feeling a bit low!

Good morning everyone, I have been feeling a bit low over the last few days. i needed to opened up but it so difficult to talk to the people around me whom seems to think they understand. They have no clue of the ups and down fertility brings. Usually am quite good putting my feelings aside when a friend or a family member announce their pregnancy however i am finding it difficult now. My co worker is pregnant even though we both was trying for a while and we discuss everything in the last 2 year she did not tell me until she was almost four months. When she told me, she did not show no care to how i was feeling. She was chatting away how she is finally a mother and her plans of buying baby items soon. etc. She kept on and on like my situation did not existed. She seems to have forgot the difficulty she been through. Am happy for her but feels like she no longer cares. sorry for ranting on, i just needed to get it off my chest without someone thing i am crazy. baby dust to you all. hope 36.

8 Replies

  • Hi hope36,

    I have been through the same situation and understand you very well. It seems most difficult time in your life. I had a co worker and 2 friends (one off work and other my best friend but lives in foreign country) , we used to discuss all things like baby related, baby planning and all. But when my co worker and off work friend told me they were pregnant almost after 4 months. I was of course happy for them but bit shocked that they didn't share news earlier. But then I convinced myself it's a personal choice really so just ignored it. But my best friend directly sent me her baby picture when she delivered, I was shattered and I cried so much. But it is true we have to get through these situations. It's been almost a year now for these stories but I am still waiting for baby. So just take a chill pill. Don't bother yourself with such things as it won't help having baby. Take care Hun xxx

  • Thank you for your response, you are right. I just needed to vent.

  • Hi I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's so tough. People really don't understand how hard it is unless they've experinced this first hand. Your feelings are normal I have those sort of feelings too if that helps you feel any better.No need to apologise we all need to get things off our chest. And if it's helped saying it here then that's a good thing. As for your friend I don't think she's deliberately trying to upset you. I think she's been caught up with the joy of becoming a mother. Perhaps she didn't think it would ever happen for her and now it has she wants to tell the world her happy news. I can understand that think I would be the same. If she's a really good friend could you not tell her you're finding it difficult, I'm sure if she's a good friend then she'll understand. Especially as she's been through it herself there will be an empathy there. I'm sure she will be horrified that she upset you when you've been there yourself you really get what that is like. My best friend had a baby last year but I refuse to allow that to stop me being her friend,( this vile illness has taken enough off me ) and I've explained my situation to her, and all through she's not been through it she has been so supportive and always ask how things are going for us, and we talk for ages. Your friend could be a huge tower of support for you. Your time will come have hope. It'll all be worth the fight. Hang in there 💗x x x

  • Thank jess, maybe i am over reacting because it is so new. I guess you right,i might tell her the next time, i did not wanted to upset her by telling her how i feel. I needed just to let my pain out because i don't want to upset people around me. Everyone keeping saying it will happen and it have happen for all my friends and family who have been or have not been trying. It can become a bit depressing, feeling happy and supportive all the time for other people when you are suffering. Thank you again, you response has helped. I wish you all the best. x

  • Dear hope36! I wanna support you so much! As this is not the kind of a story unrelated to me..

    I've been married to a wonderful man for 10 years already. After fulfilling all our youth plans we found ourselves once just desiring to have a baby. Two long years we were trying to conceive but nothing happened. So we decided to seek the answer in different fertility centers. The matter turned to be just endo that had to be removed with the help of lapo. Well, the operation was done quickly. And again nothing! We went on with the consultations. After some time we went to Ukraine, biotexcom where we were explained what had caused our failure. Except endo this was poor egg quality, so previously done IUI and ICSI were of no use as well. They reassured us of DE ivf as the only possible option to get pregnant. And did a big work to prepare us both for it, Thanks them for that!

    Only from the third attempt we got pregnant and in nine months gave a birth to a beautiful baby.

    My honey, I just wanna say that everything is possible when you keep a positive outlook and believe in all the best.

    May God bless and help you on this path! X

  • Hello Hop36,

    I'm sorry you're having a bad day. Although it's normal for your colleague to be excited she should really know better and tone it down around you so I understand your frustration. It's hard to keep up the pretence too. I hated pregnancy announcements and generally managed to (just about) hold it together until I had time to cry on my own later.

    I found counselling really helped me to process my feelings and would recommend it if your emotions are overwhelming you at the moment.

    Take care of yourself x

  • I had a similar thing with a good friend as well. I thought she'd told me about her pregnancy at the same time as all our other friends- it didn't take long for me to realise that everyone else had known for ages and I had been deliberately kept in the dark due to my fertility issues. It felt like being back at school- a horrible horrible feeling. She did apologize afterwards and I said it was fine and I understood- but it wasn't fine and if I'm honest I can't see her the same way anymore- even though I'm now pregnant myself as I just wouldn't treat someone that way. This is such an emotional rollercoaster. Be kind to yourself- you deserve some niceness xxx

  • Hi! Kernishp, thank you for understanding and sharing your experience, it meant a lot. I am feeling a lot better now i have opened up. I have been doing fine until this, thanks to all the lovely people on here who helped me to keep strong. I wish you a safe and healthy pregnancy.

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