Starting a family to help symptoms

[Yotom]

Hello everyone,

I wanted to ask if anyone ended up changing their life plans to help them overcome some of the stress of “leaving it too late”, or through the encouragement of doctors that having a baby “will help symptoms ease”? It seems that everyone I have seen has always pushed this angle...

I’m about to turn 24 and wanted to have a few more years before starting a family with my long term partner, but it is important to me to raise children. For anyone who has had a child, has it helped with your endo/adeno? I don’t want to have a child before I am ready, only to realise pregnancy and childbirth didn’t make a difference, and then live with the guilt of having a child before I was ready/not having had them when I could provide to the best of my ability. I hope this makes sense? I would love nothing more than to be a mother, but realistically I am not where I want to be in my career, and have not had the chance to do the things I wanted to before becoming a parent.

[Afrohair]

What is of importance to you most ?career or children?having a child won’t cure endo but leaving it long could mean your endo gets worse.

I would just like to point out from my own perspective that life never goes to plan however much you plan even when it comes to your career you may always say wait till I’ve done this or that before trying.if your not ready then don’t thinking endo will get better wait till you are but also my perspective there’s never a right time to have kids and when people say that I always wonder.if you have to pick a time to have kids that time is when your most fertile I’ve had children and I’m currently pregnant again with endo age 34

[Yotom in reply to Afrohair]

I think they’re quite equal... In an ideal world I want to be in a good position career-wise to ensure I can be at home with a child and not struggle financially, whilst being able to provide for their needs. It’s a catch-22! Congratulations on your pregnancy, I hope it’s going well and I wish you the best!

[Afrohair in reply to Yotom]

You will always sacrifice one unfortunately joys of having children and thankyou x

[Linley]

Hi!

I already know that you will be a great mum when the time comes, please accept that I am not being patronising, it's just that your post is very well thought out. I am not one to have a child in the hope Endo eases, at the time I had Endo the Gynae never suggested it as an option he tried hard to keep me pain free and keep the Endo controlled. I was 10 years older than you at that point. Yes, it maybe harder to conceive or you maybe able to have children like my Endo buddy at the age of 32 she now has two girls. Treatments have come along way so there is always high hope that you will become a mum but only you can decide. Wish you well and big hug🤗

[Yotom in reply to Linley]

Thank you, I really appreciate your kindness. I wonder if age has anything to do with it as I’ve never seen anyone who hasn’t mentioned it! I asked for an explanation the last time it happened and I was told that many women find that pregnancy suppressed their endo and for some, the effects are quite long lasting beyond birth/breastfeeding. Congratulations to your friend, it’s always so lovely to hear when things work out!

[Rjb_88]

Hey, I don’t want to be negative as for some women I think having a baby does really help them. For me, it didn’t. My son has just turned one and my endo started again a couple months after he was born. I’m about the start prostap and HRT. If the time isn’t right for you to have a baby then don’t do it yet

Just also to say that it isn’t always hard for endo women to get pregnant - I tried four years ago and it didn’t happen and then we decided to wait.. fast forward two years and I was pregnant the first month of trying, so it isn’t always a hard journey!

Live your life and have a baby when you are ready for it xx

[Yotom in reply to Rjb_88]

Thank you for the honesty, I’d definitely rather hear from women who have actually experienced it rather than suggestions from doctors that it would be beneficial and no real stats! I’m sorry to hear it didn’t help, but I hope that the presence of your baby boy is able to carry you through. Hopefully a baby is on the cards when the time is right, I always worry about not being able to conceive but time will tell! X

[Rjb_88 in reply to Yotom]

Aw thanks. He is a dream and completely worth still having it - the ten months without pain was also lovely!

I do think that it works for some women but that alone can’t be enough reason to have a baby if you and your life isn’t ready yet.

I was told my my specialist that the prostap is a temporary menopause and you can get pregnant afterwards so if you get to the point of discussing it then that could be an option for you x

[Yotom in reply to Rjb_88]

10 months must be a dream coming from constant pain I imagine! I think on paper I’m very much ready, I just feel like I’m too young and haven’t quite experienced much esp as I went straight from college to uni and into a full time job without having a break to go travel etc... it sounds so silly but it feels a priority to experience some life first as I want to be 100% present for any future child(ren) I have rather than longing to have had them later. Thank you for mentioning Prostap, I have an appt next month so will definitely mention it then!

[Rjb_88 in reply to Yotom]

That’s how I felt the first time we tried, on paper everything was good for having a baby but we needed to live life a bit, travel, renovate our house and get a bit further in my career first. I’m so glad I did, those extra three years we had so much fun and did so much x

[Yotom in reply to Rjb_88]

I hope I look back on my choices and feel the same way in a few years, I wish you all the best! X

[dolly26]

It all depends on what feels right for you. There really is no right time to have a baby. I was 24 when I was diagnosed with endo so me and my partner started to try then at 26 I had another lap (different consultant) where endo was actually excised and managed to fall pregnant with my little girl 4 months later. We have been trying from she was 6 months old and she will be 5 next month and it hasn’t happened again also my endo has got worse over that time I am now 2 years waiting for another lap and excision. It’s never an easy decision to have a baby but sometimes you just need to take a leap of faith.

[Yotom in reply to dolly26]

I’m sorry to hear that it didn’t work out ideally for you, but I’m glad that you have a lovely girl despite it all! Did you have insufficiency excision the first time? I hope you find the thing that helps you manage, I’m so early in my problem solving after being fobbed off for over a decade... thank you for commenting, I think a middle ground might be better - not wait until 30 but definitely hold off for now until I feel comfortable in my personal and financial situation.

[dolly26 in reply to Yotom]

It turned out at my first lap that the consultant didn’t excise what he has found because when my surgeon that I have now went in told me it was a complete mess and it shouldn’t of been like that in the space of 2 years if the other surgeon had of done it properly.

So one piece of advice is so your homework regarding surgeons. I was fortunate to learn about my new surgeon through my work if it wasn’t for him I wouldn’t have my daughter and I know that for sure.