Hi all. My wife is due for her surgery on the 26th of September and I wanted to start getting together some things that may help her before and after surgery. Is there anything anyone can think of that they didn't expect to need but ultimately wished they'd had sooner? Happy for any suggestions at all that may make it a little easier on her.
Thanks so much
I think a pillow for the car and a sick bucket for the journey home were two things recommended by my friend who has already had endo surgery. The seatbelt can hurt the wounds so the pillow gives some comfort and protection. Hope your wife’s surgery goes well! You’re a good man for looking at ways to help her! 💛
Some light foods that are easy on the stomach and not too heavy/greasy/fatty to digest! For the first few days I was put off ‘proper’ foods, mainly had mash potato, soup, biscuits, light crisps, crackers.
I was constipated for 10 days after and I think this is quite common with pain meds and anaesthesia, so I’d also recommend some gentle stool softeners/prune juice.
Deciding on a place to rest up and having everything easily accessible nearby without having to reach too far. Phone charger, books, blankets, pillows, drinks, snacks etc. She won’t be doing much else!
Most importantly just to have someone around to be there for the little things. I needed help getting up, going to the toilet, as my abdomen was quite sore and couldn’t walk without support or worry of falling over. That only lasted for the first few days but couldn’t have done it without my partner around to help.
windeze for gas pain, pillow for the journey home, pregnancy pillow or raised pillow to sleep on at home, plenty of dressings to replace hers, simple store cupboard foods for light meals (I didn’t have much of an appetite for quite a few days), something like a stool softener to help her go, throat sweets for after the anaesthetic, lots of entertainment for her recovery - plus plenty of hugs, especially in the first few days where she will feel her most rough and at the end of the first week when you have a bit of a mood dip 
Just be careful not to take stool softener if having bowel resection as it’s not recommended.
Obviously your doctor will prescribe it if you need it.
This is such a wonderful thing you are doing for your wife,
Lots of pillows for sleeping and protection of seatbelts. Pillows to help her during the day when she might want to sit up but might be having difficulty.
I had quite complicated surgery but hopefully she won't have the same but my go tos were:
Anusol wipes (the gas and antibiotics did not agree well with me) and hospital toilet paper not great in sensitive areas.
Loads of clean nighties so she can avoid having any waist bands.
Lots of large night time cotton pads as she might be bleeding.
Stock up on ibuprofen and paracetamol.
For going back to work or transitioning during recovery a chair pad or support was a blessing as my back and pelvic floor were shot so a bit painful to sit for long periods of time.
Hope this helps! And best wishes!
Some great suggestions so far. Really appreciated, thank you all!
Hi Shane, this isn't so much a tip on what to get but after I had my appendix out last year (am on endo waiting list now) I overdid it massively with lifting and driving, and caused myself no end of back and neck issues I'm still dealing with now. So one piece of advice I would give is really try and help your wife to not overdo it physically. When the core muscles are switched off, your body compensates in ways that ultimately can cause injury. In my case the rest period also weakened my rotator cuffs so I should have done some rehab before getting back to normal activity. It won't be the same for everyone but be particularly cautious if your wife is used to being quite physically active especially lifting - even around the house like hoovering or whatnot - and driving. In my experience the medical advice wasn't sufficient. Please make sure she takes it easy and builds up slowly to normal activities!All the best, I'm glad she has you looking out for her! X
After the first couple of days (which most of the other replies have focused on) make sure she has comfy clothes (I usually live in jeans but they sat across my incisions so I spent a month in joggers/leggings and baggy tops), lots of things to do to keep her amused and then taking her out once she's feeling up to it (you can't drive for around 6 weeks and by the end of the first week i was going stir crazy, my mum and husband would try and take me out, even little places like the supermarket or a gentle walk round the local park helped), again try and think about what jobs and stuff around the house she may struggle with and what were ok (I wanted to be useful but doing the hoovering was a no go but I could happily cook meals, I did ironing in small bursts etc)
Hi, l see you have many replies, my good buy was a pillow wedge which l bought online from ETSY, lying flat is far from comfortable for a while l used mine with a normal pillow on top placed the way round so narrow ends top and bottom instead of the normal way.
She is a lucky girl to have you on her side.
Alexa
Shanetheson I am officially part of the fanclub! Every single reply (ladies, I bow down to you all) were goldust.
I would like to reinforce trying to making sure your wife doesn't do anything too physical, by making sure there's nothing like that for her to do, light walks, to the bathroom, outside for a few mins is great, then build it up.
For me personally, I am single and very independant but experience has taught me, when a guest asks me if my bin needs 'taking out', my answer is, yes, thank you.
Peppermint tea for the gas side effects afterwards.
It’s great you’ve asked and I hope her op goes well and gets rid of her pain. Being there and doing the household jobs will be appreciated by her I’m sure. Anaesthetic can make you feel tired as well.
I can't so much comment on this from personal experience, but I just wanted to say good luck to your wife and that what you're doing to help her prepare is absolutely incredible and I'm sure your efforts will make all the difference. I'd definitely recommend plenty of pillows, loose clothing and ensuring she has the support she needs so she doesn't overdo it too soon.
Thanks for everything so far. One thing I was wondering about - is high waisted or low waisted underwear recommended?
That is so kind of you.For me these are the things that have been helpful:
Food /snacks etc. In the hospital bag.. when I got out of surgery "the kitchen was closed" (at 5pm?) and I didn't have anything to eat while everyone else was eating around me. It was agony as I was fasting for two days prior. I had my husband grab a bunch of candy bars and snacks for me because I was just starving. They said that there was no restriction on what I could eat after surgery.
Something that has also helped me a lot since my diagnosis and after surgery is art and crafting kits. Paint by numbers, latch hook and needlepoint. I took a needlepoint and some etching kits to hospital with me. They are the really easy ones for children. But they are meditative and help you concentrate on something that's not your phone. Crafting gets me into a "focused mind" that really helps me block out everything else. The key is not really creative, not filling in a blank page, but following some easy instructions and getting carried away with that. Above is a picture I did as an "engraving art" it's very nice and no mess so perfect for hospital and very cheap.
Day 1 post Surgery Laparotomy 
Post surgery recovery
Post surgery recovery 
Post surgery and periods
Post Surgery
