Adult bed wetting

[slp1963]

Please can any one help my daughter has always wet the bed she had some months clear however it is a frequent thing now at 19 . She has seen urologist and basically he says he feels for her but there is nothing they can do 😫 she takes desmopressin which may be helping as it isn’t every night but she has been using this for over 12 years !! We see a diary link we think ?

Can any one help ?

Who else can we go to ?

Is there any medication she could try ?

Physically everything is okay apparently

How can she have a normal life ? She is 19 she is going to want sexual relationships to sleep over !!

I am desperate , it is having an impact on her mental Heath which she struggles with .

She has ADHD , unstable personality disorder diagnoses - which I believe is the result of keeping this seceret all her life . Imagine the impact this is having on a young girl 😫 and no one medically is helping !! Any advice please sorry fir long post 😫

[Ramo1982]

I’m so sorry to hear this. Has she tried a bed alarm at all? We found one that eventually worked for our son when he was 9. He still has the odd night with a wet patch maybe once a month or something) but it was definitely to do with his brain not registering that he had to hold it or wake up and go. We tried all sorts of meds but the alarm sorted it. If you haven’t tried one and want to try the one we got, I’ll post a link for you.

[slp1963 in reply to Ramo1982]

We tried an alarm a long time ago and now she says she is traumatised by the sound 😫 she has tried setting alarm et 3am which can work but not good fir her sleep pattern . Thank you for your suggestions .

[Jacki3-]

Have you tried the alarms in her underwear I had a niece with the same problem also she can try pelvic muscle exercises it can do no harm in trying hopefully helps x

[slp1963 in reply to Jacki3-]

How old is your niece ?

[Jacki3- in reply to slp1963]

16yrs it was the pelvic floor exercises it strengthens the muscles plus the alarm that helped her all you can do is give it a try got nothing to loose 😉 fingers crossed 🤞 might help i do hope so xx

[StellaA in reply to Jacki3-]

Bladder exercises would definitely help, having a weak bladder won't necessarily cause bedwetting but will make it harder for her to get dry.I've really noticed as I get older and my bladder gets weaker I loose large amounts of urine through the night, it's gotten so bad now that I don't wake in the middle of the night needing to pee anymore.

[Jacki3- in reply to StellaA]

My sister got an inplant put in her side as she can't control her urine its remote control so she can turn it up or down when needed ask your doctor about it 🙂x

[StellaA in reply to Jacki3-]

Sorry but that sounds awful, the idea of anything inside there doesn't appeal to me.I was offered a mesh implant about a 15 years ago to 'fix' my stress incontinence.I turned it down, I'm so glad I did given the problems many have had with the implants.

Dealing with bigger and bulkier pads really isn't that bad I've needed them for so long it's just became normal to me now.

[Jacki3- in reply to StellaA]

Well you stay safe look after your self x

[slp1963 in reply to StellaA]

The thing with my daughter is she is so young and not in a relationship yet , I just don’t know how she would deal with it when she does met someone 😫

[slp1963 in reply to Jacki3-]

That sounds amazing I will ask about it defiantly . Thank you

[treetops31]

Have you seen a specialist incontinence team? I saw one once before I got referred to urology. They looked at things like diet, told me about pelvic floor exercises etc, (I was about 20 at the time so similar age to your daughter)

[slp1963 in reply to treetops31]

That is what I have suggested she asks her gp about , i think she use ti see the school nurse fir so long then the urologist who just said there was nothing they could go she has given up . We have seen a link with diary at night . Are you okay now ? Was it through out your childhood too ? Thank your so much for replying . I feel she is the only one I hate seeing g her cope with it 😫

[treetops31 in reply to slp1963]

Diary can be a huge help looking at triggers etc and noticing changes so that's good you've noticed a link!

It did happen every so often in my childhood, I used to have incontinence when I was very little about 4/5, (I'm 25 now. My mum reckoned it was due and to stress with moving house but we never quite found out but it eventually went. I think I wet the bed too then, looking back it probably was stress incontinence. But a few years ago I got incontinence again a few years after having my kidney out and I've been diagnosed with OAB (overactive bladder) and had a urodynamics test to confirm this so this might be something to consider for your daughter to have.

[slp1963 in reply to treetops31]

Thank you I will mention that although I think they feel her urinary system is fine it is the fact she isn’t producing the hormone ti prevent night time production of urine that’s why desmopressin helps a bit but she is on the same does as when a child. It us a difficult subject ti talk to her about snd had impacted I. Her mental well being 😫 .

[Gsh3233]

Hi, I also have adult bedwetting - I contacted the continence service here in Birmingham for further help a d found this beneficial. I was given a short course of solifenacin and also they helped with bladder re-training, pelvic floor exercises and general management of the condition. Overall the situation is better. Please reassure your daughter that even though this condition may be embarrassing there are ways through it and it dies not need to limit your ability to enjoy a busy and fulfilling life. Feel free to get in touch if I can give you further advice.

😊

[slp1963 in reply to Gsh3233]

Thank you so much fir your kind words I will ask about solifenacin , although she is pushing me away about this issue and refusing to discuss ☹️

[Gsh3233 in reply to slp1963]

Hi - there are quite a few medications out there that will help. Asking for help is not easy though and I identify with finding it hard to talk about bedwetting. We seem to build up a lot of defence mechanisms out of necessity and sometimes go into denial. Lots of reassurance will help. I hope she keeps believing on herself. I just regard it as one part of me, my bedwetting part, but there are other parts to me and I try not to let it define me. Good luck and please post back to let us know how things go x