finance it as well. As i said earlier i think if financially you are very flexible i would go for a fresh round somewhere private. If you have limitation like we do then i would give it a few more weeks and use that to up your chances trough exercises and supplements. God this is so hard im not sure im typing this for you or myself 😭 x

[Infertilemyrtle in reply to Hidden]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear about your dillemna - it's real isn't it , so hard when you find your dreams are limited by finances it's mind boggling really. I wish you all the best XX

[Italy300618]

Such a difficult decision 😫 I would definitely wait 2 to 3 weeks to see where all the clinics are once they have applied, been assessed and either given or not the green light to reopen. By then your clinic will know their timeline, and in the mean time get a list of local private clinics that you can contact if your clinic come back with a longer timeline than you want so you can get going elsewhere.

There will be a backlog, but its private you get pushed through quickly anyway, I'd say 2 to 3 months and you would be ready to go at a private clinic.

Good luck my lovely xxx

[Infertilemyrtle in reply to Italy300618]

Thank you! Yes agreed waiting for a couple of weeks sound sensible! Glad to think private would be 2/3 months - if you've not been private it's so hard to know! Thanks for your response, and for taking the time to message X

[Lapinblanc88]

How old are you?

This is the crucial info we need.

I was with this clinic and I bitterly regret it.

I waited 18months from the first appointment to getting my embryo transfer

18months!

Then 7 months to start FET

Ridiculous .

The worst thing is that they don't tell you this.

I understand if they are overwhelmed and busy.

But I least communicate this to your patients and then we can make an informed decision!

It's always one app after another one and oh you have to give us more blood... Oh you need another scan...

I was 36 so you would think they would take this into consideration... Nope.

And to top it up, severall mistakes on my medical record...

I'm so upset with this clinic.

[Peanutchips in reply to Lapinblanc88]

I’m so sorry to hear this. Which client were you with, if you don’t mind me asking?

[LunaLovegood11 in reply to Lapinblanc88]

So frustrating xxx

[kt777 in reply to Lapinblanc88]

I can totally relate. I had 3 appointments where we were told IVF is the next step. The third time we went in and was told that we made a big fuss and the clinic lead had to come and apologise for basically wasting our time.

The waiting is bearable if we are working with dates. They should really use this time and sit down and schedule people in rather than saying soon or wait for an appointment. If it’s going to be 6 months let me know not keep dangling the word soon around wasting time - sorry rant over lol

[LunaLovegood11]

It’s a tough one. Perhaps wait a little while for an update but also put the feelers out for private if it’s an option for you.

We didn’t get any option of NHS funding in our area which was gutting, but the private place was amazing. NHS tests were about 6 months from tests to results and then no options.

The private clinic was 3 months from first appointment to fresh transfer, and they had to restart me on different meds in that time as I wasn’t responding.

We were 37 and 41 when we started and do often say we wonder if it was the quality of clinic why it worked for us.

Best of luck xxx

[ririlou13]

I’m at Homerton too. My first FET was cancelled just a few weeks before transfer. I have been told to keep calling the first day of my period. My period actually started this morning so I rang them today. I had to leave a message on the voicemail and asked for someone to call me back. I was called back not too long ago by receptionist who told me that treatment is still postponed. I asked if it would be possible to speak to one of the nurses and he told me none of the nurses were in the department as they have something redeployed to the front line

The situation is constantly changing so they could surprise us and reopen in 2 to 3 weeks. As someone else mentioned it may take a while to sort out transferring embryos to another clinic and then would they prioritise their existing patients.

It’s such a frustrating time but I’m going to just hold on a bit longer. I hope you have been able to come to a decision. All the best xx

[Infertilemyrtle in reply to ririlou13]

Thank you for leaving this message! Yes I spoke to them the other day and they said the same thing. I actually spoke an embryologist who was much more helpful!