Endometriosis UK
34,662 members • 30,916 posts

In tears right now. 😭

I'm absolutely upset and in tears right now one of my friend has lost her baby recently and brought her home to have a burial at home. I'm so upset. Just can't even imagine how she is feeling. I'm really upset this has effected me a lot. I can't stop thinking of her. Is there anything I can do to support her. I have sent her a few message just I'm in tears. Anything please. X

6 Replies
oldest • newest

I think she just needs to know that you care and you’re sad for her. She might appreciate a gift but may not be ready for a visit so perhaps something that can be delivered rather than something you take. 😭

Reply

Thank you. I'm in tears. Can't get my head round it. I knew she was ill and in hospital but she had to give

Birth to her baby. 😭😭 I'm can't stop crying xx

Reply

I’ve had two friends who have lost babies and both times I think being there for them to talk when they are ready is the most important thing. It’s good to do something like go for a walk with them... people open up better when they’re doing something like walking rather than just sitting chatting face to face. But it will probably be a little way down the line before she is ready to talk, so just make sure she knows you are there x

1 like
Reply

Thank you. I can't stop crying. Xx I might pop round with some flowers tomorrow. Just want her to know I'm

Here. Xx

Reply

Hello

It’s awful when we loose a child or someone close does

I lost twins at 7 months old cot death both of them 26 yrs ago and my husband lost a little boy on Xmas eve 38 yrs ago aged 3 months old

And I found that friends crossed over in the street and didn’t call me and he said the same the men were the worst sorry mate and then stop calling it’s nerves woth people

So I went to see them we cried and hugged and they said they were sorry but they just didn’t no what to say to me.... they didnt want to say anything that may have upset me... I told them this look... all I needed was to no u we’re there

All I wanted was my babies

but my friends as well my family and to no when I needed to talk you were there my husbands marriage broke up as they both felt it was there fault..... both since remarried obviously but it’s always there ....

So I suggest you send you’re fried a card or call her and say I know right now you may not be able to see the light at the end of the tunnel but I want you to no I am here for day or night anytime whatsoever in a hour a day a week a month a year you never no when you’re going to need someone and I’ll be there for you

It’s a horrible awful thing a baby dying but all one can do is be there let them

Offload and Take anything they say with a pinch of salt if there nasty to you they don’t mean it just be there that’s all anyone can do and eventually they will see light at the end of the tunnel and they will start to rebuild there lives

A baby can never ever be replaced but you learn to live with a death of any age

Mine would have been nearly 27 now and I talk about them all the time my daughter is 28 and son is 31 they always say mum Imagine if and mum the twins would have had this/ that: been to etc etc etc and you’re friend will eventually be able to move forward

I say every day babies lost are angels there only lent to us, someone else needed them and for that I’m great Ful that there in heaven and happy

And one day you’re friend will be able to feel the pain go the memories never do but the pain eventually eases I’m

So very sorry for you’re friends loss sweetheart .💕

Just be there xxxx

4 likes
Reply

Be a rock for her, sweetie. Let her know you’re there. Be there.

People act strangely around bereavement: it makes them worry they’ll upset the person by bringing it up. She’ll have the added hurt of people avoiding her and acting uncomfortable around her. Her world has fallen apart. She needs a strong and loving support network.

Give her lots of love. Do things for her: make her some meals, hug her, visit if she’s able to have visitors.

My friend lost her baby five or so years ago. She cries when she speaks of him. It will always hurt her. She goes to bereavement group sessions as an extra layer of support. x

1 like
Reply

You may also like...