the world is against me

[rachyroo1234]

Reacently I have felt like the world is against me all my family and friends I have no support its now got to that time that it is now taking its toll on me. my dad sees me as a waste of time and space and has ago at me as im signed off compleatly as I am stage 4 case my mum was supporting me but recently she is haveing ago at me as well. I feel so alone and its getting to me. why am I here why am I even bothing with my life anymore as all that is happerning is im getting treated like crap from friends and family. On friday I got to fake a smile as its my brothers birthday weekend and since he does not live at home he does not know what is going on. I really want to tell him but I dont want to worry him with my problems. Ok we are close but not close enough to tell him how I feel about how i feel. I feel trapped,alone and worthless .Has anyone else felt like this?

[Disneygirl]

Yes I have and still do. I started counselling last week and that is already helping. The pain is so bad and when you put it together with the low moods, exhaustion and hormones you want to give up on life. But that's not your fault, your family and friends don't understand these things you are dealing with everyday and if they did (or could feel it for themselves) they would know all you need is a little understanding and patience. That's what I know I need anyway and sometimes you feel guilty for asking. Like "why do I need so much support why can't I just get on with it like everyone else" but the point is that living with constant pain is impossible. It's no wonder you're struggling because I am too. Sorry it's not very helpful but I wanted you to know I feel the same

[rachyroo1234 in reply to Disneygirl]

thank you for your reply I wish my family and friends would understand my dad is ex south african military and in his world everything has to be done and sorted now and I get pressure from him to start working like now as he is sick of me being home all day every day I get the most stress and hassle from him as he works from home. I have asked my doctors for help but nothing seems to be done about it.

[Disneygirl in reply to rachyroo1234]

Just getting up in the morning is hard enough let alone going to work. which some days is awful , I called in sick today. don't know how much longer I can hold a job down for when I'm suffering like this so I know exactly what you mean.

[rachyroo1234 in reply to Disneygirl]

I have been signed off compleatly as its all attacked to my bowel and one is 12cm other is 10cm each time i get stressed they flair up and cause me alot of pain i cant lift anything more than 1 or 2kg with out any pain its now really affecting me.

[happyseal in reply to rachyroo1234]

Have you thought of working from home? It's a great way to fit work on the pain agenda...and easier to manage our condition.

[rachyroo1234 in reply to happyseal]

im not allowed to work as if i get stressed it flairs it up quite badly

[happyseal in reply to rachyroo1234]

so sorry to hear it's that bad. So you have a lot of mood swings?

[rachyroo1234 in reply to happyseal]

yes all the time

[happyseal in reply to rachyroo1234]

Have you tried natural herbs to help with the pms symptoms? Agnus cactus works for me helping out with breast tenderness and mood swings...but some ladies say it doesn't work for them...some try black cohosh...check about both and see if any of them would be good for your symptoms. Just a suggestion.

[Disneygirl]

I'm sorry to hear it's so severe and unbearable. I've been thinking about getting signed off too

[JenH]

rachyroo1234 I am sorry to hear you are feeling like this and I do understand the depressed feeling. I had to go on antidepressants for a while earlier in the year as it all just got to me. Can I ask what the Docs have recommended about your current 12cm & 10cm cysts are you waiting for an operation date?

[rachyroo1234 in reply to JenH]

yes im waitting for a op to have them removed but its tricky as its attached to my bowel

[JenH in reply to rachyroo1234]

I have had mine removed from bladder and bowel recently (Sep) and I had to wait 12 months for that so I really do know that frustrating feeling. I am originally from Zim as is my Husband so he also struggles with how long things take and I know there have been times he thinks its in my head, I think that hurts more tbh. I am sorry I dont have anything to help you but I found knowing I wasn't alone and that someone else understood helped me. I am here if you want to chat over PM. Hang in there it did get better for me xx

[happyseal]

Yes, I felt like that when I was diagnosed. Honestly speaking, I lost most of my friends then. First, they couldn't understand. Secondly, I couldn't keep up with all the social life I had before, I was always tired, had loads of pain. And, changing my life style, diet, etc. just made me isolate a bit. But, I was lucky to have my boyfriend supporting me. I have changed a lot in my life, feel much better, more energy, and much less pain. All in all, it helps. It also helps to have this forum to share and ask. Moreover, I start taking it as a chanllenge by reading more about it, changing my diet, measuring my success based on making the pains going away, etc. Nowadays, I see it as a life changing. I had to let my friends go, and I barely talk about my problems with most people, just this forum, my blog, and my bf.