Exhausted and exaserbated

Hello Ladies... so I have returned to this site as again I am playing the waiting game and its hitting me pretty hard. I was diagnosed with Endro 2 years ago after many years of gyny problems. On failed cyst removal, one failed hysterectomy then back on the waiting list to start all over again from scratch following a move to a different area after the breakdown of my marriage. Feel like I am loosing control here and hitting a very dark time in my life. I was due to have my pre op appointment tomorrow and received a call today stating that it had been cancelled due to another patient of more urgency needing it.

I feel so completely out of control and am incredibly depressed.... so i thought by maybe reaching out I could possibly feel a little better. So very much has happened in this past year, everyday I get up and fight the good fight. Just keep going I tell myself, just stay strong.

I know so many women go through this and worse but today was the first time in a long time I actually thought to myself, how nice it would be to just fall asleep and not wake up. Ever op I've had has been unsuccessful, every intrusive examination traumatising, I just want it to stop.

Sorry ladies its a bit of a heavy one, just needed to get whats in my head out xx

5 Replies

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  • I am so sorry to hear what has been happening with you. No need to apologise, it's good to get your feelings out. I just want you to know you are not alone and you are understood by so many of us endo ladies. Please keep writing and connecting as it will help you and others to realise they are not the only people to feel that way. I can also recommend the Endometriosis UK helpline as they will help you to feel better:

    endometriosis-uk.org/helpline

    I would also go along to an Endometriosis UK support group. If there isn't one near you, they have online support groups.

    It's vitally important to talk to others when you feel this way and I would seek help with your depression if you haven't already done so, such as talking to a counsellor. I think meditation can help too. I also find taking walks outside in nature makes me feel better.

    I just wondered whether you have been to see an endo specialist at a BSGE centre as it sounds like you may have been to see general gynaecologists with all the troubles you have been having? If not, I would ask your doctor for a referral to see a specialist explaining to the doctor all the problems you have been having so hopefully you can have less of a wait. You could also write to your consultant's secretary telling them about all your troubles so that hopefully your appointment could be hurried up and they don't cancel on you again. I realise it's so very exhausting fighting a constant battle with so many hurdles but try to take it all one small positive step at a time and it won't feel as overwhelming. I honestly believe that things will get better for you if you do this and I hope this has helped. Thinking of youx

  • Many thanks xx

  • Sorry you're having such a bad time and do know how you feel. Just hang in there and hopefully tomorrow will feel a bit better. Hugs x

  • Many thanks xx

  • Thank you ladies for your messages, Monday was a bad day but I have brushed myself down again taking each day as it comes xxx

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