Chronic endo pain + acute pain = meltdown!

[Susybee]

It's amazing what we can all cope with and then we find breaking point. I'm just feeling so low at the moment. Endo pain which is now called 'usual pains' involve stabbing left pelvic pain where cyst is. Constant sciatica from left bum cheek to toes. Groin pain, back pain that radiates to shoulders, headaches, ibs, piles and weak bladder. That's the daily norm at the moment but I've had costochondritis last year (rib cage inflammation) which has now been triggered by coughing so much with a chest infection that I found out by needing paramedics on Thursday night as the pain in my left chest/breast felt like a heart attack. It turns out that's how costochondritis can present. The gas and air in the ambulance was the only thing that helped all pains but sadly once it wore off the usual pains were back so I was eventually discharged with antibiotics. I'm already on antidepressants for depression, anxiety and social anxiety and I just feel so numb at the moment. I keep myself going and distracted by work, husband and 4 yr old son but I feel like everything is an effort. I can't even remember the last time I actually enjoyed anything pain free. I try to medicate (as lots of pills to keep me going) quietly and carry on without drawing attention to pain as I'm sick of myself being in pain so I don't want to keep complaining around my son and husband as they live with me and know how I suffer so I don't want to be defined by it but it's hard not to be when it's do debilitating and hot flushes from zoladex are written all over yr face. Other people are sympathetic but soon forget that it's all the time and that you go through this every day so they soon stop asking and you soon change the subject too as fed up of it myself! But thankfully places exist to let off steam to people that know exactly how this is as chronic pain does impact yr life and take it's toll and nobody really recognises how well we can cover it up and stop whinging for the sake of ours and others sanity but the pain rarely ceases and even if it does you daren't think it's for good 😔 sorry for the rant just want to curl up and hide but never do as my son needs me and he's so much fun, I'm lucky to have him x

[klp4]

Hi Susybee

Sorry to hear you are experiencing such a horrible time, sounds like a very difficult path right now.

Sometimes it can feel so lonely when your pain is uncontrolled. Have you had any contact with chronic pain team? I did try Headspace mediation which helped but lost my momentum a bit😬.

Please don't feel alone, other sufferers are with you too.

Take care

Xx

[martoosha]

bless you....just keep strong. easy said i know but we are all with you xxx