Endometriosis UK

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No one is understanding

Im having a really hard time lately, feeling like crap but still working a full time job 5 days a week in the city.

I have a long commute, but have been taking some time off recently as I have been struggling! But now my job is calling a meeting about my attendance even though i have providing hospital letters etc im still in the process of being properly diagnosed as im currently just 'suspected endo' , i feel like i am going to loose my job and on top of this my boyfriend wants to break up with me because im not the woman i was when he met me.

Im struggling to find why everyone in my life cant understand what im going through, i dont have any support in terms of family and friends other than my mum.

Im only 20 but im living like a 60 year old, i dont know how to feel better about myself.

Written by

Eclarke

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14 Replies

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6 years ago

I'm sorry to hear you're feeling like this and do understand how you feel.

Do you mind me asking what stage you are at in receiving treatment? X

Eclarke in reply to 6 years ago

Hi Janine, I am meeting with gyno next week to discuss first laparoscopy. x

sgalg20106 years ago

Firstly you are not alone!!! Really you aren't!!

Secondly I'd advise you to go to HR regarding your rights to be off work for appointments! Possibly if your job enables can you work from home a day or two a week?

If work aren't supportive for you to be off work can I advise to speak to your GP about potentially being signed off if you feel you can't go to work.

Thirdly please remember this had a huge impact on your SO as it does you. I can imagine he is very worried for you I can't tell you enough that you both need to do research and go from there. Ask him to go to appointments with you this may make him feel he understands what's going on better!

Good luck at your gynea appointment.

I promise you however isolated and horrible you are feeling right now it won't last long!! Keep positive and thankful you're getting your investigations done!

Eclarke in reply to sgalg20106 years ago

Thanks for your kind words.

My HR department are absolutely awful they never call/email back etc, and I cant afford to be signed off as they only pay sick pay.

As for my relationship he does try to understand, but what annoys him is that im all ways too tired to do anything and he says i dont make an effort with my appearance anymore, but at the weekend its my recovery time and i dont see why i should wake up put a full face of make up on do my hair if i just want to relax on the sofa!

I do feel like im a bit depressed and in a bit of a rut but i dont know how to help myself!

sgalg2010 in reply to Eclarke6 years ago

We've all been in that rut but before you label yourself depressed just take a deep breath. It's a challenging time and one that really can knock it out of you. The lethargy is honestly just awful but try keeping plenty of energy boosting foods in the house and plenty of water. I've just read about omega3 being useful for energy too so I'm going to try that!

It's difficult to understand and see his point when he's not in chronic pain - and I totally get that. But he loves you and doesn't want to loose you and obviously you're not doing great right now perhaps he thinks encouraging you to do the things you used to do may make you feel better?

Maybe contact citizens advice they may be able to help you?!

Eclarke in reply to sgalg20106 years ago

I think i fell better once a plan is put into place im stressing myself out more because they still havent confirmed how bad it is or where its effecting etc. Yes i have also heard good things about omega 3 im going to try and incorporate it into my diet.

Yeah i suppose i didnt really see it that way round and it does make sense and i would probably feel better about myself if i took more care over my appearance.

Yes, i think i will contact them!

Thanks so much, you've made me feel much better x

sgalg2010 in reply to Eclarke6 years ago

It's so difficult to get your head around your so's emotions when yours are so all over the place!

Btw if you are feeling totally exhausted try to nap for 20 minutes or just rest any more can leave you feeling worse but I find 20/30 mins on the sofa eyes shut not necessarily sleeping but resting can be a god send!!!

Good luck!!

ktsb6 years ago

Sorry you are feeling so down, you've got lots of good advice there in previous replies. I just wanted to say don't feel like you're alone, there are loads of us who know exactly how pants you feel, I've never posted on here without having a sympathetic ear respond. It makes a big difference being in touch with people who understand.

It will get better at some point, you are doing all the right things, keep talking to people on here. Look after yourself, we're all with you in spirit xxx

Eclarke in reply to ktsb6 years ago

Thanks for your kind words xxx

Starry6 years ago

Hey x i am in a similar place. I commute over an hour to work. Today I agreed a reduced working week to 4 days to hopefully avoid getting too much sick time on my HR record. plan is i can sleep sleep all day and get recovery time to get quality of life and time with Sig other back. Is that something you could explore direct with your boss if hr and bad. Endo can be classed as a disability as it's incurable if symptoms are severe so prioritize the diagnosis.

My hubby and I are close and it has still taken him 9 months to actually get how sick i really am. We can't sleep together any more either due to cervix pain. It will test your relationship but communicate a lot. That's all you can do. X

A few partner links I shared with hubby along the way.

braave.org/4-huge-mistakes-...

hormonesmatter.com/endometr...

antonia-boyton.net/men-and-...

youngwomenshealth.org/2013/...

Eclarke in reply to Starry6 years ago

Hey, thanks so much for sending, the links are really good and i will defo share with my partner! I have a meeting with my managers next week so it might be something that i can discuss then regarding a 4 day week. xxx