Still feeling low

We had our failed Ivf in May and is till feel quite low, I'm trying to stay posative but it's just so hard. I still feel quite bloated and find it hard to lose weight as well, I usually lose it quite quickly and feel great. Does anyone know when I will start to feel normal again and will start losing weight again, and also how long it could take to feel posative again? I'm usually quite a bubbly person and upbeat but my husband works away, and I don't want to burden my gorgeous 16 year old daughter who I love dearly. Xx

9 Replies

  • Hi Gill, I felt the same after my failed ivf in April. I was still sore and bloated for ages and my periods were up the wall, I also had a really windy stomach tmi! Im like you I'm normally a bubbly person but it knocked the stuffing out of me! I even kept thinking I could still be pregnant even though I knew I wasn't. I felt better about 3 months later when my cycle got back to normal and I decided to get my physical excersise back on track (long dog walks)! I've just had a natural frozen transfer so I'm praying that It things work out this time! I waited months before trying again and I know that time helped to settle my mind again. Hope you are feeling better soon x

  • Hi mai5ie thank you for support i will take my pooch out on long walks he loves it and also helps clear your mind plus excercise. Wishing you all the luck in the world with your naturel frozen transfer xxx

  • Hi. My second icsi failed in June and like you can't help but feel low. We can't do it again as my eggs are rubbish so it's the end of a dream that I've had for many years. My counsellor said it's a grieving process so you have good and bad times. My bad days seem to be more often than not at the moment. I have to work with pregnant patients and sometimes feel like shouting at them about how they should be so grateful they are pregnant when they are moaning. I've managed to loose a bit of weight but keep comfort eating. I think it will take you a long as it will take to deal with it. Everyone is different. We are starting to look at planning our wedding but I can't get excited because I've already had one dream shattered, I can't handle another. Take care and good luck x

  • Hi pumpkin 1 so very sorry to hear your sad news I know it's awful trying to stay posative especially when you have all these pregnant woman around I keep seeing them everywhere. Wishing you the very best of luck for your wedding and you never know you just might still get your dream we are stronger than you think xxx

  • Hi pumpkin1.

    Sorry to hear of your troubles. It's a massive emotional roller coaster all of this, and I do know how you feel. You just wonder if you will ever feel happy and normal again don't you....

    I just wanted to message you as I read that you won't be trying another cycle because your eggs are rubbish

    I hope you don't mind me messaging you but has anyone in your clinic suggested a donor egg to you? I sadly can't have any tries using my own eggs as 1 ovary is badly squashed underneath my bowel and the other ovary ruined by adhesions from endometriosis. My egg count was too low as well. I'm 41. I was basically told there's no point going through and paying for IVF using my own eggs and if I wanted to be a mum I would have to have a donor egg

    After A LOT of soul searching and research I decided to go for it as it was basically the only option I had left - I just had to give it a try and I really wanted a family. I'm one week away from transfer and getting a bit nervous now!

    So just to mention this to you, as it may be another option for you to consider. It obviously is a big thing to get your head around, but please feel free to message me if you want any further information about it. I just wanted to bring it up as it may give you another chance to have the child you so desperately want.

    Remember, being a mum is not just about the child having your genes. It will have your partner's genes. And you will grow it, give it your blood and oxygen. Breast feed it (sorry to keep using "it"!) And the child WILL be like you , because you will be it's mum FOREVER!

    Take care, and don't be too hard on yourself. Xx

  • Just give yourself and your body time to heal and get back to 'normal'. IVF is a HUGE thing for your body to go through, and the drugs are very powerful, so your body just needs time to remember and re-set etc!

    It's important to remember in all these emotional times to be kind to yourself. Respect your body for what it is trying to do. Don't hate it for what it can't do at the moment! It took a long time for me to get in this head space, so I do know how you feel, honestly.

    Don't be too hard on yourself, you will gradually start to lose weight again when your body is back to normal. Unfortunately we have to let our bodies do what they have to do and you have been through a lot lately. I get frustrated some days, the skinny Jean days! with my wobbly bloated belly from the hormones I'm on (I'm a week away from transfer using a donor egg! Yikes!) And I've been exercising and eating really well but my tummy stubbornly won't go down! But I can't get too annoyed as I have to think of the big picture

    Hard though. My thoughts are with you and I really hope the next time it works for you

    Take care xx

  • Hello hope 23 thank you for your support it is so hard this just made me cry as i am feeling low still but i know we can be strong again and feel like ourselves again. The hard thing is my hubby works away and looks great as he's in the gym every day so i feel like i want to look good for him when he's home, i know he loves me for who i am and supports me so much it's just so hard. Your so right i need to stop being so hard on myself as you said our bodies do what they do. Wishing you all the luck in the world with your transfer and you get your dream xxx

  • Thanks Gill. Yeah fingers crossed for next week. All very scary

    As you say yr husband loves you for who you are. He knows you can lose it and he knows yr struggling emotionally.

    I'm sure you're fully aware of how to lose weight so I won't patronise you! But my motto has become, 80% good and 20% bad. So I do my best all week to eat no sugar, crisps, carbohydrates etc, all the nice things! Then at the weekend I'll have a few treats, so a few drinks, or big bacon butty!! So then I know come Saturday I can have something of what I crave but come Monday back to strict healthy eating again.

    It's harder when you're feeling so low I know. But I definitely lost weight doing this, and it felt nice to treat myself at the weekend. Jillian Michaels 30 day shred is a great Dvd too! Only 20 mins a day, and not really hard but you certainly feel good afterwards!

    Message me any time x

  • Thank you both for your kind words and support. We thought about egg donation but it's just too expensive for us at about £10,000 a go. That amount would pay alot towards our wedding lol. We can't go through the heartbreak of it not working again either. Our consultant didn't recommend egg donation either but we had already decided that wasn't a choice for us. We have talked about adoption but we want to get married first and enjoy each other before we look into that more closely. Good luck with your transfer and the dreaded 2ww hope23. You are right gill76. We are stronger than we think. X

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