Fertility and endometriosis

[Aphra]

Hi all, I've been thinking a lot recently about how endometriosis will impact my fertility. I always assumed I would have children in my early 30s, once I had an established career, but I don't think I necessarily have that much time. I was diagnosed with endometriosis following a laparoscopy in February 2019, which found clubbing on the fimbrial ends of one of my fallopian tubes. I was asked by the consultant when I was planning to have children and although she didn't tell me that I wouldn't be able to get pregnant if I waited a significant amount of time (i.e. 5+ years), she did suggest having children fairly swiftly.

Currently, I'm 25 and just establishing my career. I have a long term partner who I love and want to have children with one day, but I simply don't feel able to have children yet. So far my stance has been that if it's not the right time it's not the right time - we can't magically make ourselves financially or emotionally ready to have a child, and I wouldn't want to plough ahead and risk upending other aspects of my life in order to have a baby. But I also don't want to miss my chance to have children by assuming that I will be able to get pregnant later on in life, when the time is "right". It's all very difficult, particularly as no one can really say how much time I have or what my chances of falling pregnant naturally will be in a few years.

Does anyone have any advice for how to work through my feelings on this? Or links to any research on endometriosis and fertility that can help me work through this.

[PeaceXO]

I have the same thoughts as you, I've just created a post for my first time, I haven't had my ultrasound scan yet though I'm waiting for my appointment

Sorry I know this isn't an answer to your question but can I ask how long after visiting the doctors that you got diagnosed? X

[Aphra in reply to PeaceXO]

Hi, it's comforting to know that others are in the same position, although I wish none of us were! I had to visit my GP several times before I obtained a referral. The whole process probably took about a year and a half but I count myself lucky, particularly as I didn't have a lot of the classic endo symptoms (my periods were never THAT bad or heavy, but I did have pain when ovulating, pain during sex, and pelvic pain throughout my menstrual cycle). I was very surprised when I met with the consultant who immediately referred me for a laparoscopy, as I thought they probably wouldn't bother investigating it that thoroughly but I'm so glad they did. I will say that don't be surprised if your ultrasound is clear as mine was and I had my bowel pinned to my pelvic wall by the endo, so it misses a lot! Good luck with your journey X

[PeaceXO in reply to Aphra]

That's crazy how did they miss so much! I find it scary that they just let people go and don't investigate things thoroughly sometimes im considering going on the pill again now until i know where i stand with scans etc as the pill can pause it from growing i think xxx

[Afrohair]

I’m just speaking based on my situation I had children young and never knew I had this I might have even got it late in life as my symptoms are fairly new compared to some but if I knew I had endo when I think endo started I would definitely have tried to have a baby regardless of my career because you can always go back to your career when baby is 1 or starts school I’m 34 now and trying for my final baby had I known I had this I would not wait as I’m now faced with age factors plus a health condition which could affect my fertility I also can’t afford ivf or lots of treatment for the endo which has to be treated quickly before it progresses remember every month you have a period you have more lesions what have no where other than your uterus to go xx all the best

[Aphra in reply to Afrohair]

Hi, thanks for telling me your story and sharing your perspective - I really appreciate it. I think you're likely to be right and I expect I'll regret it if I don't try to have a baby fairly soon, but it's a difficult decision to make when I'm not financially anywhere where I'd like to be and I'd imagined such a radically different timeline and life for myself. I'm thinking that it might be a good idea to see if I can see a counsellor to work through this.

[Devils_Advocate]

I had stage 4 endo and PCOS so fertility was always a worry for me. I never wanted children until I was in my 30s but decided to have them much earlier (25). It was not an easy decision for us, and it took a lot of conversations.

I thankfully never had any issue getting pregnant (which shows how difficult it is to know if it will affect your fertility) and now have two beautiful little boys.

No one can tell you when is right and having a baby is hard going, especially when you are ill. But I never regret my decision.

I took a step back from my career. But I am concentrating on it more now boys are a bit older. Life hasn't gone to plan but I am now a senior manager in a job I adore.

Honestly no one can tell you the answer and I feel for you, as it is such a difficult decision.

Tc

D x

[Aphra in reply to Devils_Advocate]

Thank you for your perspective. It is a very difficult decision. I didn't think I was someone who had a very clear plan of what my life was going to look like but it turns out I do, and endometriosis wasn't something I'd expected or accounted for. I think I might seek out counselling to help me make a decision as I just feel paralysed by it all at the moment.

