Had our PIM meeting at BCRM yesterday. (a meeting with lots of people like us about to go through treatment where they explain the whole process and the BCRM center etc) I thought I would come away with feeling more positive but I dont.
Seeing all the statistics and figures on a power point just highlighted for me the struggles we will have through this process compared to younger couple (I have low ovarian reserve low follies blah blah)
I just cant seem to snap out of being negative. I really want to be positive but I just cant! I think im protecting myself from being hurt if it doesn't work but I really want to stop feeling so down about it!
Ive had a cry at work this morning and expecting another 'moment' as my drugs are arriving today at work some time.
Im feeling rather overwhelmed. the meeting last night was good as it was informative and the team there certainly know what they are doing and the filled me with confidence. But the fact of the matter is I just cant help thinking im not going to be able to give them the eggs they need to work their magic!
How can I snap out of this? Im doing acupuncture as I have seen everywhere it can help and be relaxing...... Relaxing???!! I don't enjoy having it done?! am I the only one that feels this way? I mean its ok I don't hate it but I could live without it and certainly wouldn't bother going if I wasn't going through IVF?! apparently I am responding really well to it and I will keep going but I read so many people saying they find it so relaxing?! It made be laugh when I said I am a bit stressed with things as you do and then she put a needle between my eyes to help me with that?! it actually made me giggle as I went cross eyed looking at this thing in my head! - did i feel better after?? .....maybe from the giggle?!
Another thing on my mind is my partner. He faints. a lot. at appointment's and even yesterday in the meeting with 40 people in the room!! bless him hes not good in hospitals but i thought he would be ok in the 'learning room'! I worry hes bottling things up but being a typical bloke he says hes fine.
God help us if we actually end up giving birth!!!
Sorry for the rant, funny now ive typed this I actually feel a bit better!!
lots of luck to you all x
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Blondyboo
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Hi Blondyboo. Well, at least you’ve had a good rant and managed to express your feelings, which is always good to do. You mentioned being stressed, but imagine how you would be if you weren’t having your acupuncture?? Its making you giggle if nothing else! The team at your clinic seem to be on the ball too. I wouldn’t worry too much about your partner either, as an ex midwife, they rarely faint, because they are too wrapped up in what’s going on! At least you’ve got the ball rolling now with your drugs being delivered today, so all I can do is to wish you well with this cycle and for a positive outcome. Diane
It's really hard trying to relax...and even worse when someone tells you to relax! 😉
We were given all the stats too and at 33% success rate it does make you start to doubt and feel negative, but you have to try and believe that all will go ok.
I can highly recommend BCRM and have found everyone there wonderful. We are hoping to start our third (& final) go at ICSI there in the next few months.
It's good to let your emotions run wild with tears, rather than bottling it up. Try to take it one day at a time. I found it helpful keeping a diary of our journey and writing stuff down to just get it out of my head!
I had acupuncture and I am one of the people who really did enjoy it and I often fell asleep during sessions! I have heard it's really good during IVF especially the day before and straight after ET. So, I would try to stick it out if you can.
But, I think it would be good to try something else to help you relax as well. I really found tai chi helped (or you could try yoga or Pilates). I watched lots of box sets too (nothing too complex/serious tho)! Lastly, I really found counselling helped relax and feel calmer about the situation.
Good luck with your cycle! Remember everyone going through IVF is struggling to conceive so those stats represent people with problems (like yours) who have managed to conceive in the end!
I hated acupuncture. Every minute of it! My acupuncture lady didn't think I was responding well to it, so she added electricity, so it felt like a tens machine with prickles! I only had 1 egg that round (#6), but it worked! She also did cupping, which left circle like bruises... Maybe I chose a bad clinic!
And my hubby isn't good with blood either, so I was on my own for injections and he had to be helped out of the egg collection room and as I wasn't put under, I walked out into the recovery room and met him. He threw up not me! Poor guy, I love him, but he does not do well with stress!
It is not easy, especially when you have to be the brave one too.
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Fertility Clinics in Bristol
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