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Post 45 natural birth or c-section

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image

Has anyone had a natural birth at 45 weeks or older? I am flip flopping between natural or c-section. I like the stressless safety that c-section offers my baby and the fact that it pretty much rules out an emergency c-section which I want to avoid at all costs… and then I think of the fact that natural birth recovery time would be so much quicker… back and forth.

The thought of an epidural needle In my back is also really scary. I reckon I would be ok dealing with it if I was already in pain through contractions… then back to wanting to avoid an emergency situation or induction. We’ve waited for this sunshine baby for so long-this mama just wants to get it right 🙈

Ugg.. any insights gratefully received.

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Bozo_the_pumpkin
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Millbanks profile image
Millbanks

Hi lovely,

I had a planned c-section for my little miracle and I would 100% do it again.

It was a beautiful experience and so calm.

When they made the incision, they pulled him out half way and he wriggled out himself…. They also did delayed cord clamping to give him all the nutrients he needed.

They give you a small anaesthetic before the epidural needle goes in so you don’t feel it and it literally took seconds.

So many of my friends have gone in to labour, struggled and had an emergency C-section anyway.

My scar is also tiny because it wasn’t rushed.

Good luck with whatever you decide xx

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Millbanks

oh Millbanks that sounds idyllic! If that experience could be guaranteed for me then it would go a long way toward a decision. I am so glad the experience was so nice for you. two of my friends really struggled as well.... 1 was induced and things went south quickly and led to an emergency c-section and the other had a natural birth that was filled with trauma and fear - luckily babies and mommas were fine in the end.

How long was your recovery, if you don't mind me asking? and how long did you have to stay in the hospital? The NHS website says 3-4 days in hospital.

Millbanks profile image
Millbanks in reply to Bozo_the_pumpkin

Sure! I had 3 nights in hospital (also planned) which really helped but after a week I was pretty mobile. The scar had healed by then… Started exercising again at 8 weeks.I feel like because it was planned and very calm, the scar is small and also healed well as it wasn’t a trauma xx

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Millbanks

That sounds really positive.. I would prefer to stay in the hospital for a couple of nights at least. My home life would be so busy .. it would give me a chance to get used to the baby and also have painkillers on tap if needed 😊. Thank you for sharing- this does calm my fears a bit

Fudge1980 profile image
Fudge1980

Ohh I am in the same predicament 🥴 I am so unsure what to do. I could of wrote the post myself bozo!

I may struggle to dilate properly or fully and end up with a section anyway.

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Fudge1980

yes ...same for me. I don't want to end up with an emergency c-section. The midwife says that there is no reason that for me not to give birth naturally... I just loath the idea of being out of action for so long afterwards 🙆‍♀️

Jjleo profile image
Jjleo

I'm worried about this too! I have 2+4 weeks left. I have chosen to have an elective csection for my twins. I had a natural birth with my son who is 12 now, I was 18 at the time and it was a breeze and I was induced. 5.5 hours and he was in my arms! Too many complication risks with twins though for a natural birth I think. I would hate to have to recover from both if I had 1 natural and 1 csection. plus they are both breech at the moment anyway. I am worried about the csection the thought terrifies me :(

I would definitely not let your age deter you from a natural birth I would have a chat to your midwife. My mum's friend caught pregnant at 50 by accident - so not fair to us guys who have had to go through so much to have our miracle babies :( her labour lasted 3 hours and her son was born. she laughs and says he shot out like a cannon 😂 haha. I asked my consultant midwife about the epidural she said that they give you a local anesthetic first as previous lady said and you don't feel anything. Why don't u ask if u can have a meeting with your consultant midwife, she will go through the csection with a fine comb so you know every details that's what I did.

Dont stress about everything too much you still have a while to decide yet. I think whatever way you decide your going to be terrified anyway it's completely natural for every woman! These babies are coming one way or another for us lol It will be the best day of your life when your holding her 🥰🥰 xx

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Jjleo

wow Jjleo - not very long to go at all...it is so exciting to know that you will soon see the little faces that you've only been able to see on the scan! yes, I would also go down the elective section if there were twins involved. labour and c-section recovery at the same time sounds like a bit too much tbh. might as well avoid the risks and it sounds like the better option. But it is scary isn't it.. not nightmare every night scary yet...but definitely lurking in the back of the mind as something unavoidable. As you say...there is no going back now ha ha ha.... either way, our babies are coming. I have another midwife appointment next week and I will follow your advice and ask to speak with the consultant midwife. We've been referred to the ' birthing options' department for a chat but this was 2 months ago and we have thus far not heard from them. Not sure whether I am not far enough along...they probably speak to mamas who are a bit further along than I am first.

