Arrggghh is the only way i can express how i feel

[Mellisa1983]

Hi everyone as you can probably tell from the title im not feeling particularly good today.

Firstly some good news i have been on buserelin injections for the past 3 weeks and today was told that all was well so i have been put on the progynova tablets for a week All this is leading towards a frozen egg transfer which if all goes to plan will be happening within the next couple of weeks.

Now for the news which has made me so angry it took me nearly the entire day to actually calm down. I have been having ivf with homerton hospital in london for the past year. I started this treatment absolutely clueless, and have always accepted everything that i was told by the clinic. However whilst being on this forum i realised that for example a hsg test was not done to determine if my tubes were blocked. So today i asked my consultant why i was never told or offered this test, his answer was "did you never have one done in the past?" and i just gave him an annoyed glare and his final responce was "i can have one arranged if you like" i just couldnt believe how inconpitent a clinic could actually be. I started getting angry at this point..... and started becoming quiet firm with my words and stated why this test hadnt been done in the beginning and why i was diagnosed with unknown infertility when all the necessary areas were not checked, and maybe all i needed was a simple procedure to unblock a tube so i could conceive naturally. His answer was "even if your tubes are blocked we cannot open them so ultimately you would have had to go through the ivf treatment anyway.

Is this really true? Has anyone on here had blocked or damaged tubes and their clinic actually told them that they cannot open them. I have absolutely no faith in anything this clinic tells me anymore so i just want to make sure that they are presenting me with facts. Why would they not unblock a tube especially since i am receiving full funding!!.

Im sorry to go on but im just frustrated today i feel really let down and now feel angry and hopeless to be frank.

Thank you for reading and let me know of your opinions please. Xx

[EmmaT88]

Hi Mellisa1983!

I know exactly how you feel, I had to fight for my HSG test, and even when I was told I was allowed to have the test, they dismissed it as if I was over reacting... they never read my previous notes to realise that the chance of blocked tubes were very high.

I had the test done and sure enough both my tubes are blocked, I was advised that they are blocked beyond repair due to scar tissue, and no point in trying anything to clear them as they will cause more damage than good. However there are lots of types of blocked tubes as I have heard from this forum, so they should give you the chance to find out!

Now we are going through the IVF process and finally being treated properly, were people know what is wrong with me, and don't ask stupid questions.

I hope you get the answers you want, but if they think your tubes may be blocked with scar tissue they may be right in that they cannot be cleared, but I think its unfair for you not to know?

Anyway, not sure if this has helped at all, but let me know if you want any more information!

Good luck for the future, and I hope you get some answers!

Emma xx

[Mellisa1983 in reply to EmmaT88]

Thank you for your reply emma, it seems that this has been happening to alot of women, what infuriates me is that there are women who have minor blockages in their tubes which can be resolved via a simple surgery so why not give women that option instead of giving them a diagnosis which is not reflective of their condition at all.

Surely a female should have these tests done way before the ivf treatment itself so that she has an understanding of why she has not been conceiving naturally. I mean i dont know how anyone else feels but i would want to know the cause of my infertility instead they do a simple blood test and a internal scan and give you a label....thats it!. i mean the answer i got today was shocking... How can a medical professional ask me if i want to have my tubes looked at surely this should be the protocol, they should be doing this without waiting for me to ask for it. So had i not asked it would never have been done and i wouldnt even know that it was important. Most of the women who start this treatment have no idea what they should be doing or what tests should be done and so on. So why arent these so called ivf doctors not informing us correctly.

anyway im sorry for giving everyone a headache i just feel like i need to get this out . Xxx

[EmmaT88 in reply to Mellisa1983]

Not at all vent away!! I did for ages I even complained to our hospital as I felt the same as you. If I didn't fight then I would have never of known why I can't have children with out anyone even bothering to find out why. Its silly that there is not more care taken in this area and we are made to feel silly if we want to know more!! Its awful!! I agree with all the points you have made!! Some ladies could be cured easily with the detection of blocked tubes but it's not being offered enough.

It helped me knowing why so I hope you can find out too!

