Still feeling so hormonal

[gill76]

Hi everyone I'm just after a bit of advice, we had a failed Ivf in May and I'm still feeling awful, physically and emotionally. Last night I had about an hrs sleep plus didn't help that in the afternoon I had caffeine, I felt like I was so hyperactive and wired like I was very agitated. I'm due on on the 26th October so think it may be that but just can't help negative thoughts and feeling miserable, does anyone again please know when I will feel ok again? Will going on star flower oil once a day 1000mg help me as I fell like my pmt is very very bad, I even cried in work last week and still have my weight to lose which doesn't help. Please can anyone recommend what to do or give some advice, thank you xxxx

[WeeMrsH]

Hi Gill, I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling like this. I've not experienced IVF yet (waiting to start) so can't advise from that perspective, however I know what that feels like to be agitated, anxious and wired all the time and it affecting your sleep- I was like that for quite a while bout this time last year. I was crying every day, worse during pmt when I would struggle it get myself out of it, and it affected work with poor concentration etc. anyway the point if this is not to make you feel worse! Just to explain you're not alone. Have you had or seen about any form of counselling? I eventually went to my GP, and was referred to a cognitive behavioural therapist, which is basically talking therapy where they teach you ways to manage your worries, how to change your thinking patterns which is meant to then alter your behaviour, and they give you relaxation techniques etc- i was sceptical at first because the cause of our anxieties are quite specific and I thought it would never help, but it did. I'm not saying it will work to help you come to terms with difficulty conceiving, but helps you process your thoughts better. It really helped me. Anyway hon hope you feel better soon- here any time if you want to PM xxx

[MrsBMrsB]

I'm most definitely not a doctor so I can't say for sure, but I would have thought that the physical/hormonal effects of your treatment would have worn off by now, although like Wee Mrs H I haven't yet had treatment so don't know that for sure! It sounds to me that you might be a bit depressed? I think a failed cycle must be so tough to deal with and of course everyone reacts differently. You are in a difficult place at the moment, a sort of limbo, and that can't help but have an effect on anybody! Your clinic may be able to help you with some advice or if not I would try your GP.

In fact I would try your GP anyway.... I have tried to get over feeling like a hypochondriac by going to the doctor for what seems like not much to you. My GP once saved my life because I called him on the out of hours service about what seemed like bad period pains (my mum made me call!), to which I thought he'd just say "don't be silly and take a paracetomol", but he asked a few questions and then sent an ambulance because I had a ruptured ovary and was bleeding internally and didn't know it! Doctors are trained to recognise the signs of things that we think of as fairly normal but which aren't actually normal. I just personally think that if I was feeling as unhappy and reacting as unusually to things as you seem to be from your message I would go to my GP who should be able to help you, and if they can't they can send you to another health professional who can!

Also, counselling is great.. I can't recommend it enough. I had specialist bereavement counselling when my father passed away last year. I didn't react in the typical way that I thought a bereaved person would, but I was certainly feeling very odd. For the first two weeks I felt almost euphoric, and then suddenly one morning I couldn't get out of bed. Everyone reacts to traumatic things in a completely different way. The counselling I had help a lot and I am fine now. When I was in that moment I felt I was just being silly and should pull my socks up and get on with it, and then felt a failure because I couldn't. Looking back on it from my perspective now I was clearly grieving very hard but I didn't see that from inside the moment. I can only see it now that I'm outside of it. Does this make sense? I hope so! Anyway the counselling helped me sort through a lot of issues and help me get back to my normal self. It helps if you have a specialist counsellor, so mine was a specialist bereavement counsellor and you can get specialist fertility counsellors too.

Also this forum is here and you know everyone on here will support you, always.... I hope you feel better soon, but don't expect too much of yourself. Don't trivialise your feelings, either physical or emotional. If it was your best friend describing the feelings you have described you would take them seriously, wouldn't you? Good luck xxx

[Hidden in reply to MrsBMrsB]

Hello Gill76. First of all sorry for your failed. I know how that feels had four all ready. The first one I had fail I was only sad for a couple of days. As I knew we had more goes. It got harder. But never lasted more than a week. But I have a fantastic support group. So that might help you. As it does seem a long while for you to be like this. Not saying it's wrong. Just a bit concerned. I would go to gp and explain. Or ask for counsellor at your clinic. Hope you feel better soon. ️Xx

[Louiemac73]

I would agree with other posters. It would seem to be some kind of depression. I have experienced it first hand and recognise some symptoms. IVF is a tough journey and when it fails, it is horrific (in my experience, anyway). It took me a long time to "get over" it and whilst I feel better now (I'm on 2ww for my second and final cycle) this week would have been due date for first if it had worked out and so I'm having to manage things. Your doctor will be well placed to help you. When I saw my doctor, I felt stupid and got really agitated whilst waiting. Once in there, I sobbed everything out and he immediately signed me off work and recommended counselling to help my problems. Please go and ask for help. Although it is awful, there can be some improvement and you sound like you need it. Good luck to you x

[gill76]

Thanks ladies for your help and support, I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow at the docs for as soon as I can get one, wishing you all lots of luck for the future and take care xxxx

[MrsBMrsB]

That's great Gill, look after yourself xx

[DianeArnold Partner Nurse Fertility Network UK]

Hi gill76. I do hope all went well with your GP and that he/she is able to support you in some way. Hope you don’t mind, but you did mention that you have some weight still to lose. Well done with any weight loss so far! I am certain that you are doing everything that you can to lose weight, but whatever you are doing, whether at a slimming club or on your own, make sure that you are keeping a record of your losses, however small, so that you can prove you are trying. A practice nurse at your GP practice would weigh you and keep a record too, if you don’t want to join a slimming club. Swimming, if possible, is good too. If you can afford to attend a fitness centre, then speak to one of the advisors. He/she will be able to help you with your diet requirements and also the correct exercising that you require. I struggled for a long time with a lot of weight, but fortunately have now got my BMI right down. Good luck with it all! Diane

[gill76]

Thank you Diane I'm still struggling trying to lose the weight, and still feeling pretty low. My husband is not being very supportive at the moment either so were not getting on very well, I've not been feeling very well the past three days either which doesn't help, and I'm feeling exhausted. I just feel very lost at the moment and haven't been the docs yet as been quite busy, I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow for as soon as possible, I'm sure he/she will be able to help. I've just started taking vitb6 to help with hormone blance and nervous system. As soon as I feel up to it I will start excercising like taking my pooch out, and at home. Thanks for your help xxx