Infertility-what help is there?

Hello, me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby for just over 18 months and the doctors just don't seem to want to help us. After we had been trying a year they said we can get the ball rolling to see if any things wrong. I had some blood tests and my boyfriend has a semen analysis and they both came back fine. Next appointment th doctor says we need to have been trying for 18 months now to get any more tests done so went for an appointment today and the doctor was useless! Told me need to have been trying 2 years really for any more to be done but said he can try and put me forward for an ultrasound to look for PCSO and I have to wait for a letter. I just feel like they don't want to help us? My boyfriend is a healthy 29 years old and I'm 22 on the weighty side but I know that's not a majour issue. Is anyone else having similar problems or know what the next step for me is? Thanks so much.

13 Replies

  • Hey Hun unfortunately most Drs do say you have to of been trying for 2 years before you can be considered for IVF etc. I know it's not what you want to hear and 6 months can seem like an age to wait but the Drs won't budge on that.

    Have you thought about going private? x

    The tests you have had so far have been fine so that's a good thing. :-)

  • Hiya thanks for commenting! It's just annoyed me that I keep getting told different things. First a year, then six months and today like I said was told 2 years. Just feels a bit like because I'm young they don't wanna help me but I want to be a younger mum and I don't want it to be 5 years down the line and nothing's happened because then I will be an older mum and that's just not what I want. Yeah the tests coming back were a positive for me but maybe means something worse is wrong. Never thought I'd have an problems at all because I'm younger but I guess doesn't work that way :( thanks Hun x

  • It's not fair if you feel you are being judged because of your age. You can choose to start a family when you want to it's no one else's business.

    I started later I was 33 & like you was told 2 years before they would consider putting me forward for IVF! I thought my god my times ticking! We went through a whole load of tests before my cycle, during it, after it etc etc and the verdict was unexplained fertility which isn't really an answer. After all these tests which took nearly a year might i add we were refused IVF on the NHS as my hubby has a son from a previous relationship. Even though he never sees him we were still not entitled to any funding so off we went to a private clinic.

    Result? - Twin girls last October through IVF = very, very happy Mummy & Daddy.

    Keep pushing forward hun it's a long process but fingers crossed totally worth it. Xx

  • Congratulation!! Oh my goodness twin girls! I'd love twins, I only want two so get them over and done with at once I'm well up for :) how anoying about the IVF, I don't understand why they make you try so long, if it doesn't happen kinda straight away then it should be addressed immediately. Well that's what I think. I was in the implant since I was 17 so I don't know if that could have effected me? Xx

  • Thanks hun. There was a lot of upset along the way & it wasn't easy but we have our 2 bundles of joy now & as you say got it all done in one go tee hee.

    I don't think the implant would have effected you. I think it's out of your system in 24 hours. I guess it may take a while for your body to get back to normal so to say and start ovulating again but it wouldn't prevent conception.

    I know how frustrating it is hun believe you me! I said to hubby if we weren't such honest people would they of actually looked into whether he had a son or not & could we of then got funded instead of spending thousands going private! But things happen for a reason so they say.......we have our little monkeys now & wouldn't change them for the world. Xx

  • Hi

    We were told we had to be trying for at least two years before they would get the ball rolling as it was we had to go privately!

  • Hi We had been trying over 12 months and nothing went to the Dr's last may had all tests in June 2015 all was fine decided to take me in for laparascopy and hysterocoscopy in November 2015. Had appointment with hospital 22nd December 2015 my left tube is blocked and bent and unfortunately do not have a right tube due to previous ectopic pregnancy some years ago!! Was put forward for ivf was told there could be upto 4-6 months wait. We now have our first ivf appointment next week 😊. They do normally say have to be trying for 2 years in total. But obviously I had problems in the past with my ectopic my Dr's were absolutely fab and the hospital have been amazing and I can't thank them enough for all the care given even with the emotional side. Maybe wait for scan to come through if that's all clear be persistent with them good luck wish you all the best and hope you get some answers xx

  • I think it depends on your doctor as well. Have you tried going to different doctors? If it's 2 years you have to wait and you've already waited 18 months can you be doing anything to help your chances in the meantime? Eating healthily and exercising regularly etc will improve your chances and making sure your BMI is below 30 will help stop any delays once you start IVF as most clinics won't give you treat you until you're under. It's unfair that they're making you wait because of your age but if that's how it is, try to turn things into a positive and do what you can in the meantime. There's a lot of stages to go through and each one will feel like a hurdle so keep positive and be healthy and it will help.

