Work and endo

Sorry this will be a bit of a rant, but I'm so annoyed at my work. I'm due to have a laparoscopy on 8th August and obviously, I don't know how long I'll be off afterwards. I told work about this on the day I booked the operation in mid June. This afternoon my boss finally decides it might be worth scheduling a catch up with me about my work before I go off. She's scheduled it for my last day in the office. Ok, but she follows up with 'but it's ok because I can always call you while you're off. I know you're having an operation, but there's nothing wrong with your brain'.

This boss has recently been off work herself and took regular calls to discuss things. However, this was her choice as she wouldn't let anyone else take responsibility for her projects whilst she was off. I'm so annoyed that now I will potentially have to field calls whilst recovering because they can't organise themselves and presumably because my manager did it, it's ok for me to do it.

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  • You don't have to take work calls while you're at home recovering from an operation. If you did it would be your choice, you cannot be compelled to do this. The time off after the op should be for resting and recovering. It's unlikely that you'll feel up to taking work calls, at least in the first days after your op xxx

  • Thanks Janine. Honestly I'm so annoyed, but I feel like if I don't I'll be badly thought of...after all my boss did it. They shouldn't be expecting to be able to call me and ask me work questions.

    It's just the latest issue. When I told her about my op, my boss said 'Is it your lady bits? Is it your lady bits again? Will you have your feet up in those stirrup things?'

  • Wow! She seems like a piece of work!

    Maybe if you can't charge her just make her think you will bill her for it? Threaten sort of? Test the waters as it might make her back off.

  • When I had my first lap I was 20 and working in marks and Spencer's, I had 2 weeks off and my manager didn't believe I had surgery and made me show him the scars. I was horrified

  • OMG that's awful!

  • Yesterday was interesting. I asked a colleague some careful questions and it sparked a long conversation with her. She was horrified that this boss was planning to ask me work questions while I'm off and long story short she now knows that this manager treats me differently to the rest of the team. She said that although she hasn't been like that with her, she could imagine this boss behaving as she is. I feel better that someone else in the team knows about it and can see things for what they are and this colleague is completely trustworthy so no problem there.

    I have two managers and I'm going to have a very carefully worded conversation with the other one next week because aside from the op issue I can see that my 'other' boss is really pushing me to develop, but the cow is very carefully trying to block my development. I have a plan, I just need to execute it very carefully ☺

  • I would turn my phone off. You have absolutely no obligation to answer calls or do any work of any kind while recovering from an operation!!

  • I'll get arsey comments when I get back. Oh jeez. I'm thinking of saying 'I know you mentioned calling me after my operation, but I really don't know how I'm going to feel so I may not feel up to it. It might be better to make sure you have the info you need before I go off'. What do you think?

  • Yes!!! Absolutely say something before you go! Honestly, all you'll want to do is sleep for the first week! Xx

  • I agree with others you will need to rest your work have no right to ask you to do that. I was exhausted the first week after my op ( endo implants were removed) and spent most of the time asleep. Your health is more important and you should put you first. Good luck with your laparoscopy xoxo

  • Thanks Jess. I am so angry that instead of planning properly with the six weeks they've known, they plan to call me. I feel under pressure now that I might have to think about work and possibly log on who knows when after my op? It's very unfair.

  • I would be selfish and put yourself first-can you get hubby go man the phone and tell her you are sleeping ( even if you're not!) and recovering from your surgery. Might spark some guilt! You done your part you have plenty of notice. I would be very tempted to contact HR and I think that will silence her. She cannot get away with treating people like that. xoxo

  • I don't have a hubby. I'm not being pressured into working because she did and neither of my managers (I have two and they've both known since mid-June) have thought about how they'll cover it. This is poor planning and I'm determined my health will not be sacrificed. I'm writing everything down. She's completely out of order as far as I'm concerned. I think I'm going to say 'you talked about calling me after my op to ask me about work and I will try to help if I can, but I just don't know how well I'll be, so you can't rely on me whilst I'm off'. This way I can't be thought of as not committed or whatever, I've said I'll try, but made it very clear that they can't expect to contact me

    Seriously though. Plan - get better, get new job.

    Gx

  • Sorry didn't mean to cause any offence. I am just really shocked by your boss's behaviour I have never heard of any employee being harassed after surgery- I'm not even sure that is legal.Good for you- your health is way more important than any job. I wish you well with the laparoscopy I hope it goes Well. You get as much rest as you need. Just because the incisions are small doesn't mean the work they do inside you is. xoxo

  • No offence taken at all. It would sometimes be nice to have someone fighting my corner that's all, but I have my Mum :-)

    Well last year she said 'even you aren't that stupid'. That's a direct quote. Like I said, she hides this behaviour very well...

    I'm annoyed that now I'm stressed about this, which I really don't need. Three weeks after my lap, my Mum is having a hysterectomy and I need to help her. Neither of us have anybody else. I really don't need work being @rseholes as well, but I'm writing things down.

    I really appreciate all the support I've got here :-)

    x

  • An angry livid mother is far more scary then any husband!!!! 😏 Definitely look for another job she sounds like a cow!! I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this on top of health worries and your mum's upcoming surgery xoxo

  • I think your wording is really diplomatic and I can't believe how crass she is being. HR would probably have a heart attacks. Definitely turn your phone off and set some boundaries it may be her choice as a more senior manager but you aren't that grade and even if you were it's a personal choice. She clearly has no idea what an operation does to you.

    My boss has begged me to just let her know how I am promised not to mention work and spoke to my hubby to organise a gift. Your boss is no leader and should be ashamed of herself.

  • She's very careful about what she says in front of people and what she says 121, Starry. Someone did leave the team very abruptly just before I started and wrote a long list of issues with her sending it to her boss and HR, but everyone else seems to think she's great.

    I was horrified. If a man had made those initial comments, I would have wanted to make a complaint. To me that's the test - if it's clearly inappropriate for a man to say it, then it's inappropriate for a woman too.

    Exactly - it was her choice to take calls whilst off, my decision is that my health comes first.

    Your boss sounds great BTW ☺

    Take care of you x

  • Can you get advice from your HR department. Finish work & don't answer any calls.

    Agreed nothing wrong with your brain maybe something wrong with your boss's brain! God forbid she should ever suffer from endo or endo related problems.

    Take your time going back your health comes first & legally a dr's not is the final say! Speak with your GP post surgery don't rush & risk falling poorly, making your recovery worse

    Good luck

  • Lol! She really doesn't get it and I've already had issues with her, so I don't think this is entirely endo related - it's just an easy way to get at me.

    I've contacted the HR helpdesk to ask some questions about what is required in terms of a note, because she was telling me yesterday that I would HAVE to self certify for the first 7 days. I'm sure that's so that I have to call in every day, so I'm checking it with HR. Once I get advice on that, I might play innocent and ask a question about taking work calls whilst off sick.

    Gx

  • You absolutely don't have to self cert. your hospital on discharge provides you with a sick note for the whole duration of the surgeons specified recovery time. I have mine from my discharge today. Photo it, email nasty boss and HR then switch phone off. X x x

  • To be honest, if she makes you take calls I would write down every time date and duration and then charge her for it as it's technically work... and you are off sick. Your brain will be all over the place.

  • Good point. I'm not sure I'd charge her. I'd be rich if I did, but I think I'll definitely write them down. The thing is I called her while she was off sick, but that is because she insisted on still having oversight of everything and sitting at a computer aggravated her back. It was her decision, but I'm worried she might try to twist that round. The whole team were aware of the situation though and tried to persuade her to step back from work for her recover, so I'd hope that wouldn't happen.

    Gx

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