I have severe endo and i dont believe i can have children of my own, infact recently i became a registered foster carer. However my family and friends think that i do want to try to have a family and i will go down the road of IVF soon. Ive written an email to send to everyone telling them how i feel but im ot sure whether to send it? Any advice would be appreciated.
This is the email -
"Spending the day with my 3 siblings and their happy young families, left me with hugely mixed feelings. The strongest emotion being pain. Deep, heavy, destroying sadness. Of course I love them all dearly and cherish time spent with them. But witnessing their relationships, the bonds, happiness, laughter, warmth, cuddles, fun, hearing them comparing their little ones growth and milestones, even the challenges they face, underlines how different my life is and will continue to be.
Although ive never been told, as doctors have always desperately avoided the conversation, I am quite certain I will never have children of my own.
To even contemplate conceiving I would have to have my coil removed. Immediately the endometriosis would re-grow, resulting in pain and bleeding along with all the other symptoms of Endometriosis making me unwell, sex would become impossible as the pain and bleeding increased. I would also have to stop taking Nortriptyline which I currently take for pain relief. I can’t bear to think about the levels of pain I would have to endure. Nortriptyline is my life line, currently I take 40mg od, i cant even reduce the dose by 10mg as my pain becomes intolerable.
I had stage 4, severe endometriosis removed and I know how unlikely it is to be able to conceive if you have had endo to that degree. I now have severe adhesions, thus making it virtually impossible for any eggs to be released or find there way down the fallopian tubes, also my fallopian tubes are not in the right position, so the transfer of the egg would not take place. At best an ectopic pregnancy would occur when the egg gets trapped in a blocked tube tube. Chronic inflammation of my uterus and over production of prostaglandins from the endometriosis lesions would cause any implanted egg to be expelled resulting in miscarriage.
Many would suggest IVF as an option. I don’t see it that way. I would have to endure many years of trying to conceive before getting to this point. But I know of or have heard of so many women who’s life’s have been destroyed, ruined by their fixation/obsession to be mothers. Nothing else matters to them apart from conceiving, their whole life become dictated by wanting a child, they often become sad, lonely, depressed and very bitter, unable to fulfill their ultimate need/requirement/dream in life. I never want to be that woman. IVF can be complicated, painful, expensive, demoralizing, depressing and painstaking. Pain takes up enough of my life as it is now, IVF would only intensify it.
For all of the reasons above I do not wish to even to try to conceive, I will not be having children of my own. "