1st lap endo 2nd lap no endo help I'm confussed?

[Confussedpenguin101]

Haa anyone had same experience as me? I'm feeling lost upset confussed. A year ago I was diagnosed with endometriosis /adenomyosis and pcos

I had lost my job to being in and out hospitals in extreme flare ups. To the point I now have morphine at home to reduce chance of me needing to stay in hospital.

I had surgery 2nd one yesterday told I don't have endo? So does this mean that it might not grown through enough to be able to see? I asked him if adenomyosis was my cause of pain if he's saying no endo and he said that or pelvic dysfunction... (I see a pt as he requested I see one she sees no dysfunction and I've had female drs do examines and said no issue at all only him... not being funny in nicest way possible it's a man I don't find it easy so I am tense.

He did remove quite a few bits of tissue though but seems to think it's not endo but will be sent to lab? So what would this tissue be? I've not worked myself up so much thinking I'm a fraud and I'm a wuss I can't cope with pain ect. I'm in recovery and I'm trying so hard not to take painkillers to punish myself in a way messed up I know.

Also in my discharge summary says appendix absent? Never told me this himself though? I've never had appendix out? And surley it would been picked up on a scan if I didn't have one so what does that mean? Sorry for long post I'm really emotional struggling mentally I quote frankly HATE myself and I'm confussed.

Has anyone had this situation where 2nd time no endo?

Ps I don't really get on with him 100% there's something we can't put our finger on I feel unheard all the time. And he contradicts himself he asked me yesterday did I want coil? My last app he told me coil wouldn't be any good for me cos my mental health and my adenomyosis as my womb is bulky ect ect. And he didn't see point if I'm on double does of pop.

He's also stated I refused a transvaginal scan... I never it wasn't even offered my mum was in the appointment with me? I'm just made to feel like I'm crazy and makes me question myself