Explaining endo to family

[Laumcd]

Has anyone got any tips for trying to help your parents (particularly dad) understand Endometriosis? My dad doesn’t seem to get that I won’t magically get better..

My family are Christian-ish. My dad is very much on the side of healing through prayer and lighting candles etc. I am religious too, in fact I want to be a priest but that’s another story, but I just don’t feel like this is an option. Like I’m trying to accept that I’m going to be in pain the majority of the time and I’m not going to get better and having this constant battle with my family about it is tiring.

[Brambledoggy]

You’re going through enough without a battle with your family too. This is not something to battle about because it’s a condition you neither asked for or wanted. Why don’t you leave a book on Endometriosis lying around or if you’re feeling a bit braver, actually hand it to him and ask him to read it. Or give it your Mum and she can be on your side too? Might that help his understanding? I don’t know. 😔 There are also PDF leaflets on the charity websites on explaining our condition to friends and family and I feel they’re pretty informative and useful. Maybe print one and put it on his bedside table along with his candles.......

[Ginge32]

I’d be interested to know if anyone does have any good links etc because my fiancé does not understand that I have more than a bellyache and surgery was not a forever cure! X

[wanwood]

Links to the Endometriosis web site and other suggestions sound good so I won’t duplicate them.

For what it’s worth, I am a Christian, and your dad’s theology of healing doesn’t sound right to me, and he is not being helpful to you. I don’t know if explaining how serious and chronic the condition is will help if the problem is his worldview. It’s very clear in the Bible that complete physical healing in this life is not for everyone for everything in all situations and this is not a reflection on the faith of the sick person.

Also can I give you some hope? Not everyone with severe endo is in pain the majority of the time. No, you won’t be miraculously healed, but hopefully you will find some treatment that works for you to keep the symptoms under control or more bearable and makes life more manageable. It’s ok for you to pray that you will feel better and experience some relief without being in denial of the reality of this condition. And maybe to ask for wisdom when dealing with your family!

It’s tough, all of this. Thoughts and prayers x

[Simo7]

I heard someone tell their father that Endo can be compared to the rust under a car bonnet, if there’s a little rust left un-treated it’ll continue to spread! The analogy may help. Good Dads want to fix things for their children. Maybe his feelings are a mixture of trying to help you and his own futility at not being able to make this better for you. I know it can be wearing when others want to keep offering solutions to Endo when there aren’t any, there’s only management of the condition. Allow your Dad to be optimistic for you (it may be his way of coping) and though I’m not religious I do believe that the power of thought/prayer can help people. Ask him to keep sending healing to you, but like wanwood stated it doesn’t mean you’ll be ‘cured’ so explain that to him, it may take away the confrontation & the stress that you both feel. Good luck

[StefaniaJW]

Tell him every time you have your period you have severe internal bleeding.

I think everyone understands what internal bleeding is so this might help them understand everything more straightforwardly.