So as some will know, we haven't been allowed to start icsi again til Jan. The problem now is my partners business is so incredibly slow, the whole industry has taken a battering. Problem now is I'm worried that if things don't pick up asap we'll have no option but to use the last of our savings to live on over Dec/Jan (we had to use a lot when my partner needed time off after our daughter died, then some agencies wouldn't take him back in fear it was too early and he'd need evac which is expensive, so he's not worked much since) therefore if it continues like this we won't be able to try again til god knows when. I'm so so sad. It wasn't supposed to be this way, our little girl was supposed to be born in a few weeks with a savings account to buy her pretty things. Now we may not even have savings before long. How did things get so very very bad 😢. I fear I'm still no where near ready for my old job (children's hairdresser), and finding a new one is tricky, will have to explain my sick leave......crying in an interview probably isn't helpful to my cause, so work for me is also tough. I'd hoped to have started treatment and maybe even got a bfp before my sick leave expires for a bit of hope for the future. I know I'll be scared, but scared with hope is better than the nothingness.
Sorry for the depressive rant, just difficult to explain this stuff to people. Family and friends get weird about trying again (one suggested we just try naturally, damm, I'd never thought of that!), and the parents from SANDS group who have lost babies are amazing, but they don't get this side of things and talk of ttc is often not appropriate.
Again, apologies for the rant, I'm just feeling so helpless 😢