Emma

[Mellisa1983 in reply to EmmaT88]

Do you know what the issue is emma none of the people who work there have the slightest clue to how it feels to not be able to have the one thing that you would literally give what ever you can to have. They are just treating us like we are their job thats it! The most important thing for them is not to pass the 20 minute slots they have for each patient so they can go home at the end of their shift. How can they understand how painfull this is for any of us. Its just sad but it is what it is

[EmmaT88 in reply to Mellisa1983]

Yes I agree, there was never any compassion during any of my appointments, until I reached our dedicated IVF unit, and from then on I feel like I am being taken seriously and that this is a big deal. If you want the dye test you should push for it, we all have the right to know what is wrong with us, especially if it means there is a chance of fixing it.

I am fine now and my anger has calmed down, now I feel like we are moving forward.

Emma x

[Hopeful1982]

Hi Mellisa, this whole journey is really stressful and really emotional so I understand you feeling angry and frustrated. I'm not sure why the clinic wouldn't offer you an HSG. My husband and I paid to have private tests (as the NHS waiting list in our area is pretty long) and while the clinic were great they very much painted the picture of the HSG as optional. We wanted to keep trying naturally for a while so for me it was important to have this so we knew it wasn't pointless to keep trying!

I think deciding to undergo fertility treatment is a huge step and one you want to make fully informed. Can you have the HSG during your treatment (before transfer?). It might give you peace of mind.

Either way, I really hope you're able to relax as feeling stressed and angry isn't the best way to feel undergoing fertility treatment.

Take care of yourself x x x

[Mellisa1983 in reply to Hopeful1982]

Thanks hopefull for your reply but Its impossible not to be stressed when you have to rely on people who clearly have no clue about something that is so important for you. I have been going through this process for the past year i just dont understand why they would think that its ok to dismiss a hsg test. I mean its ok if you can efford to go private and have things done but what if your only chance of ivf is through the nhs?. If i hadnt come this far in my treatment believe me i would have gone private as well....which is what i intend to do straight after this frozen embryo transfer. I have just lost all faith in this clinic and the nhs alltogether. They are making it increasingly impossible to remain positive :-). I dont think that its ok to do things 50% when there is ample opportunity to do it 80% or 90%. I will be complaining to the right places to get my voice heard if not for me for other women who have no alternative but the nhs for ivf.

i wish you all the best for your treatment as well... i hope we will all get that little bundle of joy at the end and i wont be so angry at the nhs anymore :-)) tace care x

[Hopeful1982 in reply to Mellisa1983]

Hello, I know we are so fortunate to have been able to pay for our tests privately. The whole thing is so incredibly stressful and I was so glad to have those tests and for the peace of mind they gave. I've not had any private treatment as we're waiting (and waiting and waiting!) to have IVF on the NHS too.

I get angry, frustrated and upset too but trying my best to relax as I think that gives my body the best chance of conceiving.

I hope this FET works for you.

Best of luck x

[pm27]

We paid for private tests after trying unsuccessfully to book the HSG at our local NHS hospital after seeing the NHS consultant.

The private clinic did it as part of their standard assessments.

I felt angry that we had to pay out a lot of money for the tests after waiting over a year to see the NHS consultant, who basically told us to go private. I think we were considered very low priority due to age and we knew we wouldn't qualify for IVF on the NHS. The tests were all done very quickly at the private clinic and were very different to what the NHS consultants had guessed at.

You shouldn't have to ask for this test, it should be part of the assessment. But if your hospital is anything like mine you could wait months to get an appointment as they only have a certain number of slots per month and probably too many ladies chasing those appointments.

You should follow the complaints procedure, if not for yourself but for other ladies who don't know this is a basic and important test.

[Mellisa1983 in reply to pm27]

Hi pm27 it has been a long annoying experience i must say but i will be making complaints to the right people in order to sort things out. Its just a shame to hear that so many women are having these issues...there is clearly a major problem. Anyway i think i have given everyone a headache with the on going moaning about this issue. however i have no intention of letting this go.

