Not endo but grief!! Grief is killing me

[Coral07]

sorry I know this isn’t about medical terms but I’ve been always had the best support on here🤍

over the past year I have lost everyone my dad my aunties my uncles my nan and grandad.. even my animals the last one I said goodbye to 2 days after Christmas. I’m 25 I’ve always been strong but I’m trying everything I’m even capeable of I’m going to therapy I’m being kind to myself but nothing is even putting a dent into the absolute heartbreak and devastation I feel everyday from the minute I wake up to the minute I go to bed all I do is cry I feel so alone💔 I just sit in this big empty house on my own reminiscing of all the good years and all the happy memories I’ve shared with my family and now it’s me… just me. Any advice I would welcome with open arms I just want to feel happy even in the slitest I almost feel asif I’m locked in this tiny box inside myself screaming to get out and no one can hear🥺🥺

[Moon_maiden]

Hi

I’m so sorry, condolences on your huge loss. It has to be incredibly hard to cope with everything and chronic pain.

Could you get a lodger, company and help with bills. B&B if you’re up to the work involved. Not real solutions with loss of family and pets I know.

It sounds like you’re doing things to help yourself , only time can be more healing.

Do pm if it would help. I’m sorry I can’t be more help.

[Rachel20]

Oh Coral..sending only good thoughts your way.Bless you that is alot to be going through.I am so sorry for your loss, truly I am.I understand that it must be terribly hard.I am glad that you say you are being kind to yourself..that is important.I know you are going to therapy but just wondered if you had thought of a bereavement group.Where you can connect with others in the same situation.I would recommed this because sometimes it can really help to actually connect with others who are going through grief as they alone understand and are feeling the same as you feel.I find talking to people who are in the same situation makes you feel less alone in your feelings.Im.not sure how much you get out Coral but walking can be good thing.Just to get out of your surroundings for a while.Also as you are alone in the house is there anyone who could come and stay with you for a while, a friend or a cousin maybe so you have someone in the house with you for company.Even if you may have lost contact with friends maybe just drop them a txt.Someone may be glad to stay if you reached out.And would you think of another pet perhaps,I know it must be terrible loosing a pet aswell as everything else but they are wonderful company.These things are by not means any compensation for your feelings or what you are going through, i know that.I want you to know i understand that Coral.But i want to send the same message as moon maiden if i can be of any help do pm me.

[PotatoSalad]

I’m so sorry Coral, it sounds like you are having an incredibly awful time.

I would like to recommend grief counselling to you. Cruze are incredible and have a helpline as well as offering counselling on a pay as you can donation basis. cruse.org.uk/

Please look after yourself, you are strong and incredible xxx

[BloomingMarvellous]

Biggest hugs 🤗 grief is a grim territory as well as a reflection of the enormous love that is and was part and parcel of all those relationships. There is only one way to deal with it and that’s through it but do it your way. Being alone and feeling there is none one to share or even simply be alongside is the hardest ever. Finding quiet undemanding shared spaces might bring some solace as you find your orientation. Without trying to fix anything or steer you I found a shared community garden a companionable and uplifting thing. I sowed a little hope when fiddling with the earth. There’s a lovely tale posted by Finisterre shop today on one of their staff swimming a 1000 days -cold water dipping -in succession to deal with the rawness of her grief. She talked about the physical numbness somehow was like her sense of numbness& how things felt for her. She did it with a group I think.

Whatever you do being on your own isn’t probably your best friend . Being forcibly disconnected by all the death and loss of those you love a brutal place to find yourself. At least for some points of each week find some supporting place to be besides others even if you can’t share or speak . One day a glimmer of hope will find its way forward and for a moment however fleeting warmth will return. For now your whole being is trying to navigate the shock of it all so keep reaching out xxx