How to navigate your career with endo.

[KM1986]

Hello lovely ladies. I'm really struggling at work just now and wondering how you all cope. I'm in a high pressured management role working 50-70 hours a week. Luckily I'm mainly desk based.However my health over the last 2 years has progressively got significantly worse. I don't feel able to do all the hours I normally do and it's even put me off taking a promotion which would involve more responsibility.

My boss is a man and i find it really difficult to speak to him about how I'm feeling. I don't say much about my endo and he doesn't get how hard it is and how much i have to fight every day just to get through the door.

What can i do? I feel like i need to be on part time hours I'm so ill. 😪

[anonymousunicorn]

50-70 hours a week every week is not legal so I’d be calling that out as you possibly just need a standard full time rota eg 40 hours per week?

Do you have an occupational health team you could ask for recommendations from? They could also then pass their report onto your manager with your consent to help him understand more.

It’s great that you are mainly desk based, are you able to explore home working to give you a bit of convenience on the days you are struggling?

Thinks will get better 💗

[KM1986 in reply to anonymousunicorn]

Thanks so much for your reply 💓HR is available to me although it is external. He's one of these David Brent managers though that thinks everyone can talk to him about anything but they can't.

The hours is tricky. As I'm management it's not illegal as its classed as me taking it upon myself to do these hours. Which it is but when you have mountains of work you have no choice.

Working from home sadly isn't an option as i need to be on hand for staff reporting to me.

I have asked to condense my hours several times and it's agreed but then it never happens.

I know in my heart I need to be firm and put my health first but it makes me feel bad worrying what I'd be passing off.

[Pug_mum_with_endo]

Just had the same conversation with my partner. You're not alone and it's tough to navigate especially when you're invested in wanting to both do a good job and know that the work will pile up regardless. I don't have any answers I'm afraid, as i put myself through it working 12 hour days sometimes - but I hope you can get through this. The system needs to change.

[KM1986 in reply to Pug_mum_with_endo]

Thanks so much for replying. The fact you're in a similar situation just stops me feeling alone 💓 have you considered condensing your hours?

[Pug_mum_with_endo in reply to KM1986]

I've considered it - small team, work responsibilities and this economy doesn't help matters. I listened to a talk by David Sedaris a while back where he recounted hearing that our lives are made up of four major elements like burners on a hob: family, friends, health and work. He was told that to be successful at any one of these aspects of life, you have to switch off one burner. To be really successful, you have to switch off two. It got me thinking - despite chronic pain I've switched off my health burner and kept ploughing into work. The only options I've got are to either keep going this way or make a work choice that helps me prioritise health. What that looks like, I'm not sure. You are definitely not alone - and I think part of the issue is that it's mostly an invisible health condition, male colleagues can sympathise but can't relate - and it's not easy to talk about at work. Big hugs.

[Moonglo]

All I can say is that I used to work a 37.5 hr week and my illness record went off the scale - without fail one week a month would be disrupted because I was in too much pain to go into the office, or because I had to be sent home.

I changed my contract to 16 hours (working 2 days a week), which gave me a chance to feel poorly without stress/guilt, and to go to regular doctor/hospital appointments. My illness record went to zero (I think I had one day off sick in 8 years).

[KM1986 in reply to Moonglo]

Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to afford to work part-time but I'm so happy for you that it's worked out. I am thinking condensing my hours so i get at least another day off would help. Thank you x

[fedupwithendo]

I have the same issue. Last year of my nursing at uni I found out I had endometriosis. Tried for 10 years on and off but its not a job I can really not turn up for. Waiting for hysterectomy now at 39 and I am just trying to figure out what I can do. How do you explain that some days you're great but some days I can't get out of bed? I have no answers but as someone else said, you're not alone.If anyone has any success stories I would welcome some positive stories!

[CaffeineCat]

Hi there, I'm new here and awaiting a formal diagnosis via laparoscopy, but I can relate to you! I work as a shift leader in a café which is very busy and has lots of stairs. Since the new year, I've gone from regularly working 40 hour weeks on my feet and running around all day, to barely being able to manage 15 hours a week. I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time at work at the moment! Do you have a manager/supervisor or someone other than your boss who you would be more comfortable talking to?

[Endosufferer1]

It depends. Do you need so much money or you could probably do less and it would still be OK (you also have the disability benefits + your work)? Or can you find another job requiring less from you and you still get a decent salary? Your health is your priority. I know that's not what you would have wanted, you would have wanted to be the one in your family to show that YOU can do it and you want to do so but sometimes it's very hard to realise the facts in front of you (that's how I feel). Or simply, you need to take a break, without doing any work for them and travel on holidays, like going to the beach or whatever you truly enjoy doing!!!💓💖💞♥️❤️💓Don't feel ashamed, I'm 24 and I do tend to feel ashamed/ambarassed because at that age, you've got a ton of responsibilities (especially that my dad has passed away from generalised cancer) and you can't be disabled (I've got thoracic endo, it's horrible). You're way much older (I guess), soon you'll get retired (let's hope so), I think you can allow yourself a break or to work part-time (for my part, I'd love so much but so much to be much older and be retired because my inner body feels like an old grandma but the outside doesn't reflect that).