I wish you all the best for your treatment thanks for your reply xx

[WeeMrsH]

Hope you're feeling a little better Mellisa, relax and look after yourself. Have you been feeling ok on the latest drugs? xx

[Mellisa1983 in reply to WeeMrsH]

Hi weemrsh, i havent been too bad to be honest i mean my tummy has really gone down so the pregnant look is dissapearing which is good :-)). I mean im still doing the injections but only 0.3ml and i havent had much of a reaction to the tablets accept headaches which arent too bad at the moment. How are you getting on? Are you feeling any better? Xx

[WeeMrsH in reply to Mellisa1983]

Yes better this week- fatigue has eased a lot, just a bit emotional this week lol. Look after yourself xx

[Katrina13]

It amazes me when I read these posts and also it makes me grateful for the fact that I seem to have had a good NHS consultant. All of these tests were done for me as matter of routine, and I had an op to repair my tubes. Unfortunately I still did not conceive naturally and went onto IVF. during the ivf he spotted that my tubes may have re closed, and insisted on another HSG to check. He was right as I had hydrosalpinx and then insisted on me having the tubes removed before even thinking about FET, as liquid in the tubes can affect the success rate. My FET was thankfully successful. The above all took a long time (3 years) but it was the right thing to do.

I would insist on another opinion. It is standard practice not to do IVF without checking if tubes are blocked or not. if they are, there are many things they can do to help.

Sometimes th doctors are so focussed on just doing ivf that they neglect other options.

[Mellisa1983 in reply to Katrina13]

Hi katrina...i think you havw been extremely lucky to get such an understanding consultant...... my experience along with alot of womens hasnt been great to be honest.

instead of making this ivf process alot easier they are just increasing my anxiety levels to bw honest. Now im in the process of worrying about the state of my tubes. If the nhs waiting list is long for a hsg test then im not even gonna bother...im going to go private..had enough of having my time wasted by clueless individuals :-(.

It seems your treatment is pretty well handled i can only wish you a good outcome i hope it all goes well. Xx

[Katrina13 in reply to Mellisa1983]

He wasn't understanding as such as lacked in 'bedside manner' to say the least, but he insisted on operating by the book: which is to have HSG and tubes in a good state before any IVF ('tubal patency').

I never had to wait long for an NHS HSG, in fact the wait was usually down to timing around my period.

If I was in your position I would firstly be chasing them like hell for an HSG, and also ask the doctor outright what is his process in terms of ensuring tubal patency and no hydrosalpinx before IVF. If you don't like his answer, then I would ask to see another doctor or switch to another clinic: this is your right on the NHS. I would also go to see your GP and voice your concerns to them and ask for their support.

Do you have any reason specifically to worry about your tubes? Any history of endometriosis or chlamydia?

[Mellisa1983 in reply to Katrina13]

The thing is i waited nearly 6 months to get the first appointment anyway... instead of making me wait they could have done an hsg test during that period. Now however they cannot do oen because im on meds to have a frozen embryo transfer. If for example this transfer fails or ends up in misscarriage god forbid i dnt even know how long its going to take for them to book a hsg test for me. The consultant told me to ring them on the first day of my period and book a date but if they give me a slot for like 6 months later i wont bother waiting i will go straight to a private clinic.

The only reason why i want my tubes checked is because they havent checked them and normally during ivf they have to. Im worried about.my tubes because i have been suffering from painfull periods for years and although i was always told this was normal i have read recently that blocked tubes can cause heavy painfull periods, so now im just worried that maybe there is a blockage or that they are damaged.

My so called consultant said to me "even if they are blocked we do not open them" i dont believe that either so now im researching to see if this is really the case.

Sorry for going on and on....

[samrakkar]

yeah darl - apparently i was told they dont do the HSG and they dont unblock tubes either grrr x

[Mellisa1983 in reply to samrakkar]

Hsg they have to do no such thing as that . As part of the ivf treatment they have to eliminate all possible issues including blocked tubes...if i was you i would go back and demand a hsg test if they refuse speak to the head consultant. On the nhs if you dont ask you dont get thats the attitude they have. They wont even tell you what tests you have the right to do or not its asthough its coming out of their own pockets seriously. I work i pay my taxes and this to me is discusting beyond words!!!!. If you just go there and nod at everything they say or claim you will end up with nothing believe me.