Hi ladies , i thought i was dealing with our failed ivf cycle ok untill yesturday (xmas day) i found it hard at the thought we may never have a little one to play and build toys with on christmas day, but i struggled through (with plenty of tears) ...then today my brother told me him and his wife are 3 months pregnant with my lil niece/nephew.. i am over the moon dont get me wrong but i broke down at the fact they couldnt tell me their special news ! I am so hurt and upset over this that he could not tell me ! I wish he told me sooner rather than a few days after my bfn ! But i feel like sometimes i wish nobody knew our struggles to concieve a child because now my family is tip toeing around us ! Just feel like i want to run away for a few days and escape all the self pitty ! X

9 Replies

  • I totally understand you and I know how it feels with the smiles, hugs and looks that say 'I wish you aren't going through this' I hate it too when family & friends give me that but you need to be strong and maybe tell them less. As much as I love my family, I am not telling that we are going for IVF as it's going to put more pressure on us and increase their anxiety.

    Try to see it from their perspective and you will see that you would do the same if you were in their shoes. I hope that next time is good news for you & that we all have a good story to tell in the end x

  • I think sometimes they don't say anything because they don't want to upset you in anyway when they know your struggles I've had people who have found out that they are pregnant and didn't want to say cause they didn't want me to get upset. The way I look at it is I'm happy for them and I do think at times what have I done so wrong to not be able to be a parent seems so easy for everyone else. But then I know our day will come whatever it takes and our baby will be extra special it's made with extra love I was told by a family member god obviously knew how I strong I was to deal with this and knew I'd cope and the patients to wait a little a bit longer. My family have been amazing and they are just as excited as we are about our journey just waiting on a date now. I hope you get your wish and tonight I'll say an extra prayer just for you. Keep your head high and keep going I'm sure the day will come for you just like I'm sure it will for us xx

  • Totally understand - also got a bfn Christmas week - it sucks - feel for you - sending lots of love xxxx

  • Aww sending huge hugs your way it's certainly been a Xmas of tears. Never give up hope. Your day will come and you can give your brother special news of your own. Sometimes friends and family mean well but not being in the situation themselves find it hard to fully understand and may do things that upset us inadvertently. Take time to grieve with your other half and let's all start 2016 looking to the future xxx

  • Thank you , my emotions were all over the place yesturday..i have never felt like that about the ivf situation in my life ! I was at rock bottom but after a good chat with my hubby i have got alot of things off my chest and feel alot better today ! Cant wait to hear off the clinic to see what happens next because i have not spoke to them since i have had my bfn ! I am in limbo . I am over the moon for them but was in shock i suppose because my youngest niece is only 5 months old and they are 3 months pregnant already ! Damn it bugs that its so easy for others incredibly hard for us ! Time to concentrate on getting ready for our next round ! Who knows 2nd time around it may be our turn ! Flossy, i know this christmas has been so hard for you and i hope u and ur DH have been strong for eachother to get through this terrible time for you , big hugs ! 😚 fingers crossed 2016 will being luck to us all xxx

  • All the best. It probably doesn't sound much but they are trying to be sensitive. A friend had to put up with her brother crowing about his wife being eight weeks present to anyone who came through the door one Christmas, knowing full well she had had a missed miscarriage at 10 weeks and then nothing since.

    (that friend has a little girl now....)

  • Thanks sad panda , I know they all mean well, i just dont want this whole situation to change the way people are with us ! Especially didnt want it to take the enjoyment of my brothers good news! That is awful for her ..hope she is ok now x

  • Poor you, dear daydreamer! It's really hard time for you. Don't give up!!!

    I'm not sure you've done only one cycle of IVF. If yes, you have to try more. They say an avarage couple achieves pregnancy after 4-5 cycle generally.

    We are also in the sort of a trouble. Recently I've been diagnosed on luteal phase defect. My ovary doesn't produce enough of the hormone progesterone after ovulation. And it is vital for preparing the uterine lining for a fertilized egg. It seems we cannot conceive naturally and have to seek a medical help.

    Despite you're failure I'm happy for your couple that you've already started the treatment. As for us we're just considering where to apply for the procedure. And we've almost made our mind in favor of Ukrainian fertility center. It seems to have resonable prices and a special guarantee. Hope we'll be helped there.

    Dear daydreamer, most of us are in a fertility trouble. We should be strong and calm to struggle it. I believe one day we will be able to talk about this sort of a deal like a thing from the past.

    Hug you xxx

  • Hi, Daydreamer! It would be great for you just to keep your thoughts away from negative. Dear you, everything will be great. You just need time. I'm not saying you have to leave things on their own.

    Little more than 3 years ago we came with the same problem to biotexcom in Ukraine. We were confused at first to go to a foreign country but found if financially more affordable than applying for treatment in UK.

    To start with we were driven mad with our unexplained infertility. The exact reason couldn't be stated by the consultants. Still in our clinic they insisted on that being a reason in both of us. Actually the only thing was necessary for us - desired pregnancy no matter what the reason was.

    Our first IVF cycle was a failure. Remember it brought us a huge upset( But the experts at the place reassured us it could take at least 3-4 cycles to get the result. So full of hope we went on. Our second cycle was a success. Thanks to it we're loving parents now. Our Pam is 2 yo. She is a pretty kind girl.

    Wish you all luck in the world! May 2016 bring you happiness! Xx

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