Feeling low and my husband doesn't get it... :(

[gemp54]

Hi everyone, sorry for the pointless post but I just really needed to talk to someone. So I am waiting on a gynaecologist appointment at the moment to see if I have Endo but it seems likely. I've had lower back and pelvic pain since the birth of my son 9 months ago. I also had prolonged bleeding which is when I had a scan (that didn't explain the bleeding) and Endo was first mentioned. Having looked it up I seem to relate to a lot of the other symptoms. I've not had any of them severely but I've had most of them on and off mildly at least for years. My gynaecologist appointment isn't for another 7 weeks but in the mean time the back ache and pelvic pain continues and I'm finding it hard to get through the day not knowing what this is and looking after a 3 year old and a 9month old! My husband also is on shifts so I do most of the child care at the moment as I'm on maternity leave.

The problem is that he just doesn't get why I'm so low and upset all the time. The pain is horrible but not crippling. Its more the fact that its almost constant and having just had my period its currently at its worst. He doesn't seem to understand why I can just ignore it and stop worrying until I have my appointment and find out more.

I've tried explaining and he said he gets it but I can tell he really doesn't so I go through each day saying I'm fine when he asks even though I'm not. I don't really have anyone else I can talk to about this which is making it harder. I cant wait until my appointment now to hopefully feel like I'm making progress!

Sorry rant over, I just felt like I had to get that out!

Xx

[Mummy1982]

Hi lovely.

Sorry to hear that you are suffering from pain. What have you been given to help with your pain? Unfortunately there is always a wait to see a gynaecology, I don't know how much you have read about endometriosis but the only way to get the diagnosis of endometriosis is to have a laparoscopy, there is normally a wait of 18 weeks for this surgery , unless you are having treatment privately.

I would try and get some more effective pain relief from your Dr, are you currently on the contraceptive pill as this can sometimes control the heavy bleeding? Xx

[gemp54 in reply to Mummy1982]

Hi, to be honest I was just told to take paracetamol and maybe ibuprofen if I need it. I don't really have heavy bleeding to be honest, I sometimes do but then other times its normal but usually always very painful. Luckily its stopped at the moment but I find the increased pain seems to last a week or so after my period ends then goes back to the usual mild but persistent pain. Unfortunately the next appointment is only likely to be where I'm told if they recommend a lap or not so plenty more time to wait after that x

[Mummy1982 in reply to gemp54]

If the pain is bad and the paracetamol and ibuprofen aren't controlling the pain for you, you should see you Dr as there are more effective painkillers that could help, as I understand that the pain reqlly brings you down. Yes i agree I saw my consultant after a 8 week wait and then had another 18 week wait before the laparoscopy. I think it's important you have some relief during the waiting time for you pain. Xx

[gemp54 in reply to Mummy1982]

Thanks, I'll see if I can get an appointment for something a bit more effective. I just wish it didn't all take so long and I guess although I don't want it to be Endo at the same time I'm worried it wont be that and I'll be back to square one trying to figure out what it is. Xx

[Mummy1982 in reply to gemp54]

Yes i was worried when I had mine that they would say they hadn't found anything. Yes unfortunately there is a lot of waiting involved in the diagnosis. Hope you get some relief from the pain hun xx

[gemp54 in reply to Mummy1982]

Thanks for the reply, it just makes me feel better having someone to talk to. Really appreciate it xx

[Mummy1982 in reply to gemp54]

That's alright hun.

I'm glad it helps x

[Mabes]

I agree about getting more effective pain relief. Being in chronic pain really affects one's mood, and especially if one can't sleep because of it. I don't think anyone can understand unless they also suffer chronic pain.... It's very wearing.

Perhaps your hubby could take over so you can have a lie in or the afternoon off to take care of yourself when he has his day off (not sure if he works weekends as you said shifts)? Or could you get one of the grandparents to take your children for a bit so that you can rest?

[vince4812]

Hi ive been in the same situation as your husband and i really didnt get what my wife was going through until i sat down and started reading for myself, she used to say everything was fine when now i realise it wasnt, its only since she stopped doing this that i realised how much it affects her life, if he thinks it not affecting you then he wont think about it at all, this is just how us men work unfortuantly.

[gemp54 in reply to vince4812]

Thanks vince4812. Its good to get a mans perspective on it! I have sent him some links to the endometriosis uk website but he's not much of a reader so it might take a bit of persuasion to get him to read it! I think he thinks he understands it so doesn't feel he needs to read it but I can tell he doesn't really understand so hopefully he will! Xx