Its not getting better

Hello everyone hope u are all doing better than me today.. sittin on couch in pain.. no physical but hurting inside.. it didn't get better at all after month of second failed attempt.. I got ppl to talk to and trying to take my mind of it but every second I spend on my own I feel horrible.. am sick of putting brave face on for everyone not to see them hurting while I fight inside.. life is pointless at the moment.. just go to work and home and eat and sleep and struggle and the highlight of the day is when I do level on candy crush.. me and my partner are fine but seem miles away and specialy sexual life changed so much I can't be bothered doing nothing coz looking at it as pointles thing coz can't get pregnant that way anyway..and can't injoy it at all.. am scared if it's going like this it will all come to breaking point.. even when I talk to ppl I start to feel like I annoy them with my problems and just feel so empty and sad lost and horrible today knowing I could of bn pregnant today.. but might as well never be..

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  • Big hugs this journey is a tough one and nobody quite prepares you for the emotional feelings that you get. Have you thought about a councillor or try a hobby something to take your mind of things even for a short time xxx

  • Hi thank u for reply.. to be honest we got no money left for councillor.. and clinic is three hours away for free one x would need holiday to get there.. I try to do stuff but feel like falling more and more into the dark hole actually hate life at the moment.. I know it could be worse but just can't see myself getting out of this with happy ending xx

  • Have you asked your clinic if they offer over the phone sessions. it's not ideal but I know mine did which means you could still talk to someone without the round trip.

    It's hard to stay positive but hang in there and don't give it up hope. Wishing you all the best x

  • Thank you very much someone else said Skype as well would have to find out with clinic x

  • Not sure what to say but really feel for you, it's a world cruel world infertility but keep trying and fighting and hopefully one day it will all be worth it xxx

  • Thank you for your kind words x

  • Hi Miroslava, speak to your GP. They may be able to offer you some help, it sounds like you are really struggling and could be suffering with depression. They could recommend an NHS councilor who is closer to home (there is often a waiting list for this) or talk about medication options. Don't try to deal with it all yourself, ask for some help. Infertility is such a hard thing to deal with and I know how lonely you can feel at times.

    Do you have any pets? I know it sounds silly but looking after a dog or cat can be very relaxing and helps focus some of your energy and love. I adore my cat and she can help me relax, make me laugh and never tells anyone else the secrets I tell her! ;-) I'm not suggesting this can fill the void in your life that a baby could but they are a great distraction from your worries.

    I hope you start to feel better soon. Much love xx

  • Thank very much for reply vickal I really feel at the moment it's either baby way or no way.. can't enjoy anything in life without thinking about bn mum x I will try and get appointment see what they say x really don't want to end taking some medication but as u say I see I can't handle it myself x pet would be lovely but would cost extra money that could be used for getting other stuff on way to our dream x hope us are all doing better and coping better with all this x lots of love

  • Hello, I'm sorry you're having such a difficult time. You've been through a lot and it's only natural that it will take time to heal. Be kind to yourself and your hubby. Even if you don't feel like sex right now make sure you have lots of cuddles.

    If you can't afford to go for counselling there is a supportline advertised on the Infertility Network UK website which I think is free. Otherwise you may be able to ask your GP to refer you to a counsellor on the NHS.

    Take care of yourself x

  • Thank you very much x will defo have to get help scared of feeling like this xx

  • I know how u feel with this I feel the same life does seem pretty pointless I'm stuck in a job I hate but don't want to leave because of all this Ivf people are sick of hearing me talk about it as we'll but they don't get it because they all have their kids, don't feel like your the only one please you are not alone I feel like this every day, message if u want to talk xxxx

  • Thank you abbie103 xx

  • Hi Miroslava

    Just wanted to say I'm thinking of you. Everyone else has said most of any advice I could give. stay strong (much as you're fed up having to, I know) Smile, though your heart is aching. Lots of love xx

  • Thank u so much x it's hard coz when I try to act like nothing is wrong ppl around think I am fine but it even worse that way.. better for them but worse for me coz then when I am alone it hurts twice as much x I will just have to try my best but will defo try and find professional help don't want to go for round 3 depressed xx lots of love back to all of you x

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