I was undiagnosed for 20 years. I knew I was ill, properly ill. With something. And yet I was still naive enough in those days to believe that the doctors must be right and that I was imaging myself to have 'all sorts of dire medical conditions' as my spring chicken of a GP, barely out of medical school, wrote in one of his referral letters safely hidden from my view tucked inside his well licked envelope. I learned later, as my confidence built with my worsening symptoms and his worsening attitude, the art of steaming them open without a trace. Incidentally my medical records still confirm 15 years after finally being diagnosed that it was all down to a vivid imagination. No application of 'The Good Practice Guidelines for GP electronic patient records' for me that required final validation of all those apparent imaginings as a confirmed diagnosis.
Anyhow, looking back, I realise that I became a very good liar where others were concerned. I think people with chronic health issues just do. You realise after a while that you either have to shut up and repeat 'Oh, I'm OK' to the dreaded 'How are you?' or to face the wall that drops down when you tell the truth, when you say timidly that you feel terrible, to be confronted with the looks and gestures that are screaming 'Oh I'm sorry I asked, please can I just run?'
It is a bewildering thing that those closest to us are so often those who can't cope with our plight when it is they we need the most to comfort us. Or perhaps it isn't bewildering as it is hard for them also and they suffer too, differently and often silently. Or perhaps it comes out as anger. Inevitably this can lead to division between people who once knew each other best of all, be they friends, partners or family. It can lead to false role playing within relationships that become hard to change with fundamental connections lost and irrecoverable. Gosh, I was so good at that. Quite the actress living my life within my head.
Try to catch this before it develops. It is not your fault you are ill. It is a shared illness having a shared impact and implications that require changes that everyone has to accommodate. When your 'others' don't seem willing or able to make the right moves to connect with what you are going through and understand and comfort you in the way you want and the way you need try to overcome any awkwardness or even bitterness that you might feel and be the initiator. The communicator. The one that makes an effort. Perhaps all it needs is that initial effort however hard it may be. If relationships still break down then you will always know you tried your best.
If you do find yourself in this situation there are some really helpful links below that you can read to help you put it all into words. You can read them together. Ultimately all that matters is communicating your feelings and finding a place of mutual understanding...
When others don't understand:
endometriosis.org/.../when-...
What do I tell others about endo:
endometriosis.org/.../telli...
Communications - one way to understand endo
endometriosis.org/.../commu...
Family and partners of those with endo:
Refusing to continue Zoladex, but offering no other suggestions. 
Don't understand why my doctor won't diagnose me with endometriosis
Does anyone ever feel like a hypochondriac? Like people don't believe how ill you feel? 
Hqve you heard this... 'Pregnancy can cure it we don't know why'
Post hysterectomy and dating...when to mention that Ive had this done and why.