    Good luck with your scan. X

  • Hey Hun,

    I found my doctor was absolutely useless and didn't really give a toss. Me and my partner went private and found out there and then the cause of my infertility it's definitely worth paying the money for the test otherwise who knows how long you'll be waiting for the nhs x

  • Hello

    You should be referred for the usual tests after 1 year of ttc. I am not sure what blood tests you have had done. My GP checked my progesterone levels at day 21 of my cycle but the fertility clinic checked my AMH (ovarian reserve), FSH levels and also did a Hycosy to check my Fallopian tubes were clear. I would go back to the GP and request you are referred to a fertility specialist for these tests.

    Yes, if everything is ok then you do have to wait 2 years before you can be put on the waiting list for IVF but I believe the guidelines are for the above tests to be carried out after 1 year.

    Good luck! x

    P.s. Your BMI needs to be below a certain level for IVF. Ask your GP what your BMI is and also what it needs to be for IVF. If you do need to loose weight it's best to get started while you're waiting! x

  • Hello, Jessica! I'm so sorry for things like these! I suppose they just consider you to be still to young having plenty of time.. but this is not the way out. Why two loving people desiring to have a baby have to wait years until it happens!? Maybe you should look for another fertility clinic? And see other qualified experts.. If I'm not mistaken you are still undiagnosed properly. And this makes difference. There must be a specific reason you cannot conceive for such a long time..

    We didn't face such sort of things at all as I was born without a womb. And it was clear from the very begining that I would never be a mother myself. In 2013 we applied for surrogacy in biotexcom. Our baby first saw this world after planned Caesarean on March 2014. I should say that among the clinic's patients there were a lot of young couples. With some of them we made good acquaintances and still have chats from time to time. I just wanna say that their young age wasn't the item they were treated somehow different. Every couple's problem in the fertility center was taken very seriously whatever their age was.

    A strong hug for you X Just find a good understanding expert to help you as quick as possible Xx

  • I was also initially told 2 years before they would consider referring me or even doing any testing so it sounds like them at least doing tests on you is a starting point. The only reason I managed to persuade them to test early is that I used ovulation sticks and had quite a short luteal phase, coupled with about 10 years earlier being told I had low progesterone levels. As a result they allowed me blood tests which proved I did have low progesterone (although subsequently turned out that was because they tested on wrong day) and that got me referral to hospital for scan which showed PCO. As a result of that I got my referral (and subsequently found out it was hubby with a bigger issue than me). Unfortunately this whole process is one big long waiting game. It sounds like you are heading in the right direction if they have been willing to refer you for a scan. Just take it one day at a time and see what the results of that are. I know you probably don't want to hear this but with your age you do have time on your side so in the grand scheme of things if you have to wait an extra 6 months for a referral it won't affect your chances of IVF funding or success (if it ever came to that). As the other ladies say if it does turn out you need IVF then most areas say you need a BMI of below 30 so if you are above that then it is worth using this time to start doing something about it. Good luck with everything!

  • Hi Jessicaopoil, I am so very sorry that you have to go through this but do hope you yr dreams come true. I read some sources and if you want to know more about infertility and woman diagnostics look at invictaclinics com/i-cant-get-pregnant/infertile-woman-diagnostics/ Check out if you have done all recommended tests, if not- may be it worth asking yr doc?

    Today I also come to this drmalpani com/index.php/articles/gyn-infertility

    and agree with ladies to explore the option for seeing a fertility specialist or go private.

    Another point is follow fertility diet e.g. mommyedition com/top-10-fertility-foods-to-eat-when-you-are-trying-to-conceive, give up smoking (if do), cut down on alcohol and coffee, and definitely loose weight Stay positive xx

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