Why is 40 considered to be the end?

I was just browsing on here and in SO SO many posts, people talk about how it 'must be game over now that they are 40', or 'not long left to try as they are 40 in 2 years', and such like.

Why are we all conditioned to think that it is game over for IVF once we reach our 40th birthday? Many clinics NHS and private continue to offer IVF later than this, and many women get pregnant later than this.

Why does everyone assume that once you hit that milestone you're suddenly over the hill? Are we unable to be good mothers once we have some grey hair??

I am approaching 40 and having a FET in November. My consultant reminded me that success rates are down to the age and quality of the eggs - my eggs are therefore only 38!

It just frustrates me to come on here and see so many people assuming that I have no chance because of my age.. I am fit and healthy, please don't write me (and yourselves!) off just yet.. :)

9 Replies

  • I agree totally macerpops.. I know so many women who have had babies late 30s early 40s...My late Gran had my mum at 40 bearing in mind this in late 50s...with no ivf or medical help available in those days...Keep the faith..women can and do have babies later in life..there's so much drs can do to help these days..X

  • One of my employers thought she had hit 'the change' at 46 or 47... Imagine her surprise when she found out that she was pregnant as she thought that boat had sailed! She had tried for years and gave up... I think we need to look at individual circumstances and medical history, rather than a number.

  • I had ivf at 39 and had my daughter at 40 so I put statistics to the side and concentrated on becoming a success story :) good luck x

  • Ditto. I'm 40 about to start my 2nd cycle. We started to try when I was 37 not far of 38. Like most women assumed the problem was me!! However my bits and bobs are fine it's my partner who has the low sperm count bless him. But even then I don't think it sunk in with him until our last consultation before treatment where the consultant made a point about my test results being great and that double figure on my AMH was great for a 39 yr old but ICSI only option due to his count.

    What annoys me is that if this treatment works and people get wind that it's an IVF baby (they won't) not that I ashamed etc but nobodies bloody business, the assumption will be, well you are an old girl so no surprise you couldn't do it naturally.

    Like everyone I have friends older then me that got pregnant naturally with out any issues and so do many women.

    But just by the nature of this forum if you are on here there is a fertility problem regardless of your age, and when your just getting older you can't help but get more anxious that time may be running out. The fact that once you hit 40 the NHS shut their door doesn't help. So now I am the big 40 I don't know if my age is a factor with my failed first cycle, but fingers crossed for the next one and good luck to everyone regardless of age.

  • Thanks ladies, makes me feel better. My AMH is 30 and FSH 7.2. The clinic told me they're so good I should have a plaque on the wall! My issue is my tubes (now removed), so nothing to do with my age. We got 16 eggs at my first IVF, and 8 blasto's: we are looking good to go now with our six frosties. All the women in my family menopause late: my mum got pregnant at 48.

    It just upsets me to come on here and see so many people writing off the slightly older ladies. The world is a different place now, lots of women have kids later and menopause is becoming later on average. Statistics are constantly changing.

    Some days I look in the mirror and see grey hair and wrinkles and get upset, thinking why the hell am I trying to have a baby at my age. Then I remind myself of everything I can offer a child, and that my age makes no difference to that.

  • Look at Halle Berry It isn't over by a long shot. Nhs &&$$$ me over when I was 40 didn't even give me hope just dismissed & discharged me from Manchester! Then did that embolisation so no periods now so I am out of luck plus now over 45 but for all you still having periods GO for it don't ever let nhs get you down!!! Nhs are just FOR benefiters so GO put a spanner in the works! I'll be right behind you::))

  • Hi maccerpops you got blastocysts frozen which proves you are still fertile, we got 8 blastocysts too while being just turned 30 so if you got the same result isn't that not saying something, keep the faith xx

  • I'm so glad to see I'm not the only one who thinks that! I'm 42 and starting early menopause, but my sister donated her eggs, which have been frozen, and I'm hoping to start again in a few months. I don't think of myself as old, and hate hearing that being over 40 is old, and more or less past it! I hate keep hearing about people my age becoming grandparents as well. I thought alot more women were getting pregnant later in life anyway? I'm really glad I saw this, I was starting to feel alone, as everyone I know has had kids when the were in their 20's , so that doesn't help either.

  • nhs in my area do not offer any ivf after your 40th birthday and a lot of people including myself cannot afford it privately

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