How do you cope emotionaly?

Hi all I'm currently on painkillers, heat pads trying walks etc to control pains but since I had lap over 3 weeks ago my general pains of heavy aching stabbing pains around ovaries which shoot down my leg seem worse than before. I know things have been irritated and thanks to many of you for confirming its normal. So I'm just feeling fed up of this constant pain with no break.

I was told after lap that some endo was lasered, I have lession joining ovary, womb and bowl, and my tubes are bloked with hydrosalpinx. So the next thing will be to remove tubes. I'm waiting for follow up appointment in a months time and have got myself going round in circles. Worrying about another op and the fact ill not be able to have a baby naturally it feels so final even though I know they won't work anyway, and will IVF be an option and do I want to go through the stress if my ovaries still work, could I cope with another miscarage? I'm not really sure how I feel about it all and keep telling myself one thing at a time, but do I need to decide before appointment will he ask if I want IVF and then what about lession? Is it the tubes causing pain so ill feel better after they're removed them or is this what ill have to cope with every day?

Sorry so many questions and all I know is I feel I'm constantly waiting and want to get on with life, but emotionaly I feel like I'm struggling so really my question is how do you keep positive and deal with all these issues and just accept it? I'm normally a positive person but finding all this harder to deal with than I thought. Doesn't help when I'm asked are you better now? I say yes and put a smile on but really I want to say no I'm just hopping ill feel better once I've spoke to doctor but any coping tips would really help while I'm waiting . Thanks x

10 Replies

  • Have you considered a short course of antidepressants to help improve your own wellbeing and coping with what's ahead? It's not surprising it's all getting to much to put in to perspective when your ill at the same time.

    That would be my suggestion for coping.

    I needed them once in my life having got so het up with everything it led to a nervous breakdown. so having been down that road, and seen just how much better I was after the drugs, that would be my first choice if I felt like everything was getting on top of me again.

    The one thing you want to avoid if at all possible is reaching a breakdown point. That will cause you a certain level of brain damage and can take years to recover from inspite of medical help.

    Best avoided if at all possible.

    Anti-depressants numb your emotional responses to events you see or hear. Less anger, less crying, less laughing too, basically lessens all the emotional elements that actually drain your brain of serotonin and gives your body a chance to build up the levels of serotonin again and that leaves you in a much chipper frame of mind. everything can be seen much clearer and your thoughts are much easier to deal with when the emotional element is out of the equation.

    Taking them does not interfere with surgery, or delay it, and as surgery itself is known to trigger even deeper depression in many patients, it is certainly something you should discuss openly and honestly with your GP, who will assess you and possibly try you out on anti-depressants. there are many kinds and if one doesn't suit you there are others to try.

    The 2nd one i tried worked wonders for my head. The 1st one I reacted badly too, and spent most of the day on the loo or fast asleep.

  • Hi thanks for your comments I had been thinking maybe a trip to gp may be needed butkeep thinking its just a blip and if I just wait till the next appointment maybe ill feel better as ill know more then hopefully. My gp isn't great at listening either last time I cried cause pain was worse and she shrugged her shoulders and said do you need more painkillers while you wait for lap?nothing else I can do you just need to wait! I'm always a bit concerned taking too many pills when I run my own business as I can't not be at work. I'm not sure that's helping me either I've never really felt I needed help before but this has all hit me a bit and struggling to shake myself out of it. Do you think its just part of the recovery as only 3 weeks since op is it normal to feel like this or do you think I should see gp asap? I suppose I don't really know how I should feel it has been a lot to accept! Thanks x

  • I can relate to some of what you're saying, with the post lap thing, I'm four weeks ago today as you prob know lol, I really think yesterday I turned a corner in terms of actual recovery from the op, I'm still suffering the same old pain I was pre-lap, but im bound to as no endo removed, I seem to have inherited some extra pain too, I barely slept since the lap either but on Friday I finally gave in and started taking my amitriplyn that my gp gave me last year. I hate taking tablets as I do suffer the side effects, I'm spaced out when on codeine so I dreaded the amitriplyn.

