My partner doesn't understand : So since I... - Endometriosis UK

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My partner doesn't understand

Evalina93 profile image
2 Replies

So since I had my cyst operation and the endo was found quite by accident, I have been doing my best to get on with life and not think about it too much.

However my partner doesn't seem to understand how I feel about the whole thing. He asked today 'why I am worried about it (endo).' I tried to explain to get him to empathise but I'm not having much luck!

How can I get him to understand that just because I am not a sobbing heap in the corner does not mean that I am not concerned about the endo?

(it's been a pretty rough year so far, and I am not an overly emotive person, but I do get stressed about the prospect of difficulty having kids, future surgery, etc, and my partner doesn't understand why I worry when none of those things are happening right now. I eventually tried to equate it to one of his balls not working but that still didn't seem to work....)

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Evalina93 profile image
Evalina93
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2 Replies
AnnaSW11 profile image
AnnaSW11

I don't think many people do get it to be honest. I had a cyst removed last year via keyhole surgery and that's when I was diagnosed with endometriosis. I threw myself back into normal life right after - I had a very busy job and social life at the time - but it was always in the background. On my follow up appointment months later I was told that the best thing to do to stop endo coming back was to get pregnant. I had no partner at the time (well, I'd been dating someone who fell off the radar that very same month) and also lost my job the same month. Suddenly I had to deal with it all, and all very much on my own though my parents were supportive. I had a complete breakdown! It took me a few months to get back to normal and last week I was told I have another cyst again. It's a rollercoaster and there isn't a lot of support really. You're fortunate you have your partner at least - even if he hasn't been as understanding as you would have hoped. Good luck with everything.

AllthatGlitters profile image
AllthatGlitters

Hello could you write down exactly how the condition makes you feel & how it effects you, give it to your partner to read. Also there are NHS documents online about various conditions as to what they are, how they are treated, symptoms, print one off & also let your partner see this.

It’s often difficult to get others to understand, they may do to a certain extent however not fully as they are not going through it. That’s why I came on this site. To speak to others who are going through gynae issues, you don’t feel so alone then.

I didn’t always want to speak to my husband, friends or family as they can’t relare to it however you may find it useful to post on here instead. Lots of lovely people on here who know exactly how you feel and always willing to give you advice x

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