I am 42 and recently gave birth through a c-section to my beautiful baby boy.
I am so happy my baby is here. However, the toll of the ivf and fertility journey, plus c-section and breastfeeding difficulties has really had an impact on my mental health.
I am abroad in a non English speaking country, but looking for a telephone or remote counselling service to help with post natel depression. I understand recommendations should be DM only but would appreciate suggestions to get someone to talk too quickly.
If anyone has gone through anything similar especially when trying to breastfeed I would be grateful if you shared your story.
I share a picture of my tiny "baby model" at 3 days old, taken by the hospital photographer. He has already become my world so I want to be at my best for him.
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Aquaharmony
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I found it very hard after my boy was born for all the same reasons. I spoke to my GP who was useless and I sought out a private counsellor - most will do sessions over zoom or the phone if you can’t get there in person.
Thank you, it is hard at the moment but I am hopeful if I can get some counselling it will help. Not sure which online platform is best but I can see there seem to be alot of options. Did you find the counselling helped you?
In all honesty not really. Time helped a lot. Friends who were also struggling or had struggled helped too. People often don’t open up about how hard life after birth is, but once I started telling people so many people came out with similar stories which made me feel less alone.
PPD is so hard to really get to grips with because you’d expect it to be hard with all the hormones and a completely new life, but you also beat yourself up because it was so hard to get there in the first place, you feel like you should be enjoying every minute.
What helped me was to try to understand that one of the reasons I found it so hard was that I was so very unprepared. I’d spent the whole of TTC / IVF / Pregnancy not being sure we’d ever actually have a baby, that I just kept my head in the sand and didn’t allow myself to believe it would happen. So I did a lot of reading to try and find out what I was actually dealing with!
Thank you for sharing that with me it helps and I think maybe trying to get help from friends and family might help alot and be available more quickly. Certainly just having some responses on here has helped me feel less alone and helped to give me a bit of perspective.
I went through very similar when my son was born. I hadn't properly connected to him because I just hadn't really believed everything would be ok and he would arrive safely. I had lots of problems with breastfeeding (latch because of missed tounge tie, supply problems) and put far too much pressure on myself because of that. I managed to get counselling through the local NHS maternity service, definitely recommend speaking to someone. Maybe the midwife can help refer you? I know it might not be right for everyone to switch to formula, but honestly the relief I felt when I just decided to stop trying to breastfeed (which in reality wasn't working) was immense and helped a lot. Wishing you well and feel free to reach out if you need any support.
My baby was tounge tied but they picked up on it quickly at the hospital and he got it cut when he was 3 days old. This helped but I am now playing catch up and the crazy 8 minimum feeds and pumping routine, plus power pumping is just so hard. He is on combination formula to make up my shortfall, but I do question if it is all worth it. Maybe others here can relate now I have him I want to do everything possible for him and there is a huge stress to breastfeed that I feel and has very much been encouraged by everyone medically I have been seen by.
Yes absolutely you feel you want to do the best for him but ultimately for me the best for my baby was making sure my mental health was stable. I was so stressed out at every feed and worried about pumping and not getting enough rest in between that I wasn't in the best place to care for him. There are obviously benefits to breastfeeding but my son is a thriving 16 month old now so I don't regret at all giving up. Do what is right for you, not trying to sway you either way just sharing my experience as a lot of my low feelings post natal were caused by my feeding stress.
Also to echo millbanks, those early days are HARD and no one prepares you for it. The constant feeding, changing, crying is intense. But it will get better I promise. Now I'm through it I always say to my friend who are expecting that the first 6 weeks are just survival. Just do what you have to do to get through it. Baby will eventually go longer between feeds, you'll get more rest and feel more human again.
Thank you, I am on the fence but don't feel ready to give up just yet. Logically I know whether I breastfeed or not my baby will be OK. I think it is more societal pressure. Despite never having judged friends for their choices when it comes to feeding I feel like a failure for not being able to produce enough milk. Rationally I know with the C-section just the fact I am producing milk is positive. I feel a bit like a hamster on a wheel that can't get off. Constantly wondering whether it is worth the effort.
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Planned C Section at 33 weeks, being told I can have Steroids but that the risks may outway the benefits
preemie born at 33 weeks 
Sensitive- she is here!!
38 weeks planned c section - Steroid injection?
**sensitive birth of my baby girl **