    I think it's still early days in terms of us being diagnosed, our situations are different of course, but we have a lot to get our heads around dont we? i think impatient might be right about the anti depressants, like I said I've just started the amitriplyn, I'm only on 10mg so they wouldn't be classed as an anti depressant but these last few nights I have had around 4-5 hours sleep, whereas previously I was awake nearly all night, getting out for 8-10 wees all night, but I do feel my mood has improved since actually getting some sleep, and yes I'm still bewildered as what I do next, but I don't feel so tearful as I did last week, that could be coincidence or it could be the tablets helping me to sleep, I don't know - I'm not sure if I've made any sense, I tried to lol xx

  • Hi thanks, yes I've been reading your updates and although we may have different decissions to make I think emotionally we sound very similar. Lost in questions and worries and trying to accept the info from lap and make sense of it all. My main concern of thinking about anti depresents is because when I'm on codeine I'm so spaced out can't drive or work as can't concentrate. Will anti depresents be a similar feeling as I'm spaced out writing this as had to give in tonight and take them but hate that feeling! I'm glad your feeling better I think being warn out from pains is what is making it harder as I've had worse pains since op too. I hope things continue to improve for you and thanks for letting me know that what I'm feeling is quite normal too x

  • I haven't taken anti-depressants for 21 years, which was after my first baby, my marriage went through a real bad patch and maybe a bit of post natal depression, but the anti depressants made me feel so tired and lifeless, but I know they have come a long way since then, but you can see why I was hesitant with the amitriplyn as I think they used to be used as anti depressants, and I'm the same as you with codeine I'm really spaced out and light headed, but the first two days of amitriplyn I was a little dizzy and light headed the next morning and felt so tired, but yesterday and today that has gone.

    I don't know if amitriplyn is what you need or have ever taken them, but maybe something would be worth a try, you can try first dose when you don't have to get up for work the next day. Try and get an appointment with your usual gp this week preferably, I saw mine last Friday just to have a chat, she went through everything with me, and told me to start those tablets, and like I've said I've since had some quality sleep and my tearful mood has lifted, and I've actually got through the day without tears lol. If you just want to chat you pm me and I can give you my email, and I've found some great support on twitter this week too, used my separate profile so my friends and family don't see, cos as supportive as they are they really just don't get it xx

  • If you haven't tried the amitriplyn then maybe it's a thought, I've been pleasantly surprised by them xx

  • I was like you not that long ago, had lap done about nine weeks ago, took me ages to bounce back, went to doctors who is fab, she has put me on amitriptyline once every evening, it helps nervous system from brain to body she also advised I took high dose of vitamin d and zinc. The last two weeks I have felt like me again, haven't felt like that since last November . There is hope in sight. Doctor asked if I wanted to go on anti dep but I refused, I wasn't depressed just peed off and body had had enough

    Good luck x

  • I don't think you've butted in lol, I think we all have valuable information to offer, and you're right reading the posts on this site does help us in knowing that we are not alone, and that we just understand the pain we are all in, i say it all the time on here but this site really has helped me keep some sanity. when I tell people I was suspected of and now diagnosed with endo, they just say 'oh ye painful periods, ye I get that' grrrr, if only just painful periods.

    I hope I don't suffer any weight gain, I've worked so hard to remove 5 1/2 stone this last twelve months, and still working on a bit more, the drowsiness went yesterday but I suppose it might vary in the initial weeks of starting it, very weird tho I seem to have suffered headaches since starting it really strange as like you said you were given it for headaches, and so was my sister too, I've been drinking lots of water but maybe it's not enough and I am dehydrated. I also worried about becoming dependent on tablets to sleep, but at the moment I'm just enjoying a few ours sleep xx

  • Hi thankyou all for making me feel like this is all quite normal and the info on anti depresents and its good to hear they are helping. Having never taken anything more than codeine when the pain is bad I'm a little nervous on how they may effect me but hearing that it helps I am feeling a bit better about trying them if that's what the gp advises.

    Yellow flower thankyou for telling me about your op I'm sorry your experienceing the same but its great to hear that having my tubes removed should improve things. I've looked into IVF online and many places won't do it with hydrosalpinx until they're removed as the fluid is toxic to embryo so I know if I decide on this route then the tubes have to go. I'm 35 so a few years before I'm too old for IVF but my hubby is 44 so don't want to leave it much longer if we want to do it but I know it maybe a rollercoaster of emotions! I hope you continue to improveand feel free to but in anytime!! It's very comforting to hear from someone who understands the emotional side not just the pain.

    Thankyou to you all I've read lots about the pains but not much about how it effects us emotionaly so thankyou to you all for your advise its really helped me tonight x

  • Hi thanks for all the advice and yes ill msg you yellow rose. Managed to get a doctor's appointment for Wednesday so will see what she says, but in the mean time I'm ok been busy with work deadline so its taken my mind off things today but suffering with pain now x

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