Is that infertility?

Dear everyone. I'm so glad to find such a community where everyone seems to be ready to help! It's such a relief...cause they say I'm pretty young to worry about, though I can't get pregnant for a rather long time... We were never trying, but we don't use condoms or pills for more than a year (I've never used pills by the way). And it's not like we are a planning a baby, but I really want to get pregnant. Without planning, talking it over, getting prepared, just to have it naturally. And it doesn't happen. My husband isn't aware of me being kind of already obsessed with this idea. And I don't know what to do. Maybe someone knows if there are any tests, that I can take by myself to check if I have any serious problems? How did you ladies start all those thing, how did you recognize if there were serious problems?

Thank you, beautiful ladies! I hope all of us will be able to give a birth to beautiful children! (Thinking about you reading it I feel like giving a warm hug. Just for the feeling that I'm not alone here! XXX)

9 Replies

  • Hi miss sunshine. I'm 25 and have never used protection in the 11 years me and my boyfriend (now husband) have been together. At 18 we knew we wanted a baby as we wanted a young family. However due to my absent periods, I went to see my gp. He referred me for tests at the hospital where they scanned me to find that I have pcos and endometriosis. They wouldn't do anything further with regards fertility tests until I was 22 as you had to be in a particular age bracket. Iv since been prodded poked and operated on. It's taken 3 years to be referred for the ivf after every test and trial. But I now start my journey and I'm so excited. X

  • Dear Shannon, you sound so encouraging. Thank you for sharing that experience! But still I'm so afraid to find out if I'm not able to get pregnant naturally ... and we've never discussed it ... I mean, I know it might sound stupid, but I feel so, like it's my fault, maybe I've done something wrong, maybe I shouldn't have smoked in my teens ... I don't know, I just want to check it somehow on my own at first. And it seems like I have to go to the hospital anyway, to take all those tests. I thought that maybe there is a shorter way, first small test or something ... my gynecologist told me that there is nothing to worry about, that I might got too stressed so it doesn't happen, that it takes time and all that. She is pretty sure that I'm fine, but I can't get rid of the thought that I'm not. Maybe it is possible just to check it somehow without getting into planning the pregnancy? I just feel so unconfident ...

    Shannon, I really admire your courage and I pray that this journey will be exiting all way long, till it's happy end! Thank you! Send you all my love XXX!!!

  • Not sure why your gynae thinks you're fine if you haven't had any tests done? That sounds rather negligent to me... they can't know that. Also she doesn't know if your husband is fine.

  • Hey, I would maybe speak to you husband about things and then if your concerned I would go and speak to your GP who could arrange a few simple tests and then refer you on if needed.

    Ive always known I wanted a big family and went to my original GP at 21 who basically offered me no support. Once I was married I ended up moving GP's and he was brilliant, I got referred to the fertility clinic at 22. I kept being told 'your young, you've got time on your side'. But I'm now nearly 27 (and yes maybe I am young but why should that matter when people who can conceive naturally can have children at whatever age they want.) and just started my 4th cycle of IVF xx

  • Thank you, darling!

    You are so great! It's just hard sometimes when everyone thinks that it's something unnecessary, I mean - fertile clinics. Like my granny she offers me to pray, says that everything is in hands of God. I love her a lot, but I can't spend my life standing on my knees when there are some better ways to take.

    I just don't know, what am I going to do if my partner won't support me. I mean, how hard is it? Can you go through it alone? And how were you choosing a clinic, by the way?

    I pray for you! You are so great, dear!


  • Thank you. Yeah it can be very hard and a lot of people don't understand just how tough it is - they try to say the right things to be re assuring.

    I didn't have to choose my clinic as mines on the NHS. I would try and speak to your partner again, it is a very emotional journey and not one I would be able to get through without the support of my husband but then everyone is different x

  • Hi..

    The first thing you can do to get pregnant and to have a healthy pregnancy is to be physically healthy. It is important to not be over or under weight, both of which have negative effects on fertility and healthy pregnancies.

    You also want to make sure you are exercising 3 to 4 times a week. Aerobic exercise is essential because it helps blood circulation and improves lung capacity. Incorporating weight bearing exercises helps you gain muscle strength and lose weight easier, while yoga exercises help you work on posture and balance. This all contributes to a healthier you, which increase your chances of conception and a healthy pregnancy.

    Physical health starts with how you treat your body. While exercising during pregnancy is an essential step towards a healthy you, it is more important you are not doing anything counter-productive for fertility and a healthy pregnancy. It is imperative you remove any unhealthy habits or practices that limit or decrease your physical health.

    For maximum health you should eliminate or reduce the following:



    •Recreational Drugs

    •Hazardous Chemicals


    If you have any doubt then please open with your husband and consult a GP. He may suggest you some tests that can give you an idea of your problem .

    You may also want to talk to your healthcare provider regarding any prescription medication you are taking. If you have a regular cycle that occurs every 28 to 32 days, you should be able to track your ovulation using the calendar method. This is simply recording the first day of your last menstrual period on the calendar and finding the corresponding next menstrual period day. Once you have that, you can count back 8 to 18 days and know that ovulation will occur on one of those days. With an average 28 day cycle, ovulation will occur on one day between the 11th and 21st cycle days (29 day cycle, 12-22 days; 30 day cycle, 13-23 days; and so on).

    As soon as you pick up a hormonal surge, have sex that day, plus the next two days. Pregnancy rates peak two days before ovulation said by some specialists .

    Lastly, keep on trying and stay positive. These will bring you closer to achieving your goal. there is no problem without solution, we just don't know where to start.

    Good luck!

    THANK YOU...

  • I really think that you need to open the subject with your husband. You probably will need to go to your doctor about this before too long and you might find that your husband is secretly worrying too. If he agrees to unprotected sex then he's already agreed to the idea of a pregnancy so it's not that big a step to discuss.

    You might be young now, but time goes really fast and if you do need medical help, the waiting lists can be long.

    In the meantime, you could buy some ovulation tests (I've found the cheap ones from eBay work fine) and check that you are ovulating each month. Also, make sure that you're taking folic acid and vitamin D to help ensure a healthy baby if you do fall pregnant.

    Once you do go to the dr, you can expect to have some blood tests and your husband would be expected to do a sperm sample. You might then be offered an internal ultrasound and a dye test where they check your tubes are open. You can't check any of this by yourself but you can check your ovulation for a few months if you're not ready to go to the dr.

    When using ovulation kits, you need to make sure you have sex before you see that positive line, so at first you might want to use the clearblue ones which measure two hormones - they're more expensive but they give you more warning of when ovulation is coming, just until you get the hang of your own personal cycle.

  • I think you should visit a doctor and see what's the reason of your unsuccessful ttc. Maybe there is nothing wrong with your health and you will be relieved to know that everything is fine with you. Even if you have some problems with fertility there are ways of treatment. I would advise you not to waste time because you can make the situation even worse. I know how hard it is when everyone around is getting pregnant. I'm in the same situation and unfortunately I don't know ways how to cope with it. Recently one of my best friends announced her third pregnancy and that almost broke me down. I know you're going through tough times. I hope you will get better and find a way out from your situation.

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