A bit of a rant ... maybe I’m just being too sensitive

[Joely21]

Ahhhhh sorry for the rant here ladies .... am I the only one that get seriously fed up with people saying ‘it’s about time you tried for a baby isn’t it’ ‘when are you going to try for children etc’ am I just being too sensitive or does this bother others as well? I feel like it’s the worst question/statement to ask and it’s coming from people who have a very good understanding of my condition. Like seriously if it was that easy don’t they think I would’ve tried by now ahhhhh sorry if I sound ridiculous but you lovely ladies make it easier to rant to xx

[AllthatGlitters]

No you are not being too sensitive. I posted on here a while ago about people asking me when i am going to start a family or if I have children already. It’s like sod off!! My family and friends who know what I am going through don’t say anything now but it’s strangers who ask all the time. It really annoys me as I prefer to say I don’t want children whereas my husband says we can’t have children (to me it’s nobodys business)!!!! This upsets me as I get the look of pity as though to say “oh it must be your fault that you can’t have children “.

When asked tell people a simple no, make them feel awkward and they will soon change the subject.

Society seems to think if you have a vagina you should be producing children! Some of us can’t have, some of us don’t want, some don’t even have a partner.

Most people I know who have children moan constantly that they are tired, no money, no life and things between them and their husbands are not great. Certainly not what everyone wants!

That’s my rant over ....

X

[Joely21]

Thank you for your reply, I felt like I was being sensitive at first but it gets ridiculous now.

I think I will go with that approach from now on as I get fed up of feeling like I have to justify myself all the time.

Your exactly right everyone just expects us to have children!

Thank you for your rant it has helped and cheered me up xx

[AllthatGlitters in reply to Joely21]

Glad it helped and remember you are entitled to a private life, all the nosey people can poke their beaks in somewhere else x

[Gwen172]

People are so insensitive. Why do they do that. Used to make me so mad!!😡

[Nellie22]

Definitely not being too sensitive. It's usually meant well but that's always one of the first questions people ask and I have a stock jokey answer I roll out everytime. I wish I could be more honest but it's still a bit of a sensitive subject and I don't want to share my personal stuff with everyone thats asks about kids. xx

[BonitaBB]

I completely echo everything everyone above has written, and feel the same as you. We havnt started trying yet as it's not the right time, but I've been told with stage 3 (mostly in my ovaries) it's very likely we will have issues....its so difficult when you know something you want could be out of your grasp, and people keep asking you when you're going to have kids like it's the easiest thing in the world for people to get pregnant!!!! It's amazing how often it happens, family, friends, work etc. At the moment it feels like almost a weekly occurance...i can cope when my pain is less bad and my mood is ok, but when it's not, it can really bring it all to the surface..

Well done rosem6 for using it to educate and being honest, I hope on the future that will be me too!! Currently I don't feel I want people around me scrutinizing my fertility as it feels like more pressure !

[Lucylu_88]

I honestly think it's one of the rudest things people do. Is it any of their business? Absolutely not! People just don't think. I do wonder if my feelings on this are because of what we've been through but still!xx

[jennt0506]

It's nobody's business. People ask that infuriate me too, a friend who is infertile and has only recently found out, and is coming to terms with it, was asked recently and it ruined her night. They're insensitive, you're not too sensitive. x

[Joely21]

Thank you all for your replies and different perspectives, I suppose the hardest part is I’m a nursery worker and just hope one day I will have children of my own, I love and care for the children I look after like they are my own, people just presume because you work with children that your fine to have kids at the drop of a hat, it’s also hard when it’s the same 2 inconsiderate people asking me every single week, I feel like before long I will lose my cool but that’s not me as a person if that makes sense.

I hope to become confident enough soon to talk about my condition but I just feel some people don’t care and are just nosey when they feel like something is going wrong.

Sorry to blab on having an awful day pain wise with random new symptoms and you lovely ladies make it that bit easier xx