Jan 2015 i had a Hysterectomy to help improve my symptoms from Endo, so far so good, i have had very little pain (i was taking morphine, Pethidine, Dihydrocodine and naproxen + sleeping tablets) for the pain before my surgery.
Since my surgery alot has changed, my husband and i split up due to the strain me being sick had on our relationship and the reality of not having children.
My mum cant understand why i don,t want to be more involved with my niece who's 7 but the last 2 Christmas's she has tried to include me in things that are very family/child orientated which i just don,t feel comfortable with. Last year it was visiting the garden center and seeing all the kids queuing to see Santa that sent me into a spiral which ended up with me now taking anti-depressants, the thought of Christmas this year has made me go and up the dose of my tablets as i just felt like i couldn't cope. So yesterday we went of a girls day to the Christmas carnival type thing with my mum and niece and again i feel like i cant connect at all. I feel distant and don't want to be a part of it. Not because i don't love my niece or want to spend time with her but the constant reminders of what i don't have and cant have is hard for me. I feel like a failure and struggle to find a direction for my life at the moment. Has anyone been through similar and have any advice?