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Endometriosis UK
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Sex post laparoscopy

Writing on this type of forum is totally new to me so please bare with me! I had my laparoscopy 5 weeks ago this Friday and have completely refrained from being intimate (at least on my part) with my boyfriend for 6 weeks. That is until last night when I told him I finally felt ready to try things and see how we got on only to find that the situation was incredibly awkward and we both felt uncomfortable getting into the swing of things. My partner explained he was concerned about hurting me which is totally understandable but I couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed that things didn't just snap straight back to normal. Has anyone else experienced a similar situation and did it resolve itself? The whole ordeal of the actual operation, recovery and then this situation with my boyfriend have left me feeling totally unsexy and not myself lately :(

8 Replies

I have had two and it can take a while, but it will be fine again - it is still so soon - putting pressure on yourself now will not help, sounds like your boyfriend is being really understanding. Just have lots of cuddles and some quality 'couple bubble' (ie do things you both enjoy and focus on just being together) time for coming weeks and before you know all will be back to normal:)


Thank you for your reply MillyMe :) We haven't had much quality couple time recently as we have both had a lot going on but I think that could really help! I think you're right I definitely need to put less pressure on myself and let things happen naturally. Thank you!


Look at the positives - you clearly have a loving partner who is more concerned about your well-being than getting a bit of fun!

Following my laparoscopy we were both a bit cautious to begin with and there weren't exactly sparks flying, but things soon got back to normal.

Take time to just bond and be close, cuddle etc before jumping into things. Reassure him that you're enjoying yourself and not in pain and it will back to normal in the bedroom before you know it.


Blog: ellasendo.com


Thank you for your reply Ella_x :) it's reassuring to hear others have experienced this too! My initial worry was that it was a sign of trouble in our relationship but I'm glad to hear it's normal. I will try to relax and hopefully it will help him relax more too!


I've had 3 operations now, third was 5 weeks ago. 1st time I was very nervous for a while afterwards when it came to sex, this was just making it worse and I realised it was mainly in my head. I have a very patient and understanding husband and it sounds like your boyfriend is too, once I figured out it was me stressing and not him things went back to normal! Now I know if I'm ready and this time I was fine not long after my op!

LH x

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Thanks for your reply LH14 :) I honestly think the laparoscopy left me in a bit of a state of shock as I wasn't expecting it to be as big of a deal as it was. Saying that, it's reassuring to hear it gets easier with time and similarly to you I am very lucky to have a caring and understanding partner to help me through :)


Hey sweetie. I have bad "dyspareunia" which is a big part of what triggered my diagnosis. It has wreaked havoc with my love life. Firstly don't panic it is utterly normal to experience issue like you are going through. It is a sign that your partner loves and cares for you. Take it slowly not all lovemaking needs to be penetrative. You will soon rebuild trust and confidence. 3pm Pm me if u want X endometriosis.org/resources...


I haven't had that problem, but I can understand totally how it would come about and how you would both feel.

We tried to focus on being cuddly, enjoying being close, and the comfort that brings; the actual act comes naturally.

He's probably feeling left out and worried, also put off and feeling unsexy. Maybe have a chat about if it hurts you'll say, so he doesn't feel like he needs to read your mind, sort of thing. And just be natural. Yes you want to feel yourself again, but just take time, consider that you may not be your usual self, use this as a time for rediscovery , things could get better! :)


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