Since AF has arrived she’s brought with her all the emotions from when I miscarried last year. I honestly thought I was beginning to cope with them but I feel like I’m right back at the start, struggling to sleep again and my head is always so busy with what ifs.
I spoke to my GP yesterday about getting some counselling and he gave me a number to do a self referral but I’m worried the counsellor won’t ‘get it’. I went to a pregnancy loss group last night run by my local hospital but left feeling worse than when I went. I sat listening to ladies talking about their losses and how now their hospital follow ups were done they were beginning to move on and think about trying again.
I came home and burst into tears, we don’t get to chose if we’ll try next month or in summer and hospital appts will never be over until I’m holding my healthy baby. I feel like I’m stuck in a revolving door, I don’t want to get out cause I’m not ready to give up on our dream but apart from this forum I just feel so alone.
After my first miscarriage I never experienced AF bringing up all these emotions and tbh I’m not sure the best way to cope 😢