Sex drive issues

[Travel19]

I started getting pains relating to my endo which got really bad a few months into my relationship with my boyfriend. I’d get a stabbing pain during intercourse but it would be ok in certain positions. But ever since this started my sex drive has disappeared completely. I’m only 19 so I’m worried it’s going to be like this forever. Most people my age should be all over eachother but I feel like my hormones are completely messed up. I was on contraception both the pill then the bar in my arm but came off them both as I thought they were the reasons the pains began and my drives gone. But I came off them and wasn’t on them for more than a few months. Does anyone have any recommendations on how to help my sex drive and get it back? Could the contraceptives have been the reason my drive disappeared?

[stephersb]

I think you need to be straight with your boyfriend. I'm 26 and had similar issues with my partner but was very straight with what felt right for me and we worked it out between us. Are you having any treatment for your endo? My Laposcopy has helped my painful sex issues but I only had it done on the 4th December so still quite nervous having sex which obviously doesn't help things. My gyne surgeon recommended the coil to help keep the endo at bay and helps with pelvic pain so I've had that the last few weeks. The coil is not as bad as it sounds I try not to think about it though haha. Sorry I've not been much help just know your not alone and the best support right now with that situation would be from your GP, partner and us ladies on here that battle through it like you do too

[Travel19 in reply to stephersb]

Hi, yes my boyfriends been so supportive through it all and doesn’t pressure me into anything as he knows I’m struggling with it but me and him both don’t know how to improve even just my sex drive in general. My gynae wasn’t much help either I asked her if there’s anything at all I can do to help bring that aspect back into my life as I’m far too young to not want a sex life. She just responded with “no” basically there’s nothing I can do. This left me broken because now I feel like there’s nothing left to do. Regarding the endo, I also have been told by the same gyne that there’s no point putting me on the lap waiting list because of Covid and it could take 3 years to be seen so she just gave me a different type of pill to take so I never have a period. But I was given no advice whatsoever on how to relieve any of my symptoms and basically was told there’s nothing that can be done. Thanks for your reply😊

[stephersb in reply to Travel19]

Thats completely wrong. Are you in the UK? Waiting lists can't be that bad! I had to wait a year for my surgery a few weeks back - should have been May this year but covid. My gyne said (in a more technical way I can't think of the words) the coil stops the lining of the womb creating the period and many have little or no periods.

Maybe its the stress of the endo and little support from your GP that is a contributing factor too. You definitely need a referral and some answers. X

[Travel19 in reply to stephersb]

Yes I’m in NI. I’m going to try find a different doctor to see because the one I seen I felt didn’t do enough to help me at all. It’s hard because there’s not many who specialise in endo in NI :/ x

[stephersb in reply to Travel19]

Just reading what the others have written and they recommended psychosexual counselling if the lap found no endo. Worth a try anyway and definitely seeing a different GP. Just takes 1 referral and your on the right list of the right people. X

[JOSANDY40 in reply to Travel19]

Hi, There are Special Endo Clinics in the UK. GP can refer you to one. Find 1 near your city.I live in Surrey but mine is in London!

Sounds like your GP is poor with bothering!

Take painkillers 1hr before Sex.

[Travel19 in reply to JOSANDY40]

Thank you

[Anna_EndoUK Moderator in reply to Travel19]

Worth seeing if you can get a referral to a Psychosexual counsellor too (although they are few and far between unfortunately), they can offer you support with painful sex and discuss ways of improving your sex drive etc. xx

[Travel19 in reply to Anna_EndoUK]

Thank you!x

[Bikergal900]

When you experience pain during or after intercourse it can have a real effect on you mentally. The more discomfort you experience automatically causes you to tense up and can lead to a low sex drive as it causes anxiety. I've had a real struggle with this and speaking to a counsellor who specialises in sex counselling could be really good for you.

I would also get another GP's opinion and dont let them fob you off. Yes the NHS is under pressure and waiting times are longer but if you need a gynae referral they should do it.

All the best

[Nic0lers]

I’m going through the exact same as you and at the age of 21 I can agree it puts a strain on the relationship. It definitely helps to communicate with your partner. I’m waiting on an appointment with a psychosexual counsellor aswell as I found that the dread of knowing the extra pain would cause my sex drive to be so low so I would recommend getting referred! I’m also from NI so I know all too well the struggle and how long a referral can be. Depending on your location there is some Gynae in ulster independent clinic although it’s private that are helpful hope this helps

[Cailleach]

Not sure what treatment you’re on just now but when I was on Provera (progesterone ) it definitely had a negative effect on my sex drive. Mirena coil apparently has similar side effects, but I gave up on that quite quickly for other reasons.

I agree with other comments that your doctor doesn’t seem very helpful.