Gosh - your mom's friend was very lucky in everything. I wish it was that easy for us all..3 hour labour...a dream :)

Wishing you all the luck in the world...and I am looking forward to your birth announcement xxx

Shireen1 profile image
Shireen1

Hi Bozo! I can’t help much with the decision because doctors decided for me. I am having a C section. There are advantages of natural birth, primarily faster recovery. However if there is any risk for you or baby, they would do C section. Good luck with whatever you decide! I feel like it was yesterday that I read your post on your first ultrasound 💙

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Shireen1

:) Thanks Shireen...yes it feels like yesterday. Good luck with your section...how long do you have to go? xx

Shireen1 profile image
Shireen1 in reply to Bozo_the_pumpkin

Thank you. Two more months, I hope :)

Purpledoggy profile image
Purpledoggy

The chance of an emergency section if over 40 is higher than everyone else, about 1/3, so if you want to avoid that at all costs I suggest going for elective. I had one and much like Millbanks had a great experience, really straightforward, fast recovery (much faster than the 2 emergency sections in my NCT group). C-sections don’t always have slower recovery than natural birth anyway-my stepsister’s episiotomy recovery was much slower than her (or my) section. Not trying to persuade you either way, just mooting that elective sections are generally very straightforward, which my midwife and obstetrician both told me. Xx

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Purpledoggy

hi, thanks for sharing your experience. yes I know the chance of an emergency section is higher...and the chance of going overdue and being induced is higher as well...neither of which I have. How long did you recovery take? I am the only driver in the family and my parents are visiting from abroad as well...5 weeks of recovery is just a very very long time if I can avoid it. I have been planning on an elective section since the beginning but I just can't shake off the idea of natural birth and escaping the weeks of recovery....

Purpledoggy profile image
Purpledoggy in reply to Bozo_the_pumpkin

There's no guarantee on the recovery time with a natural birth though, not to talk you out of it. I waited 5 weeks to drive but could easily have driven before that - I felt mostly back to normal by 2 weeks. Totally understand the predicament though - when you don't have a partner to rely on to do the driving that's tough. xx

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Purpledoggy

yes absolutely true. My partner is wonderful but he has just not gotten as far as getting his license. Hopefully soon but not in time for the birth, sadly. I am assuming that recovery with natural birth is a different type of recovery - although I guess you could have issues walking for quite a while with that as well. Mrs. OJ has also mentioned feeling 2 weeks and 5 weeks so I guess this is normal. ...decisions decisions. I think I will have to sleep on it and get more information and just see how my health goes, but tbh, I will probably go for the c-section in the end.

MrsOrangejuice profile image
MrsOrangejuice

I had an elective C-section 5 weeks ago. I had a choice but due to past gynae issues the consultant said I may end up with an emergency C-section anyway and his advice was to avoid that happening, so there was no medical reason and it was more a risk decision and after everything I'd gone through to get the baby, I just felt the worry about something going wrong in labour was too much. To be completely honest I found the epidural injection not great and it was the bit I was dreading but although it was an unpleasant feeling and they had to keep adding more local anaesthetic and doing additional injections, it was absolutely bearable and I would definitely have a section again. The section itself is a very weird experience but it was very quick and calm despite a few complications (that I only found out about after). The first 24-48hours was tough but not anything like as bad as I expected and I was discharged the day after the birth and could walk around and lift the baby ok. I was slow and a bit tender for two weeks and it's probably only after 5 weeks that I've felt back to fully normal and got my confidence back, but it was a lot easier than I thought. The scar is pretty much non-existent.

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to MrsOrangejuice

Thank you so much for your response...glad to hear you are up and about in a normal way once again. Have you been able to leave the house at all during this time or have you had to wait until now?

I am also worried about something going wrong in labour....then having to be rushed to an emergency c-section and my baby being in distress...as you say, I've gone through way too much for it all to go belly-up in the end. But, I still think of how nice it would be for the birth to happen and then to be over rather than paying for it for weeks thereafter.

The epidural, the local anesthetic injections...all a bit daunting for me...does the excitement of seeing your baby for the first time distract you from these things? it took them about 20 minutes to sedate me the first time I went for an egg retrieval because of the panic so things become a bit hairy when needles are involved, especially when I have time to work myself up about it (I say after 5 years of IVF) ...I can't believe I feel less fear of the contractions than I do of the injections - logically it does not even make sense! In my head, if I had contractions it would mask or distract me from the pain/fear of the injections and I could go ahead with the c-section...

🙆‍♀️ ridiculous I know.

Thanks for the very useful info on recovery time. My partner, my parents - I know they will all be very happy to assist whilst I am out of action. I just couldn't see myself being in pain, slothing around with a crying baby who I couldn't reach when she needed me...for weeks, but 48 hours is quite doable...it probably goes by in a haze of newness and excitement.