[Roro1]

I turn 40 in March, I had a diagnostic lap in Feb which confirmed I had endo. I first had a scan in 2010 when I was 30 and I was told I had a cyst as opposed to endometriosis I was never told I had endo so all though my 30’s I was managing the pain with pain killers I was also on the mirena coil. So when My partner and I decided it was time to start a family I couldn’t conceive. I felt at loss when I was diagnosed in Feb, if I had been informed earlier about my endo I would have chosen to have a baby early than to have a career. I’ve always wanted to have a family. A career for me could have come later. Right now my career is a mess, I am not performing, am on medical menopause which I have found very challenging, on sick leave as the pain bad.

I’ve been trying to conceive for the last 3 years and now know that endo was the reason I couldn’t have a baby. I’ve had my endo excised in Dec and have been referred for fertility. I also have a hysteroscopy in April as I was diagnosed with adenomyosis in Dec.

Everyone’s timing is different and priorities are different. I would say listen to what feels right for you.

[BeTheSunshine]

I’m 32 and was diagnosed in October 19. I’m single so can’t try for a baby anyway! I’ve done an awful lot of reading by scouring the internet and my conclusion is that they won’t know if you’re fertility is affected until you try to conceive. So no one will be able to tell you either way. Surgery has proven to increase pregnancy rates.

Coincidentally a friend of mine, same age, also has endo but has just fallen naturally. I also know a number of other people that have fallen naturally despite their endo. I joined a few groups on Facebook which are full of women with children!

In my mind, there isn’t much I can do about it for me, and when the time comes there could be any number of issues that could cause problems, or I could fall naturally like other people I know. If I have to have IVF then I guess I’ll go down that route. Or adopt.

I never wanted to be an old mum, was never career driven, but life is the opposite of what I planned. I suppose the benefit is that I do have a decent job now so will be able to afford (some) IVF if it’s needed.

Good luck, sending you calming thoughts to break through the noise and confusion you’re feeling right now x

[Jazmin222]

You can only go with you inner instinct and what feels right to you at this point.

25 is still very young but you’ll see on this forum it can take years to fall pregnant and having regrets later on is so hard psychologically!!

I wonder if you should have a blood test for your AMH level and check egg reserve as it’s not just the endo that could cause issues. The endo can be cleared and you can get pregnant (as I have) but it’s all the other issues tho you may or may not have but don’t know about at this point!

So hard but I would either try in a year or so if you’re not ready right this minute - but perhaps do some tests on your AMH/your partners sperm/thyroid/FSH etc to ensure there’s nothing else that can hamper your fertility.

Best of luck xx

[Milly2408]

I guess it's really about what you would value more, career or children? I'm in a similar situation, I had surgery last April and was told that I had more chance of falling pregnant after that. So we started trying as I knew I'd regret it otherwise.

It's now 11 months on and nothing except one miscarriage right at the start.

Not trying to scare you, just it can take a while to fall pregnant, sometimes years with endometriosis. But then again for some people it can be very quick.

If you absolutely want children, you could always go back to a career or build one further once you have a child. I guess it's whether or not you'd regret it if you couldn't fall pregnant in a few years time if you started trying then.

[StefaniaJW]

Endometriosis can be very severe (even stage 4) but many can conceive naturally after a thouroughly-performed excision if the tubes are intact.

Clubbed tubes are a common sign of irreversible infertility, however it all depends on the severity of the situation (are both blocked or just one? Did they manage to unblock them with the dye? Even the dye can be unreliable with fimbrial issues as stated herecenterforhumanreprod.com/fe... ).

Anyway it depends on so many factors that I suggest you see a fertility specialist or reproductive endocrinologist when the time is right.

[claudia_d]

Hey, I'm 30 and planning to start trying in 1-2 years. I didn't felt ready when I was 25, nor do I feel now. If you can, try for freezing some eggs, I found in London for around 3k, can't say the name but they were quite good and professional.

Also don't know if this helps...I'm interviewing an endometriosis fertility specialist for my page. If you have any questions you want to ask him, tell me. forms.gle/u4BZ6hcLKGcqNPbL9