How to come to terms?

[Coops1109]

Sorry if this sounds like whiney moan but I’m not sure who else would understand.

I have a 10 year old son (so I know I’m incredibly lucky already and I’m so grateful to have him) but we’ve always wanted to give him a sibling. Husband and I started trying for number 2 in 2011 and nothing happened. We had all the tests and it came back as “unexplained secondary infertility.” We kept trying but nothing happened. Fast forward to last summer and my periods went crazy - ridiculously heavy and lasting weeks at a time. To cut a long story short I had a lap in January and was diagnosed with endo. I was advised to have the mirena but I wasn’t ready to totally give up on the hope of another baby so I was told it would be fine to give it another year or so of trying and the lap should have controlled the period issues until at least then. I got ONE month without period problems then they came back as bad as ever.

So, I agreed to go on the pill - I was never going to conceive while bleeding constantly so it seemed sensible to be on the pill and stop the period misery of that was the case. However, I can’t get past the thought of not having another baby. Everywhere I look I seem to see pregnant women and tiny newborns and it literally crushes me every single time. I don’t think hubby gets it, he just sees it that we have a child already. I’m 38 so I know I have to accept it’s not going to happen but I feel like such a failure, like my body has just completely let me down.

[Charliebh12]

Hi Coops1109,

I'm so sorry to read your post and that you are emotionally ( and physically) in pain.

Have you had your endo excised or ablated? The pill, mirena etc doesn't treat the endo it just dumbs down the symptoms if it works at all. If you saw an excision specialist/endo specialist they may be able to help you. You can find accredited centres on the bsge.

I have one child, I couldn't fall pregnant at all until I had my endo properly treated by a specialist and I was 38 when I fell pregnant.

I don't want to raise your hopes because we are all different but I would definitely suggest seeing a gynae that specialises in endometriosis and surgery and express you would like another child. They may be able to help and if they can't at least your quality of life will be much better.

I hope this helps x