MrsOrangejuice profile image
MrsOrangejuice in reply to Bozo_the_pumpkin

I hope my reply didn't give the wrong impression - what I meant was that by five weeks I felt completely back to normal and strong and had complete movement, but I really was fine way before that. The first 24-48 hours I was very tender and quite hunched over, but the pain was nothing like as bad as I expected. Everyone on the ward who'd had sections was discharged by the following day. I Googled c section recovery stories like mad and I had everything set up at home so that I didn't need to stretch much or get out of bed, but actually I could hold and feed little one fine (although it was a very uncomfortable feeling if she knocked my abdomen or was at the wrong angle). The first night in hospital the nurses will help you but they seemed to expect by the morning that you can pick the baby up, and that's quite hard as the hospital cots are high sided but you'll figure it out. We were out and about doing very very short walks within a few days, and I just took things very easy as my body and brain were exhausted. After a week we could do longer walks but don't do housework, or lift anything , including the car seat if you can avoid it. The thing I found most uncomfortable was actually being in the car - couldn't find a comfortable place for the seatbelt and the 'jiggle' of your belly and the scar is pretty yuck, plus any time we went over a bump in the road... But we had to go to medical appointments constantly so no choice. Sneezing is the worst thing and the first time it happens it's really sore and I was convinced I burst my stitches (again, keep on the pain meds).

The injections were not fun but I've always needed more for them to work in other procedures - I think typically you just have a very quick local anaesthetic and then you don't feel the epidural. I ended up having a lot as I carried on feeling them and they weren't working but even then they were bearable. The absolute worst part was the cannula - I hate those things as they're uncomfortable and I don't like feeling the meds go in - but tbh it distracted me.

My experience was that the whole procedure was calm and very quick - that's despite finding out after I lost a lot of blood and the baby got stuck and had to be pulled out with forceps!

If you go with a section, my tips/observations would be: try and have colostrum ready as you're milk may not come in for a while (when it does your boobs will be way more painful than your c section scar btw), take the pain meds all the time and whenever offered (even if you feel ok as they need to stay topped up or they suddenly stop and then it takes longer to build back up), take a gentle laxative in the days after (trust me on that one), you will probably swell up a lot in the days after as you're pumped with fluid during the section and it just hangs around especially in your legs and feet (I didn't swell at all during pregnancy so this was a shock and I couldn't get any of my shoes on), you may bleed loads or not at all (I didn't bleed for two weeks and then gushed and haven't stopped), the night sweats were something else and lasted weeks so have several changes of clothes for each night. Finally, the first warm shower you have post birth is the best experience you will ever have and no spa can ever better it :)

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to MrsOrangejuice

Thank you very much… I find it quite heartening that despite the hiccups you still feel positive about the experience- it really does put it all in perspective.! The more I chat to people, the more I am leaning towards the c-section. It’s quite nice that you could get out of the house after a few days.. I had visions of soothing around the house miserable, for weeks! We have an appointment with a birthing options midwife in a couple of weeks and I feel that if they can offer me a bit of reassurance about the epidural I will feel better about the c-section. I definitely want the calm experience that you are all describing and I am mighty glad that despite the complications you were ok!

The bleeding afterwards sounds really grim. It’s like having 9 months worth of period in one go and I am really enjoying my period free months 🤭

I am currently taking fybogel for the constipation-as I generally have issues in that department. I assume they will allow me to continue with it-having to struggle post c-section cannot be pleasant!

Thanks for all the tips.. again so useful. I thought to only buy a breast pump later when baby is home but I will get on it sooner and try and do the pump thing before the section.

Hope all is well with you and you are enjoying motherhood thoroughly 💕

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Hey lovely! I'm so happy to hear that you are so close to meeting your little one....so exciting! I really wanted a natural birth for recovery reasons and was a bit terrified of the epidural. However my boys decided for me that it's wasn't hapenning. I'm not a fan of a section after having had one, mine wasn't as clam and happy as others have said but maybe that was just me.....if I had the choice I would still go natural. Good luck.xxx

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Cinderella5

Hi Cindy...thank you! I hope you are doing well too:) I am sorry your c-section wasn't as calm as serene as some other mamas described. Was it an emergency c-section?

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5 in reply to Bozo_the_pumpkin

No mine was planned. To be fair I wasn't really aware of everything that was going on as I had the babies in my arms and I lost a fair bit of blood so was very drowsy. I think I had bad luck but that was perhaps due to twins too. Good luck honey, you'll be fine either way....go with your gut., they need to come out one way or another.xxx

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Cinderella5

Thanks you Cindy.. glad it was all fine in the end.. 💕

BettyBe profile image
BettyBe

Hi Bozo,Which one are you leaning more to? I wanted a natural birth but due to not dilating even after 36 hours, extra long contractions, failed induction - I had an emergency section. Recovery wasn’t great for me nor the aftercare. I can’t even remember the epidural and my scar can hardly be seen.

