Feeling a bit blue

[LHow81]

So a close friend of mine has just had a baby and she suffered an early miscarriage before this successful pregnancy so I am really happy for her... But it’s made me really wish we could have another. I am so,so lucky and grateful to have already been able to have my son after 3 fresh failed cycles and our only frozen embryo being our BFP. I will need to do a lot of hard work to lose weight again and I know I’d need donor eggs. Mentally I just don’t think I can go through it all again. Also I suffered from obstetric cholestasis and the doctors told me I would again if we chose to have another. On top of all that I’m not getting any younger! There was no real point to this post I just needed to write it down I think. As always I wish everyone so much luck X

[Lynnr54]

Hi, I think it’s a difficult decision whether or not to have a second after going through IVF for your first, particularly when it was a challenge getting your first so you understand firsthand the potential heartache. Is it worth a chat with your clinic to see whether anything is likely to have changed for you from your first cycle or if there is anything that they can pinpoint which caused your final go to be successful (e.g. you respond better to a frozen cycle so you could freeze all on your fresh cycle)? My clinic told me that the odds of getting pregnant from IVF were better if you have already had one successful round. I know what it’s like to have one baby from ivf and the conflicting emotions of feeling ever so grateful that you have one whilst at the same time wanting another. Luckily I had some Frosties left so the decision was a bit easier for me. Good luck, whatever you decide x

[LHow81 in reply to Lynnr54]

I think the reason the frozen worked was because it was the only one we actually got to blastocyst I never had enough eggs retrieved to make it any to a day 5 before that. My second cycle was great and the 3rd they said it was highly unlikely I’d get a pregnancy from as the quality was very low. I know I’d have to do donor eggs it doesn’t bother me just know it can take longer to find a good match. Thank you for replying x

[Katm123]

I so get this. I have secondary infertility and so our epic journey was to have our second child not our first. I found the journey traumatic, consuming and life changing, and we were very very lucky to have our second. What I would say is, I have recently lost my brother very suddenly at 32. It wasn't until this that I recognised quite how far reaching going through our journey with infertility was. I grieved, really properly grieved and was grief stricken spread out over years. I didn't recognise it as grief until my brother died.

So I guess there is no massive point to me saying all this other than I hear you, I know completely why you feel this way. Good luck with whatever you decide to do from here.xxxx

[Lizzielizzielizzie]

I’m already feeling like this and I haven’t had the first yet! Currently 14 weeks with our last chance and know there almost certainly won’t be another child after this. I never wanted an only but it looks like that is what I’m going to get. Trying to feel grateful to have got this far!

[LHow81]

Congratulations I will be looking forward to seeing a baby pic in the 26 weeks time ish! Xx