Had a "solar flare", husband wasn't having it.

[kimiebear]

My husband and I have been dealing with this for years and I just recently got off the Lupron and today he said I was annoying him and yelled at me and slammed on the table and just said it was intolerable today and I said he could have left me alone he said oh really cuz it seem like you really could not do without me today even though you were not up for company and just saying like hurtful things and I mention that I think it's a solar flare this morning and it's just been a really shitty day and it's only been one day like this and it's as if we've never had good days it's as if I was never on the Lupron he's completely blaming my behavior saying I'm not seeing it and saying I'm not listening to him and saying I'm denying it and it's not true that's not what happened today that may have happened in the past when I wasn't aware of it we're aware of what was happening and I'm aware of it now and it just doesn't matter and he just wants me to leave him alone and I'm hurt and I try to explain everything to him and explain that I gave him a heads-up and also show him that I can't remember the last time he offered to take care of me or clean the house when I felt bad or soothe me when I was emotionally like this because this is what I'm the most vulnerable and nothing I don't get support I get lash back and no patience...... I really feel like he is in the wrong does anyone have any suggestions?

I feel really hurt and really misunderstood and too sick to go to bed because he's just furious at me and he doesn't see what it's like to feel like this and to feel so contradicting and to just not make any sense and to be an emotional nutball but instead of not holding it against me, it's like held against me 3 fold because I'm just "being a bitch for no reason" kind of attitude, it doesn't matter that his mom and nephew were just here for a week and like it was such a smooth week even though there was lots of times where it could have been really bumpy and now it's like none of the good things happened that's his attitude towards me. like this is his first day experiencing my endometriosis, when we've been figuring this out for seven years and there's no change from now since day 1, if anything his patience is less, which is completely confusing to me. at this point I can't even talk to him for a split-second without him giving me attitude about the day and talking to him

[Starry]

Big hugs. X Try to slow down, breathe and if you can remove yourself from the stressfull situation to let things settle and the tension reduce. It's probably not really about who was right or wrong and that thinking will perpetuate the row. It was perhaps more whether either of you could cope at that moment in time. Endo takes its toll on our loved ones as well as us, it may be your other half is a bit worn out himself and maybe needs some support. Hope things settle soon and the flare subsides.

[Lithofairy]

I am so sorry- that sounds awful and that you both need to listen to one another- if he is willing to open up. Relationships with chronic illness are incredibly hard but possible. I just want to share that this book is SUPER helpful, esp the last half- not only is it good for your partner to read, but it opens up your mind about their perspective and to empathize with how difficult it is for both parties: Aches, Pains, and Love: A Guide to Dating and Relationships for Those With Chronic Pain and Illness smile.amazon.com/gp/product...

[Sweetyassi]

Hi,

So sorry to hear you're going through this. I understand as it happens to me on a regular basis. Having endo has put stress on my marriage. My children tell me I should go live with my parents for a while until my hubby calms down, but I can't as I can't go a day without seeing my children. My hubby gives me the silent treatment a lot especially when we can't have sex. I know he's stressed up too, and I know he hates his job working nights. He gets very moody, anything can trigger his bad mood and will take it out on me even if it's not my fault, he will give me the silent treatment and if he does say something to me he'll say it with hatred in his eyes and shout at me and blames me for his bad mood.

Try to remove yourself from the stressful situation like Starry said. I know I need to but I can't I don't have a choice.

Do you have anywhere else you can stay for awhile until things calm down?

Sweety.