But I hear planned vs emergency sections are different from lots of ladies - I think due to the time they have to do it, being prepared, more calm etc.

Good luck with what you decide, second time round I think I’d go for another section only because I’m scared of things going wrong again!! Xx

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to BettyBe

Hi Betty, thank you for responding.... I am so conflicted. In the end I will probably go with a planned c-section as I really don't want an emergency section. I would love the calm and stress-free birth that some ladies described above...I am probably just daydreaming about not having to go through the recovery post-section recovery tbh.

BettyBe profile image
BettyBe in reply to Bozo_the_pumpkin

Do what you feel in your heart, I’m 45 nearly 46 and I’d be nervous to go for a natural birth after already having an emergency c-section but then I worry a lot 😂 Good luck xx

Wow Bozo. 45 weeks? Are you 45 weeks already? Are you worried about the risks after 42 weeks? If you’re planning a c-section you could do it earlier. I know how you feel about avoiding induction - I’m booked for one on Friday and dreading it - I just want this baby to come naturally but it is what it is, and I don’t have a fear of needles (although I will try and go without it to start with). I’m not happy that they’re marking me a risk at 40 weeks and I’ve tacked on 3 days to give my baby a chance but I feel at this point if they’re unsure of the risks I just have to go with it.

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Positivechangeplease

lol no I mean over 45 years of age :) I am currently 47 years old.. so I am super worried about the increased risks if I go past the due date but I am totally flummoxed about which way to go. The only thing I know is that it needs to happen before 40 weeks..Good luck on Friday...I hope everything goes well and that baby comes quickly and that everything goes to plan. You're a strong mama - we got this far right? So this is the last stretch for us xx Looking forward to your birth announcement :)

Positivechangeplease profile image
Positivechangeplease in reply to Bozo_the_pumpkin

Lol I thought you meant that then I saw weeks 😂. I’m also 41 not quite the same risks probably but the fact is they don’t really know them and the obstetrician said it’s not like you have a clock and it turns. I think as long as you still have regular movement all is okay. It’s the one thing I’m more paranoid about now I’m on my due date. I didn’t want to give in bang on 40 weeks, my blood pressure is great, no swollen ankles - okay I have “late onset diagnosed GDM” but honestly apart from a few anomalies my blood sugar has been fine everyday since I cut out sugary drinks so I’m a bit annoyed… but as you say it’s the unknown risks I suppose. However no big baby particularly so I hope to be able to do this via vaginal birth. I think you also have the option of starting the vaginal birth and moving to a c-section if it gets too much. Thanks 🙏 yes! You’re strong too! And remember that! I’m even planning a home birth so I’m desperate for it to happen sooner. My baby is just too happy in the womb. However, if you think a c-section is more your thing go for it. The recovery time is a little longer but most people I know that have had one don’t really regret it.

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin in reply to Positivechangeplease

😂 ha ha - sorry - yes I've just reread my message and found the error. imagine being 5 weeks overdue🥴

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5 in reply to Bozo_the_pumpkin

😳😳😳🤣🤣🤣

Chiefy profile image
Chiefy

I had a planned section and would definitely go that way again. In terms of recovery I found resting and keeping on top of the pain meds meant it wasn't too bad. I know for some women who give birth vaginally there are still complications that could make recovery difficult so neither way has any guarantees. Pick the least worst option for you and look forward to holding your gorgeous little one in your arms x

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin

Congratulations!! Thanks for posting.... you are right...there are downsides to both - just trying to figure out what the least worst option is lol

Vic2108 profile image
Vic2108

Hi, I’m 41 and had an elective c section on 3rd May. I flipped flopped for a long time between a VBAC and elective; the main reason I wanted to go for a VBAC was because I have an extremely active 3 year old and I honestly didn’t know how I was going to keep up with him if I had a section. He also likes to climb on me all the time which also worried me 😬. In the end, the consultants pushed me towards an elective, partly because of my age, but mainly because I’d had an emergency section last time and was likely to again and because this baby was big.

I won’t lie, having a spinal again was horrible - it’s not a nice experience at all! I think I’d blocked it out from the last time. But it was all done very quickly with no hitches and I was back on the recovery ward within 1.5 hours. I’ve also recovered really quickly and have been able to move around well quite quickly after the op. My little boy also realised he couldn’t climb on me! Hardest part is feeding in the night, going from lying down to sitting up all the time. HTH and best of luck with whatever you choose 😊

Bozo_the_pumpkin profile image
Bozo_the_pumpkin

Thank you Vic for posting. Yes that spinal injection is my biggest fear.. but on balance it seems that a natural birth might be easier for me but the c-section will be safer for baba… so I am definitely leaning to c-section. I am glad you had a positive experience and hearing that you recovered quite quickly really makes the whole process sound much more palatable 😊Thank you so much for your post.. it helps to build a fuller picture of what I might face xx

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