Dismissive surgeons/docs

[MelonMelon]

I had an exam and internal scan yesterday from the surgeon and although he was bubbly and friendly, afterwards I was shaking like a leaf and wanted to cry. This has happened before with exams and even just speaking appointments but it seems to be with men, I just find some of them so dismissive, and it makes me so mad and frustrated. This guy was saying how endo is not going to kill me so it's really on me if I have surgery, and was just waggling round this scan probe and chatting away taking his sweet time while I was uncomfortable and had my bits on view to him and a student and a nurse. It's just so humiliating sometimes but I really feel that they could have a bit more compassion and discretion sometimes. I am honestly grateful for the help I get and soooo glad the NHS is free, but I was in agony last night feeling like he'd blended my insides, and while I was lying awake all I could think of was all the dismissive things docs have said to me. I've had this disease and not realised for 20 years, because doctors thought I was "bad with pain" or "of a certain age" and even now with a completely frozen pelvis it seems I'm still being told not to be a wuss.

Sorry for the rant, just feel so crappy and emotional about it today. Thanks if you got to the end!!

[Red727]

This is horrible to hear. I'm so sorry your doctors are making you feel like this. I know you must be in so much pain. If you're really not liking how your consultant is treating your condition then please don't be afraid to go back to your GP and ask for a referral to somewhere else. Are you at a BSGE centre? If not then ask for a referral to one. If you have a frozen pelvis a BSGE specialist endometrosis clinic would definitely be a great place for you to be.

Wishing you all the best x

[MelonMelon in reply to Red727]

Thank you so much Red. Yes it's a proper centre and a really high level expert, so I'm not sure I can change, but maybe if I'm more assertive I can suggest no students, and maybe have some responses ready for what I think is appropriate, like "that's making me feel very uncomfortable" maybe? Maybe they just don't realise? Definitely should be more confident in arguing my case after so long

[Flipsyfloof]

Been there. I feel we should stop rationalizing these bad behaviors. These people are getting payed to provide therapy, end of story. They should keep their lame opinions to themselves. I agree with you, "that's making me feel very uncomfortable" is a start. I have decided not to negotiate my pain anymore. You are not alone, I wish you get well soon.

[MelonMelon in reply to Flipsyfloof]

You're completely right, thank you.